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Hokey Pokey Senator Busted for Shoplifting Again!

June 22, 2012

Senator Fisher’s “Hokey Pokey-Time Warp” Medley

Colourful South Australian Liberal Senator Mary Jo Fisher has announced her shock resignation from Parliament after being reported for shoplifting for a second time.

Senator Fisher, 49, who faced court on a shoplifting charge last year, has announced she will resign from the Senate on August 10.

The latest shoplifting incident occurred at the Coles supermarket at “West Lakes” on Saturday afternoon and involved the alleged theft of goods valued at $60.40.

SA Police confirmed “that a 49-year-old woman has been reported for shop-lifting from a supermarket at West Lakes following an incident around 5.30 P.M. on Saturday, June 16”.

Police said security staff had “found goods in the woman’s personal bags that had not been paid for.”

In her defence, the controversial Senator said the she was having a “panic attack.”

The senator who was cleared of last year’s shoplifting charge but found guilty of a minor assault says she has been “persecuted by SA Police” ever since the first shoplifting incident.

“My faltering recovery was exacerbated by repeated pressures from dogged, calculated and deliberate attempts by the police prosecution service to do everything possible to increase the length, complexity, cost and emotional turmoil both of my recent and extended trial, and the subsequent and continuing post-trial cost processes.”

Senator Fisher said she was resigning “on medical advice and after experiencing a further panic attack, similar but less severe than the one which caused such grief 18 months ago.”

The outgoing Senator will be remembered for his bizarre “Hokey Pokey-Time Warp” medley performance.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. JAWS permalink
    June 22, 2012 9:59 am

    She’s done the right thing. Clearly her illness has gotten the better of her. If I recall correctly Governor General Bill Hayden’s wife was prone to “light fingered” attacks whilst suffering a similar affliction

  2. Tony permalink
    June 22, 2012 10:01 am

    “On medical advice”. Yeah, she’s been diagnosed with kleptomania.

  3. June 22, 2012 10:09 am

    What is it with the right & violence petty theft?! 😯

  4. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    June 22, 2012 10:25 am

    She was odd, and I don’t know that that’s a condition that can be medically diagnosed.

    Personally, I think all candidates for parliamentary office should have to do some of the psych testing that applies in management recruitment, and it should be publicly available. We don’t need parliament to be overloaded with additional odd balls.

  5. June 22, 2012 11:45 am

    In future this will be know in legal circles as the ‘Fisher Defence’: “I was having a panic attack”. It will be most useful in defending oneself against shoplifting and assaulting security guards or police. Please note that a doctor’s certificate may be required. And a word of caution, this defence has not yet been tested against capital crimes such as murder, and you may very well be on shaky ground there.
    The Fisher Defence will go into the legal annals alongside the ‘Bond Defence’: ‘I can’t recall’.

  6. November 15, 2012 9:08 am

    We don’t need parliament to be overloaded with additional odd balls.
    Too Late!

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