Introducing the Daily Trash!
With Fairfax today announcing that both highly-esteemed broadsheets The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald will be transformed into “tabloids” (who TF came up that idea, Gina?), the International Media Conglomerate Publishing House and Consortium Partners Limited of Gutter Trash Enterprises have today launched a new online Australian publication “The Daily Trash” to protect and maintain our massive market share in this competitive space as an aggressive pre-emptive strike.
The Daily Trash, building upon the highest standards of journalism, ethics and integrity as championed by our TV offshoots A Current Affair and Today Tonight is determined to bring our discerning readers with the calibre of indepth news and reporting that only true news junkies can appreciate..
Already our international editorial team of commission-only, work-experience, Bangladeshi contractors are working on the following stunning cutting edge editorial exclusives:
“Delta Goodrem. Why is she such a pain in the arse?”
“Milo. Why it’s Killing You and Your Family”
“Foreigners: Why they’re Stealing all our Jobs”
Here’s what our already many satisfied customers and loyal subscribers are already saying…
“If I only I had heard about The Daily Trash months ago. It shits all over News of The World. Got any jobs…?” ~ Rebekah Brooks
theguttertrash.com 
Can’t I read all these stories on other news sites?
How come The Farnham REport isn’t listed on the Blogroll ..?
Is this a “secret” news blog owned by the Labor party or the LibNits>
Does anyone else ever leave a comment here?
Jeesus, the place is only just opened TB…. !!!
Seems noice enough.
Clearly this is the future of journalism. I take it someone leaked the new Fairfax business plan and you’ve jumped in first, reb. Sadly, you don’t have to sack a pack of bleating lefty journos. To bolster the “trash” credentials I’d like to volunteer to do an occasional column on crafty farts and other anal prevarications as related to me by celebrity gerbil (and long time resident of Wayne Swan’s rectum) Garry Gritter.
How come I can’t return to The Farnham Report …?
… is this a SCAM for money …?
Are you Nigerian or Scottish?
Where’s, egg, going to comment on this trashy blog …
Are any Bears here?
Wonder if Jaws will find his way here?
Its right up his alley.
“How come I can’t return to The Farnham Report …?”
I will put up a link back to the Farnham Report (just for you)… 😉
However the intention is that the Daily Trash will replace the Farnham Report so I will probably close the Farnham Report in a couple of days…
I will put up a link back to the Farnham Report (just for you)…
Whoo! You are clever but I like you …
However the intention is that the Daily Trash will replace the Farnham Report so I will probably close the Farnham Report in a couple of days…
Sooooo … fkn predictable … 😆
Wonder if Jaws will find his way here?
Its right up his alley.
LOL! I’m not sure he can work out to “click” on the image like us technophiles did … he is a A rich accuntant ya know …
‘he is a A rich accuntant ya know …’
Probably a little richer after cleaning up at the ASX today.
mmmmmmmmmm, snogglies, mmmmmmmmmmm…
Are snogglies autological? I don’t think that they are.
Had I not done my head in with the Grelling–Nelson paradox, I’d have never even considered the possibility.
😯
If you’re planning on hiring ex-Fairfax staff you’d better open up your wallet. Printers there
arewere on $150,000 pa for an eight day fortnight. Good gravy while it lasted.You’re not employing Michelle Grattan, are ya?
Sparta’ll never find us now. 😉
Gina wants three seats on the board… I applaud her strength and conviction.
NICK LEYS in the Oz.
‘In the end, the gutting of Australia’s oldest newspaper mastheads came swiftly.
‘Staff wept at their desks, printers were told their jobs would be gone within two years, editors shook their heads at cuts so severe that management had not briefed them, and a generation of journalists stared into the face of a reality more than a decade in the making.’
“Gina wants three seats on the board”
Maybe they could just invest in a bigger chair.
Amusing listening to Steven Conroy worrying about losing diversity of opinion in newspapers. Wasn’t opinion supposed to be a bad thing and papers should stick to reporting the news? Oh that’s right, only if it’s the wrong kind of opinion.
Also funny listening to Faifaxistas describing the new “compact” newspaper. Just say it. It’s gonna be a stinkin’ Tabloid!
“Maybe they could just invest in a bigger chair”
chuckle… 🙂
Maybe they could just invest in a bigger chair.
Absolute classic!!! 😆
Interesting … Australia … we are not alone …
http://uk.reuters.com/news/pictures/slideshow?articleId=UKRTR33TNB#a=1
Fark me !
I’m going to need a new GPS to keep up with you cnuts soon.
The Blogosphere can only have so many dark alleys to hide down
Very thoughtful series of articles here!
I’ll be recommending this to all my friends.
I agree with the Dr.
This is a great site, and looks to ahve some incredibly intelligent contributors!
Including Her Majesty I trust………
Yes, this seems to be a quality site.
Perhaps a pay wall would be a way of keeping out some of the rif raf.
Snogglies…
Including Her Majesty I trust………
Is that what they call, sreb, in Melbourne? FMD!
Did you mean riff raff? 😉
You’ve got as many stage names as, Barry Humphries, ToMMie, and they’re just as fkn corny … 🙄
… here’s a hint, Barry, is retiring (supposedly) … now why do I think I’ll get an opportunity to call him Barry Farnham in the not too distant future? 🙂
Climate Change is a global scam designed to surreptitiously impose a global Communist Government!
Just saying.
Squirt, squirt…
Just sayin’
Climate Change is a global scam designed to surreptitiously impose a global Communist Government!
What century do you live in?
Just askin'
Fuck me was that just an earthquake wot I felt….?
Yep. 😯
BREAKING NEWS!!!!
TONY ABBOTT SAYS CARBON TAX CAUSED MELBOURNE EARTHQUAKE…!!!
I knew it!
Fuck me that was a bit spooky though…..
Yeah. I’m pretty high up, and wasn’t sure if my building was gonna come crashing down, so went down to ground level to see if the ground was shaking outside (to make sure it wasn’t some kind of drug/alcohol induced “episode”. 😉 ).
(Last time I experienced an earthquake I was playing pool in Barney’s Beanery, Los Angeles.)
“make sure it wasn’t some kind of drug/alcohol induced “episode”.
That was my first reaction too! I just sat in front of the telly saying nothing..until I realised “it wasn’t just me..”
A 20 second earth tremor in Melbourne saw people run into the streets. The editor of Daily Trash, a recent immigrant from Taswegia, said ‘fuck me that was a bit spooky.’
El gordo nails it in two sentences. Give that man a job!
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!
5.2 earthquake rocks Victoria
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/strong-tremors-rock-victoria/story-fn7x8me2-1226401623358
http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Quakes/usb000ajek.html#earthquake
We could’ve been all killed…..!
Who then would save democracy….?
Who then would carry this heavy burden…??
Jeebus hates Victoria.
Pastor Danny said it’s because we are paving the way for teh homoids to live in manlove with each-evil-other.
That’s also (obviously) why Teh Creatooooor sent the bushfires…..it was a sign!
It was centered around some half arsed joint called Moë?
My god groceries were thrown into the aisles, gay blog masters were stunned, Possums paused doing their nocturnal stuff in ceilings, budgies fell off their perches, tv sets moved, neighbors met for the first time. Sky news trying to make this stretch out so I won’t switch to the delicious Emma A.
I bet Here comes a fucking earthquake levy !
Tsunami warning for downtown Moe. 😯
Did the tsunami get em all tj ?
Where did everyone go ?
No, this is not what we wanted.
Yes, this is all that we’ve got.
Listen to the streets in this town
and you’ll hear a plea for dignity in a life without.
It’s near midnight on Saturday Night.
These sad clowns will chatter till Sunday morning light.
We’re common. We’re desperate..
We’ll do this our own way.
We grew up strong in these humble streets.
We worked all week and we’re drinking tonight.
There’s no end in sight in these humble streets.
Methamphetamine still rampant.
Churches and bars are full but the library is vacant.
Baby faced veterans and factory men
singing the same jukebox songs with bottles stuck to their lips.
So many children raised on welfare and T.V.
It’s easy to see how the circle remains unbroken.
And I am one of the lucky ones…
We’re common. We’re desperate.
We’ll do this our own way.
We grew up proud in these humble streets.
We can work every day. Watch T.V. every night.
There’s no end in sight in these humble streets.
But I’m just singing my cheap white boy blues.
When I get back home I’ll be drinking right next to you.
We’re Common. We’re Desperate.
I’ll do this my own way.
Wherever I may roam this is where I remain.
And I belong to these humble streets.
Where the fuck is moe ?
Near Larry and curly ?
Moe is like the Bogan heartland. Respect.
It’s the carbon tax you know ….
“Respect” ?
Is that where the minister for respect resides ?
Do you still have one ?
People terrified in moe.
I’m still hanging out for emma
Oooops
Bad choice of words ” hanging out for Emma”
Are we meant to read that
crappoem? (Probably the “lyrics” of one of toiletboss’s favouriteincomprehensible guttural screaming repulsivebands.Fark
I couldn’t stand the interviews on sky with the moe bogland. I had to switch over early to the fucking Tuesday book club
Fark me
Can Gina turn her attentions to the abc next.
They are talking foot fetishes.
Snooze time at this rate
Where the dark is Emma ?
I think tj is on a bender. Or at best the end of one
Talking sex with horses on abc
Much laughter
Jaws, if you’re waiting for Emma then you’ve probably got in the background a group of old, ugly, overweight, unattractive people discussing their self-professed sexual addiction, and various kinds of literary eroticism.
Ewwwww!
😯
You are correct ToSY
These people are fucking ghastly
Is this an outside broadcast from Moe ?
I thought Jennifer Byrne was a bit above this crap.
Oh I forgot the 60 minutes stopover.
But Denton is better than this shit
guttural like a boss…
I’m no fan of Denton. A self-promoting, self-satisfied, self-righteous tnuc, IMO.
Oh she’s on looking absolutely …… Not as good as last night but ok
“Sigh”
hahahahaha…you plasticheads watch teh abc….
“IMO”
ya’know what they say about them…
Damn. I been caught out.
(David Maher is Freekin out. Luvvit!)
“A self-promoting, self-satisfied, self-righteous tnuc,”
Warnie’s pokerthon?
Very interesting. Lang Hancock owned a Sunday newspaper. Geoffrey Blamey says the Sunday Times in London was once owned by an Australian female mining magnate, and David Syme was a gold miner. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
*Blainey
Lang’s newspaper ?
Is that the one Maxwell Newtown used to be editor of ?
No relation to Bert
Who is the hot brunette chick at the G20 ?
The south americanlooking one ?
Oh fuck Manne is on …zzzzz
‘PETER KENNEDY: The Independent was set up in 1969 as a Sunday paper by Lang Hancock and Peter Wright and it was essentially set up under the editorship of Maxwell Newton, who’d edited the Financial Review and The Australian.
‘It was set up essentially because Lang Hancock felt he wasn’t getting his point of view across, particularly in Western Australia. He was at odds with Sir Charles Court, who was minister for industrial development. He didn’t think he was getting a good enough run in the local press and so he thought he’d start his own paper.’
http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2012/s3420799.htm
Robert Manne is shocked – shocked – by “right-wing reactionaries” (Murdoch and Reinhardt) (potentially) controlling Australia’s newspapers.
L. O. L.
They just acknowledged that people under 40 don’t read or buy newspapers.
Now Manne asserts that Gina is a threat to democracy.
Fuck he’s an idiof
That’s their only defence. Oh, the
humanitydemocracy.Thanks ToSY
Was newton a semi permanent on Frost over Australia ?
Or something like that ?
Can’t quite recall
Very late 70s or early 80s
I didn’t know newton ran the oz or afr ….
Wow
Spain right on the verge of disaster tonight. Can’t raise funds on bond market.
It’s the fucking karma from holding bullfights
The fucking primitives
The future of espionage is to be a fly on the wall.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2161647/Is-really-just-fly-Swarms-cyborg-insect-drones-future-military-surveillance.html
I remember seeing Max Newton and John Singleton chatting on TV back in the mists of time. They both looked pissed – something like Derek and Clive.
Assange sees asylum in Ecuador!
That’s nice. I’m sure he’ll find the welcome friendlier than in USA or Sweden. Ecuador is more civilised.
And they have a laxer concept of “rape”.
And a laxer concept of extraordinary rendition…
They could make a movie out of this.
I’m all for anything, like Wikileaks, that exposes the secret machinations of governments. There are very few things in peacetime that can justifiably be kept secret from the people. Why should a self-governing democracy have agencies that keep information from the very people they are there to serve and who allow them to exist?
All of that doesn’t mean I don’t think Julian Assange is a self-important wanker.
You blokes just don’t get the concept of right wing propaganda (or ANY political propaganda) … sadly lacking in lessons of history …
Some of us prefer reasoned debate based upon good investigative journalism …
There is a democratisation of information through the interwebies…death to the msm.
The science is settled: FBI violent-crime rates show safer nation with more gun owners
What can I say, ToSY?
I’d just be repeating (‘scuse the pun) myself … thanks for providing the statistical evidence for my anecdotal observations about our INCREASED weapons related crime rate across Australia … the cops can’t be everywhere and the crims know that …
As I said even fkn paintball weapons are banned … I played paintball a couple of years ago and took six hits … I’m still here …
What a nation of precious pansies we’ve become …
Yeah, I know TB. But to me it’s primarily a matter of freedom. If crime stats are lower as a result of more relaxed gun laws then that’s an added side benefit in my book. And I condemn John Howard for what he did. Liberal? Don’t make me laugh. That was an action any big-government nanny-stater would be proud of.
(What is it with this trashy new paper? It keeps chewing up older comments.)
the comment thing should be fixed now…
“What a nation of precious pansies we’ve become ..”
Speak for yourself, polyester princess…
I dunno, as someone who can’t fight his way out of a paper bag, I reckon if I owned a gun I might have used it once or twice. I’m not a fan of gun ownership.
Interesting anecdote……
Some 20 years ago a mate and I used to head up to the snow in his Dad’s old Range Rover. To save on accomodation we’d sleep in the back of the Range in a back street in Mansfield. One night a fair sized gang of drunks happened upon us “poofters’ and decided to make an issue of it. It was getting pretty serious and there was little doubt in my mind that we were going to cop a fair old beating.
Next thing my mate pulls a .22 out from under the front seat and points it….”FUCK OFF, I MEAN IT!” “SHIT, HE’S GOTTA GUN!!” And they scattered. It was the hardest I have ever laughed although we were pretty quick to make our exit outta there.
That’s a very compelling argument for gun ownership, James. Having a gun saved your skin and reduced the crime rate.
Well it’s an example, Tony. I’m not sure it’s a compelling argument. I doubt all the good guys will rush out and buy guns if they’re legal but I’d bet all the bad guys will. I doubt the firepower will be tipped in the good guys favour, although it was on that occasion.
Holy crap…has the Earthquake jolted us into the twilight zone!? 😯
I find myself strongly agreeing with Tony @ 10:20am, and then James @ 2:43pm.
“What a nation of precious pansies we’ve become …”
Conversely, I’m inclined to think that a pansy is someone who thinks that they need a firearm to ‘feel’ safe.
I don’t want a gun to feel safe. I’ve owned guns before, but don’t now. I don’t particularly even want a gun. What I do want is to be free to own one.
My comment was more relevant to teebeez pansy exhortation, Tony.
😉
I want to be free to be free of rampant gun ownership amongst the less than self controlled majority. 🙂
If it’s a simple question of liberty, where do you draw the line? Should we all be free to collect land mines & rocket launchers?
If in doubt I think we should err on the side of more freedom, not less, even if there are (perceived) risks involved.
And fuck the moronic
majminority. Imbeciles shouldn’t be the standard for law-making.From these cold hands………………
Well OK………………now rather boney…………….!
‘Should we all be free to collect land mines & rocket launchers?’
Yes.
Hmmm, you have more faith in humanity than I do, it would seem!
I do agree that imbeciles shouldn’t benchmark the rest of us, but, in my eyes, lethal force is lethal force.
‘in my eyes, lethal force is lethal force.’
It’s only lethal if you use it, and using it is illegal under most circumstances. We already had laws regulating gun use. Prohibition was superflous and penalised law-abiding citizens.
*superfluous
Imbeciles shouldn’t be the standard for law-making.
But they are. If it wasn’t for imbeciles, we wouldn’t need ANY laws.
One man’s imbecile is another man’s convenient justification!
‘But they are. If it wasn’t for imbeciles, we wouldn’t need ANY laws.’
You sure about that?
Hey, I’ve got a carbon complaint. is there a thread for that?
I could swear my building hasn’t stopped shaking. 😯
“I’ve got a carbon complaint. is there a thread for that?”
no.
LOL. El gordo won’t like it.
Conversely, I’m inclined to think that a pansy is someone who thinks that they need a firearm to ‘feel’ safe.
You’ve obviously never lived in PNG and seen the effects … nor been confronted here in Oz … three months after returning from PNG …
I must say if you own a weapon you MUST be b prepared to use it … or it may be used agin ya!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Speak for yourself, polyester princess…
Whoo … you are bitchy tonight! Like a bird in cage … you are!
(“They could make a movie out of this.”…
“The cities grew at a fabulous pace, some of them doubling in size every decade. By the 1920 census, the urban and rural populations were equal in size, but the rural share would continue to drop for the rest of the twentieth century. Cities became the location of most of American life: politically, culturally, financially, and economically, the action moved from the bucolic countryside to the crowded, filthy city streets.”)
We don’t live in PNG though, TB.
I accept that it may be more of a necessity there.
I have been confronted here on occasion, certainly.
I agree with this…”I must say if you own a weapon you MUST be b prepared to use it … or it may be used agin ya!”…& that’s part of the reason why I’m glad that the population isn’t armed.
BREAKING NEWS!!!!
New study confirms that non-drinkers have significantly shorter life spans.
http://www.mnn.com/food/beverages/stories/study-abstaining-from-alcohol-significantly-shortens-life
Four Positions Obama Supporters Attribute to the President That He Doesn’t Actually Hold:
4. Barack Obama’s foreign policy is not as destructive as George W. Bush’s was (or Mitt Romney’s would be).
3. Barack Obama’s immigration policies are compassionate and humane.
2. Obama’s support for gay marriage is groundbreaking.
1. Barack Obama will end the war on drugs, eventually.
‘UP to 75 asylum seekers may be dead and 40 others are clinging to the hull of an upturned boat, which has capsized in Indonesian waters.’
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/national/an-asylum-seeker-boat-has-capsized-north-of-christmas-island/story-e6freuzr-1226404645552
‘Nondrinkers have been shown to demonstrate greater signs of depression than their carousing counterparts…’
Yeah, tru dat.
ToSY
It’s far too early to talk about the causes of that topic.
Oh……..Emma is on
“Sigh”
Emma is lovely…best anchor in years.
She reminds me of Emma Thompson actually.
Not sure why
What is that thing around her neck?
Surely my 40c per day buys more than a twisted dish washing towel
Just thought l’d let you lot know, Snacty is over worshiping at the shrine’s of Akerman and Bolt. He will probably be more ‘cosy’ over there with his own kind, in a cotton-wool environment, where ‘rabid’ lefty’s comments don’t see the light of day. But that’s OK, he was never really cut out for robust debate anyway. All we can do is wish him well from our ‘gloves-off’ soap box and hope like hell Tony hasn’t suffered the same fate.
It seems that Gillard has again been caught out telling porkies. She seems to be hooked on lying, an affliction that she’s demonstrably had for a couple of decades.
Incompetent and dishonest, that will be Gillard’s legacy.
”LAW firm Slater & Gordon has contradicted Julia Gillard’s claim that she was not in charge of legal work for the purchase in 1993 of a Fitzroy property later found to have been bought with stolen union money.
Ms Gillard – a former salaried partner with the firm – last week denied responsibility for conveyancing work on the purchase of the Kerr Street unit by a crony of her disgraced former boyfriend Bruce Wilson.
”I was not in charge of the conveyancing file,” she told journalists during a visit to Laos.
But Slater & Gordon managing director Andrew Grech has confirmed Ms Gillard ”acted directly” in the conveyancing work on the property purchase”
Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/political-news/lawyers-contradict-pms-claim-20121112-298es.html#ixzz2C3ArRpbG
He will probably be more ‘cosy’ over there with his own kind
James Farnham … pity, he could have been good with some new lyrics …