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Wayne Swan: Born to Run (for PM)

August 1, 2012

Wayne Swan shows who’s really “the Boss”

Following on from the extraordinary performance by former Gillard “shag muffin” Craig “Skyhooks” Emerson, disturbing new footage of the World’s Luckiest Greatest Treasurer has emerged showing Wayne Swan relaxing at home dressed as a “middle class headbanger” in blue denim jeans and black t-shirt talking about his admiration for American singer /songwriter Bruce Springsteen.

It’s a strange peculiarity that these days politicians are not simply content to develop, discuss and debate policy, but feel that somehow we deserve some insight into what makes them tick. A proclivity which is clearly misguided.

As if we needed any further evidence that Wayne Swan has the personality of poached cabbage.

Nevertheless he’s ditched it up in his neatly pressed denim jeans.

I bet they’re from Lowes.

The timing itself is interesting.  “At Home with Wayne Swan” as it could have been called, seems like a desperate but genuine effort to give Wayne a bit of “street cred” and people appeal.

Philip Ruddock once tried the same thing when he was Immigration Minister during the Howard years with a front cover article and exclusive interview on Fairfax’s “Good Weekend” Magazine.

Ruddock, who at the time was managing the Howard government’s controversial handling of asylum seekers, told Good Weekend that he actually had “quite a good sense of humor.”

Naturally few were convinced.

The “Getting to know Wayne” video is a similarly shoddy effort.

Curiously enough surfacing as rumours emanate from Canberra that Wayne may be interested in putting his hat into the Leadership ring should Gillard be given the nudge before Christmas.

Blubbering bafoon big Joe Hockey has seized on the video, lampooning Wayne’s bizarre admission that the music of Wayne Swan underpins his economic policy.

I guess Joe must’ve forgotten the time when he appeared on national television dressed in a pink tutu singing “Dancing Queen”.

This being the pinnacle of the state of politics in Australia.

Clearly, we are all doomed.


30 Comments leave one →
  1. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 1, 2012 3:58 pm

    Like most politicians, Wayne Swan was born to run. Sadly he appears to be completely lacking any other attributes that might enable him to serve the people of Australia. It is a sad reflection on Australian politics that this ignorant buffoon has ascended to high office. And it is even sadder that his likely replacement doesn’t look like much of an improvement.

    It makes you yearn for the glory days of Downer’s fishnets. He looked so hot in them.

  2. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 1, 2012 4:13 pm

    Pop star politicians!

    Emerson, Lake and Palmer Swan and Garrett! That’s just what we need, the distraction of a song and dance team.

  3. JAWS permalink
    August 1, 2012 4:40 pm

    Is this a music thread ?

  4. JAWS permalink
    August 1, 2012 4:42 pm

    Swan’s gunna dedicate this to Gina tonight………….

  5. August 1, 2012 5:39 pm

    Real metalheads object to both Wayne Swan & Bruce Wanksteen being portrayed as belonging under their banner! 😯

    I can’t picture either of them looking comfortable in a Slayer T-shirt…& their idea of ‘heavy’ is probably Nickelback, blink-182 or AC-DC. [vomit]

  6. August 1, 2012 5:43 pm

    You should watch the video Boss… I got half way through, but found I couldn’t stomach it any further when Wayne put his daughter up to saying what a top bloke he is….

  7. August 1, 2012 5:53 pm

    He’s too short to be a top bloke!

  8. TB Queensland permalink
    August 1, 2012 5:54 pm

    What fkn video? I can’t get past the paywall you WKP!

    Anyway they are not Lowes jeans way too expensive looking and that belt is definitely Spanish leather …

    BTW, I’ve met Wayne* more that twice 😉 and he is a very genuine and noice fella … I’ve also met Paul Keating …

    PJK … struck me as an extraordinary person and someone who knew how to develop Australia …

    He was a regular guest at my mother’s club … she was el Presidento for over a decade … 🙄

  9. TB Queensland permalink
    August 1, 2012 5:56 pm

    He’s too short to be a top bloke!

    Too short! He’s taller than me … you Fuckwit™ … I thought you were a fan of, Tyrion?

  10. TB Queensland permalink
    August 1, 2012 5:58 pm

    For the uninitiated … Tyrion Lannister from the HBO hit series Game of Thrones …

  11. August 1, 2012 6:00 pm

    How amusement is that? It wasn’t behind a paywall this morning…

    It must’ve been all that traffic they were getting from TDT that prompted them to change it*

    *sarcasm alert

  12. August 1, 2012 6:02 pm

    Here’s another source…

  13. el gordo permalink
    August 1, 2012 6:05 pm

    ‘I’ve also met Paul Keating …’

    Me too, I think, at the Top Cat Club in Bankstown when he was manager of the Ramrods.

  14. TB Queensland permalink
    August 1, 2012 6:05 pm

    Also for the uninitiated … sreb, is a Wealth Krazed Prick (ie WKP)!

    How else could he continue with his claptrap on The Daily Trash et al … apart from the contributors of course … but just think of the money he makes from sponsorships! Another Wannabe Robber Baron!

    Just awful!

  15. TB Queensland permalink
    August 1, 2012 6:11 pm

    Here’s another source… Of what? Soy? Worcestshire? HP? WTF?

    Me too, I think, at the Top Cat Club in Bankstown …

    Significance? … silly bugger! Oh … funny … 🙄

  16. August 1, 2012 6:16 pm

    TB, I bought a bottle of HP sauce the other day.

    I’m paying it off at 20 pence a week for the next six months.

    (An old Tommy Cooper joke)


  17. August 1, 2012 6:21 pm

    “just think of the money he makes from sponsorships! ”

    I know. You wouldn’t believe the sponsorship deals I have to knock back just to maintain our editorial independence.

    We’re very popular in the corporate world. Heck we’re practically the Nick D’Arcy of the blogosphere…!

  18. Tony permalink
    August 1, 2012 6:27 pm

    I really don’t get the “humour” here sometimes. 🙄 😉

  19. Tom R permalink
    August 1, 2012 6:39 pm

    Emerson found the only way to cut past the blockade of media indifference was to sing a very badly out of tune national trreasure.

    Swan appears to have thought the same thing. He should have known though that just calling the Billionaire Clive a Billionaire Clive will do that for him.

    How some media can churn this into another leadershit story is just beyond belief (oops, forgot, newspollweek)

  20. August 1, 2012 6:42 pm

    ” I thought you were a fan of, Tyrion?”

    Sorry, Tyrionofqld, I had no idea you were vertically challenged. 😯 🙂

  21. TB Queensland permalink
    August 1, 2012 7:17 pm

    An old Tommy Cooper joke</i

    Ma hero!

    Sorry, Tyrionofqld, I had no idea you were vertically challenged.


    I know, Toillette, you thought I was ten foot tall, I know! But remember – as my 5’2″ training sergeant told me, ” Let the big buggers go first, recruit TB, they always cop it …” … although our last VC winner defeats that argument!

    Yeah, HD, I’m 5’7″ but its funny when you’re a manager and a six foot giant towers over you on night shift and your say, ” Do that again ./.. and you gone! OK!” … and the reply is, “Yes, boss, sorry, boss …” … and I just feel sorry for the poor sod!

    And finally, one should NEVER ASSUME! Basic shit! OK! 😆


    I really don’t get the “humour” here sometimes.

    Mate, I’ve noticed that, so many times … if you need an explanation of what’s going on … I’m sure ToM or Wally will be only too willing … now sarcasm and irony are alittle complex … more in,sreb’s field and to a lesser extent, James (sorry I couldn’t help myself …giggle 😛 )

  22. August 1, 2012 7:32 pm

    One day, us talls are gonna round up & execute all of the short, left handed scum. Especially the ones with red hair & pigeon toes or an undershot jaw.

  23. August 1, 2012 7:39 pm

    Yay to the Baby Boomers! Still rockin!

  24. SMS permalink
    August 1, 2012 7:46 pm

    “Sorry, Tyrionofqld, I had no idea you were vertically challenged.”

    If I were a sniping bastard I’d probably say something like: Small man’s syndrome – explains a lot.

    But I’m not, so I won’t. 😉

  25. JAWS permalink
    August 1, 2012 11:39 pm

    How come gutless Swan always avoids slamming Jamie Packer who is currently trying to influence Federal gambling policy and Sydney’s casino policy

    Swans an idiot

  26. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 6, 2012 10:33 pm

    Wayne may have been inspired by Bruce, I prefer Shirley and Balwyn…

  27. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 6, 2012 10:42 pm

    And while I’m at it… young people have no taste.

  28. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 6, 2012 10:51 pm

    And just finally…I’m not intending to post 30 of these until 6am, unlike a former contributor!


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