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Jeremy Clarkson Unfairly Dumped from Top Gear!

March 26, 2015


In yet another sign of political correctness gone mad, the BBC has decided to sack one of its most popular presenters, Jeremy Clarkson from the show “Top Gear,” for supposedly attacking a producer.

“It is with great regret that I have told Jeremy Clarkson today that the BBC will not be renewing his contract,” BBC Director-General Tony Hall told The Gutter Trash earlier today.

Top Gear is a popular motoring show which attracts some 350 million viewers worldwide. Clarkson’s contract with the show is thought to expire at the end of this month.

His departure will have considerable financial implications for the British broadcaster, as it earns around £50 million a year from the show.

Clarkson, who has been forced to apologise in the past for using apparently racist language, was suspended on March 10 over what the BBC said at the time was a “fracas”.

However, an internal investigation revealed that he launched an “unprovoked physical and verbal attack” on “Top Gear” producer Oisin Tymon after filming on March 4.

The physical attack lasted around 30 seconds and saw Clarkson strike the producer, giving him a swelling, bleeding lip for which Tymon sought help at a hospital.

Clarkson subsequently made a number of attempts to apologise to Tymon after the incident in a hotel where the team was staying in Yorkshire in northern England, and then reported himself to BBC management.

In a statement, Tymon said the incident was “very regrettable” and said the presenter was a “unique talent”.

“I am well aware that many will be sorry his involvement in the show should end in this way,” the producer said.

The suspension of Clarkson, viewed by fans as a straight-talking man-of-the-people and by detractors as a boorish bigot, sparked nationwide debate.

Clarkson was already on his last warning from the BBC, for whom he has worked since 1988, after drawing fire over a string of inflammatory remarks.

He was accused of using the N-word while reciting an old nursery rhyme in leaked footage, something he denied, and of making a racially offensive comment about an Asian man.

Top Gear has also been criticised over jokes at the expense of Albanians, Romanians, Germans and Mexicans.

Last year, the team fled Argentina after residents hurled stones at a Porsche Clarkson was driving whose licence plates appeared to make reference the Falklands War.






Newspoll Versus Morgan: The Criminal Tendency Of Murdoch’s Numbers

March 24, 2015


The following article is by Bob Ellis…

In its most audacious fraud in many a year Murdoch’s Newspoll showed Abbott’s government gaining half a million votes in the fortnight when he insulted the Irish, the Jews, the Aborigines, the United States and the Senate, backflipped on auto manufacturing and lied about submarines, and Pyne in a crazy shrieking outburst swore he’d sack seventeen hundred scientists if the Senate did not agree to pauper all future students by Tuesday, and when they wouldn’t do that weirdly chirped, ‘I fixed it.’

A simultaneous poll by Morgan had Labor with seven hundred thousand more votes, on 56 percent, than Newspoll’s 51 percent. When Paul Bongiorno noted this contrast, Fran Kelly threw him out of the studio.

Morgan always gets it right; in Queensland, it said, correctly, 49.5 for Labor and ‘too close to call’. And, however Newspoll dresses up its mendacity — preference flow as in 2013; numbers ‘weighted’ to reflect the population distribution; 9 percent ‘refused’ or ‘undecided’ excluded — it can only be guilty, this week and often, of criminal fraud.

For it is not likely that the Coalition gained half a million votes while Pyne behaved as madly as he did last week; while Abbott said Shorten was like Goebbels and deficits for sixty years were ‘not so bad, considering’; while the Moss Report revealed that blow-jobs for marihuana had become the currency of Nauru on Morrison’s watch and children were suiciding, and Morrison told pensioners they would get less money hereafter, and for the rest of their lives, precisely when they needed more.

But, like the Emperor’s new clothes, we are told by Col Allen there was no harm done Abbott that week, that fortnight, and the preposterous headline, TURNAROUND TONY, is thereby improbably, miraculously affirmed.

Yet the fact is pretty much what Morgan said it was: that the Coalition, in Pyne’s maddest week, and Abbott’s and Hockey’s most shamed one, lost three hundred thousand votes which it might not get back.

And, were an election held on Saturday, Labor would gain fifty or fifty-two seats, and the Greens two or three.

And no amount of shonky twisting and wrestling and mangling of numbers will get those lost sheep back.

And so it goes.


Robert “Bob” Ellis is an Australian writer, journalist, film maker and political commentator. 




Rostrum: An Evening with Malcolm Turnbull!

March 20, 2015


Fellow patriots I bring good news!  Malcolm “Talcum” Turnbull has kindly agreed to appear “live” on tonight’s edition of Rostrum to answer you, our very valued readers and blogging enthusiast’s, questions.

Yes, you too, can have an audience with Talcum and uncover the secrets to his unbridled success.

As we await his royal highness’ presence, we invite you to submit your questions.

We’ve put together a couple to get the ball rolling…


1. How do you sleep at night?

2. What inspired you to invent the internet?

3. How is rising the price of a stamp to $1 and slowing mail delivery by 2 days good policy?

4. Would you eat an un-peeled raw onion?  If not, why not?

5. Is a copper network really the future?

6. If metadata isn’t important why do you use an encrypted messaging service?

7. You seem like a decent and intelligent person. How did you end up in the liberal party?


Feel free to add your “question for Talcum” to the list!







“Bullying is Hurtful and Wrong” Says Tony Abbott

March 20, 2015


Without a hint of irony, Prime Minister Tony Abbott has released yet another creepy stilted video throwing his support behind a national anti-bullying campaign.

Mr Abbott urged schoolchildren to speak out against cyberbullying, labelling it “hurtful and wrong”.

“I want to speak to the children of Australia, you are our future,” Tony Abbott said in a video message filmed in his office.

“Everyone has a part to play in Australia and everyone belongs.

“The great thing about Australia is that we are all different, we are all unique.

“We are all special, and that is why there is no place for bullying, in the playground or on the internet.

“Bullying is hurtful and it’s wrong.”

The Government said 2014 research showed approximately one in five children experience bullying online, and Mr Abbott said children being bullied should not feel alone.

“If you are being bullied, I want you to know that I am behind you, that your teachers are behind you and your family is behind you as well,” he said.

He has issued the video as part of a national campaign against bullying.

Today, 1,900 schools across Australia are expected to “take a stand together” as part of the 2015 National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence.

“I encourage you to be part of that conversation,” Mr Abbott said in his address.

The release of the video coincides with Mr Abbott using a Nazi slur to castigate Bill Shorten in Parliament House yesterday.






RIP Malcolm Fraser

March 20, 2015


Former prime minister Malcolm Fraser has died.

“It is with deep sadness that we inform you that after a brief illness John Malcolm Fraser died peacefully in the early hours of the morning of 20 March 2015,” a statement read.

“We appreciate that this will be a shock to all who knew and loved him, but ask that the family be left in peace at this difficult time.”

Malcolm Fraser was prime minister of Australia and leader of the Liberal Party from 1975 to 1983.

He was Australia’s 22nd prime minister, taking the job in events so dramatic they still reverberate decades on.

Mr Fraser was sworn in as caretaker prime minister in 1975 after the Whitlam government was dismissed in a constitutional crisis that followed months of budget deadlock in the Senate.

He led the Liberals to victory in the 1975 election before being succeeded by Labor’s Bob Hawke in 1983.

While the political left loathed Mr Fraser for his role in the 1975 “coup” against Gough Whitlam the pair developed a close friendship post politics.

In recent years, Mr Fraser had become an outspoken critic of the Liberal Party and quit the party in 2010 over the party’s lurch to the right on issues such as immigration.



Double Dissolution Just Wishful Thinking

March 19, 2015



With thanks to our exclusive sources and LNP insider/whistleblower, The Gutter Trash can reveal that the Prime Minister, Minister for Women, and self-professed “Minister for Indigenous Affairs” (Tony Abbott), openly canvassed the prospect of taking this once great nation to the polls in a showdown ahead of the forecast 2017 timeframe in the form of a dramatic double dissolution election.

A double dissolution is generally brought on when a government is confident of winning an unscheduled poll and with the intention of securing a mandate to push through unpopular measures.   It is seldom considered an option for a government languishing in the polls and with a PM as popular as anthrax.

The Gutter Trash has been told that the brain fart idea of going to a double dissolution election was raised at an LNP shindig following Monday afternoon’s cabinet meeting.

Some ministers were stunned that the issue was even raised as a possibility, given the government’s political situation. One described it as a “uniformly fucking stupid idea.”

It was raised in a general discussion in the context of the Coalition’s inability to get major changes through the Senate.

After its higher education proposals were voted down on Monday, Education Minister Christopher “”the fixer”” Pyne vowed to bring the bill back in the same form, and Abbott said on Wednesday the government would “have another go at this”.

The government has also indicated it could bring back the fair work (registered organisations) legislation which was voted down in early March.

Calling a double dissolution to break a parliamentary deadlock between the houses requires that a bill must be rejected twice, with three months in between the two votes, meaning the higher education and fair work bills could potentially become triggers by late June.

The government already has two double dissolution election triggers, but is unlikely to use either.

One is the clean energy finance corporation abolition bill and the other is the clean energy income tax rates and other measures amendment bill – which seeks to repeal the second round of tax cuts associated with the former government’s carbon tax.

The double dissolution teaser follows a litany of failures as the government struggles to pass any of its 2014 Budget measures through what it calls “a feral” senate.





Christopher “the Fixer” Pyne

March 17, 2015







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