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Exclusive Report: WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!

July 30, 2014


From the files of “This isn’t going to end well” we bring you this exclusive breaking news exclusive!

A Woman With Ebola Has Escaped Quarantine And Is On The Run In A City Of One Million People!

Sierra Leone officials have desperately appealed for help to locate a woman with the deadly Ebola virus after her family forcibly removed her from a Freetown hospital after she tested positive for the gruesome disease.

Radio stations in Freetown, a city of around 1 million inhabitants, broadcast the appeal find the woman who has been missing since last week.

The Ebola disease has killed 660 people across Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone since an outbreak was reported back in February.

Saudatu Koroma, 32, a resident of the densely populated Wellington neighbourhood, had been admitted to an “isolation ward” while blood samples were tested for the virus, Health ministry spokesman Sidi Yahya Tunis.

The positive results came back last Thursday.  She hasn’t been seen since.

“The family of the patient stormed the hospital and forcefully removed her and took her away,” Tunis said. “We are searching for her.”

Fighting one of the world’s deadliest diseases is straining the region’s weak health systems, while a lack of information and suspicion of medical staff has led many to shun treatment.



Earlier this year, a man in Freetown tested positive for Ebola although he is believed to have caught it elsewhere.

According to health ministry data and officials, dozens of people confirmed by laboratory tests to have Ebola are now unaccounted for in Sierra Leone, where the majority of cases have been recorded in the country’s east.

While international medical organisations have deployed experts to the field in an attempt to contain the outbreak, the World Health Organisation (WHO) said poor health infrastructure and a lack of manpower were hindering their efforts.

“We’re seeing many of these facilities simply don’t have enough people to provide the constant level of care needed,” WHO spokesman Paul Garwood told The Gutter Trash.

There is no cure or vaccine for Ebola, which causes diarrhoea, vomiting and internal and external bleeding.

It can kill up to 90 per cent of those infected, although the mortality rate of the current outbreak is around 60 per cent.

The West African outbreak is the first time that Ebola, which was first discovered in what is now Democratic Republic of Congo in 1976, has appeared in heavily populated urban areas and international travel hubs.

Cases have already been confirmed in Conakry and Monrovia, the capital cities of Guinea and Liberia.






Operation Bring Them Home: The Unfolding Shambles

July 29, 2014


Operation “Bring them Home” is all going swimmingly well with one hundred and ninety or so Australian Federal Police now somewhere near the crash zone of flight MH17.

The team – including Australian and Dutch inspectors – drove into an “active battle zone” as they headed for the “chaotic and extremely dangerous” site in eastern Ukraine.

According to bystanders in the area , heavy armed fighting continues 15 kilometres from the crash site.

The rebels are scrambling to try to retain control of the crash site, with fears now emerging for the safety of the AFP and questions arising over the wisdom of sending unarmed officers to the war zone in the first place.

Despite efforts to access the crash site, Australian Police were forced to turn back about 30 kilometres from the fields from where the plane crashed.

Rebels in the area claim the Ukrainian army have seized control of part of the vast crash site.

“The Ukrainians have taken over a part of the crash site,” said Vladimir Antyufeev, first deputy prime minister of the self-styled Donetsk People’s Republic.


Prime Minister Abbott says he will be making some phone calls.

“I’ll be making phone calls later today to see what we can do . . . I’ll be talking soon to people on the ground to make sure that it happens, it happens as quickly as possible and it happens as safely as possible.”

It appears that the Australian Government underestimated the situation on the ground and is now considering arming the AFP officers.

Foreign Minister Julie Bishop is hopeful Ukrainian MPs will ratify an agreement to allow Australians to carry weapons at the MH17 crash site.

Armed AFP officers in a war zone.

What could possibly go wrong…?






Rostrum: Operation Operational Operations Edition!

July 25, 2014


Sneering leftie elitists presents Joe Hockey the Smiling Buffoon, or How Australia Learned to Love Me and Make Me the Prime Minister.

That fat cigar-smoking sanctimonious bastard Joe Hockey, otherwise known as the Federal Treasurer, has unleashed a new account of his rise to the Prime Ministership in a much anticipated sequel to the success of his first ever federal budget.

The book, a precipitous concoction of mixed accounts from key players in the Liebral party, loosely packs together the somewhat disjointed and frequently opposing views of the protagonist’s rise from sweaty North Shore bumbling buffoon to smug Canberarrean cunt.

Yesterday at the launch of the book, the Treasurer said he’d leave ambitions of becoming PM to “destiny or whatever it may be”.

Yeah whatever…






Jacquie Lambie’s Massive Cock Up!

July 23, 2014


Jacqui Lambie, the Palmer United Party MP who shares the balance of power in the upper house, has apologised after declaring in a radio interview that she is looking for a partner who is “well-hung” and loaded.

They don’t even need to speak,” said Ms Lambie, a 43-year-old single mother of two.

The somewhat unpredictable and unruly Senator denied her remarks were a thinly veiled swipe at Prime Minister Tony Abbott.

“Well he might not be a prize cock” she said, “but he is a massive prick.”

In a radio interview in her home state of Tasmania, Ms Lambie told Heart FM that her ideal partner “must have heaps of cash and they’ve got to have a package between their legs”.

When a 22-year-old listener named Jamie offered to date the MP, she asked: “You don’t have any diseases do you?”

The exchange continued as James assured the former military policewoman he could handle her, which prompted her to ask: “Are you well-hung?”

Ms Lambie then appeared to acknowledge that the banter may have tested the bounds of propriety and later issued an apology, saying her remarks had been “taken out of context.”

Why is Bill Shorten Attending the Australian Christian Lobby National Conference?

July 23, 2014


The leader of the opposition, Bill Shorten, has been confirmed as the keynote speaker at The Australian Christian Lobby’s National Conference in October this year.

This is the same event that former Prime Minister Julia Gillard was booked to address, but cancelled at a rate of knots after the hate group’s then leader Jim Wallace suggested that the homosexual “lifestyle” was more hazardous than smoking.

The fight against marriage equality is still a central platform for the Christian Lobby, and something its leader Lyle Shelton has been particularly vocal about again since a new poll found 72% of Australians wanted the reform.

In a press release strangely titled More mature marriage debate needed, Shelton steered well clear of maturity last week as he expressed his slippery slope fears about same-sex marriage, including the strange idea that children would be taken from their biological parents, and that polygamy or even ‘child marriage’ could result opening up marriage laws to same-sex couples.

It’s beyond me what Bill hopes to achieve from this ill-considered venture particularly when you consider that the Australian Christian Lobby primarily consists of a mob of mean-spirited, elderly white people with their mean pursed lips, pearl earrings and tartan skirts mouthing off at anything that poses a “threat” to their hokey little twin-set and horn-rimmed view of the world.

I mean seriously, what can he possibly hope to achieve?

This bunch of antediluvian mongrels masquerade their hate-filled views couched as some sort of feigned concern for “the children” (who will think of them?), but in reality, the ever present odour of their rancid views invariably seeps through and is self-evident for anyone with half a brain – which is quite clearly the upper limit for membership of their fucked-up little group.





Israel launches military offensive on Civilian Targets

July 23, 2014


The death toll in Gaza has surged to over 600 with Israel and Hamas showing no signs of giving peace a chance.

Sirens wailed, rockets exploded and anguished screams resounded on both sides of the border as fresh casualties were counted and mourned by Palestinians and Israelis.

Secretary of State Kerry and UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon have arrived in Egypt for talks designed to broker a ceasefire deal, but Israeli bombings were intense – more than 70 targets were hit in the Gaza Strip yesterday including five mosques, a soccer stadium and the home of Hamas’ late military chief.

Israeli Defense Minister Moshe Yaalon said he’s prepared to continue a “full-scale ground offensive as long as necessary” to squash Hamas’ ability to launch rockets into the Jewish state and infiltrate its southern region through underground tunnels.

Ismail Haniyeh, a top Hamas leader, countered that the Islamic militant group will not agree to an unconditional ceasefire.

In a televised speech in Gaza on Monday, Haniyeh said Hamas’ aim is to break a blockade of the Palestinian territory imposed in 2007 after Palestinian elections swept Hamas into power.

“Gaza has decided to end the blockade by its blood and by its courage,” he said.

President Obama says he understands Israel’s need to defend itself against rocket attacks, but believes its military has already done “significant damage” to Hamas.

“We have serious concerns about the rising number of Palestinian civilian deaths and the loss of Israeli lives,” Obama said.

“And that is why it now has to be our focus and the focus of the international community to bring about a ceasefire.”

At least 10 Hamas militants were killed Monday, taken out by an Israeli missile strike as they tried to sneak into Israel through a tunnel on the border near Nir Am, Israeli officials said.

click image for larger view

click image for larger view

Gun battles in Gaza on Monday cost the lives of seven Israeli soldiers, hit by antitank rockets in separate skirmishes. The deaths came a day after 13 Israeli soldiers and 100 Palestinians were killed in Gaza.

Israel has lost 27 soldiers and two civilians since fighting erupted on July 8.

Palestinian health officials said over 580 Gazans have been killed in the past two weeks.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu blamed civilian deaths in Gaza on Hamas, saying the militants continued to use innocent people as human shields, even hiding rockets in hospitals.

“So this is the cruelest, most grotesque war that I’ve ever seen. It (Hamas) actually wants to pile up as many civilian deaths as possible.”

Netanyahu accused Hamas of “triple war crimes” for hiding behind civilians.






Everybody (Still) Hates Tony Abbott (Part III)

July 21, 2014


Tony Abbott’s so-called achievement in scrapping the carbon tax last week has not arrested the government’s downward trajectory in the polls, with Labor’s primary support rising by three points and voters still favouring Opposition Leader Bill Shorten for a third consecutive month.

Abbott’s overall “trustworthiness” rating now stands at a record low of 35 per cent after Joe Hockey’s first budget, which has also shredded his standing as preferred treasurer.

Christopher Pyne’s “popularity” amongst voters remains steady at minus 35 per cent.

The budget’s mix of harsh cuts and new imposts, including the $7 GP co-payment and an increase in fuel tax, have wiped out a 17 percentage point advantage Mr Hockey had over shadow treasurer Chris Bowen in March.

That collapse comes after weeks of policy inertia by the government, which delivered a budget containing measures expressly ruled out before the election and for which it has since done little to build a case.

The Treasurer vacated the budget battleground during the carbon tax argument, only to return from holidays threatening to introduce harsher cuts unless the Senate capitulated to his demands.

The nationwide survey of 1400 people was taken from Thursday, July 17, to Saturday, July 19, and shows Labor well ahead of the Coalition on two-party preferred terms at 54 per cent to 46 per cent, based on 2013 preference flows.

That amounts to a swing to Labor of 7.5 per cent since September.

The survey period straddled the deaths of 37 Australian citizens and residents aboard Malaysia Airlines flight MH17, which was shot down over eastern Ukraine on Thursday night.

Mr Abbott’s assured handling of the atrocity in the hours since has been well received but this has not resulted in any lift in the polls.

His approval rating has improved mildly since the June survey but he remains deeply unpopular with a net rating – the percentage of those who approve of his performance minus those who disapprove – sitting at minus 18 per cent.

That is a seven-point improvement but he still trails Blib Shorten. The Opposition Leader’s net approval slipped into negative territory but is much healthier at just minus 3 per cent.

On preferred prime minister, Mr Shorten continued to lead by 5 per cent at 46 per cent to 41 per cent.

Pollster John Stirton said the result was a bad one for the government and especially for Mr Abbott.

”Mr Abbott fell behind in May 2014 after eight months in office, faster than any previous prime minister with the exception of Paul Keating who started out behind,” he said.

”Julia Gillard was preferred PM for her first 13 months in office … Kevin Rudd was never behind and John Howard was preferred PM for 21 months after being elected.”

When respondents were asked to say whether Mr Abbott or Mr Shorten was a ”strong leader”, the Prime Minister had a seven-point lead over his rival. But that same strength shows up in negative ways, with just 38 per cent of voters viewing him as open to ideas compared with 58 per cent for Mr Shorten.

On competence, Mr Shorten leads Mr Abbott by five points, 57/52, and Mr Shorten has a 10-point lead on the question of trustworthiness, 45/35.

Both men were seen as safe from internal challenge, with about two-thirds of voters believing they had the confidence of their parties.

However, Mr Abbott was way ahead of Mr Shorten on the issue of ”vision for Australia’s future”, leading 54 to 38 per cent.

Just 28 per cent of voters regard Mr Abbott as open to influence by minority groups compared with Mr Shorten, who is seen as malleable by 42 per cent.

Mr Abbott also leads on foreign policy competence, 43/38, and decisively on an ability to make things happen, where he is ahead by 22 points on 58/36.

On economic policy, the two are evenly poised but on sensitivity to social policy the Opposition Leader scored best at 58/34.







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