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Choose Life

August 30, 2012
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that?
39 Comments leave one →
  1. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 30, 2012 1:12 pm

    Choose good red. Choose lots of leisure.

  2. August 30, 2012 2:35 pm

    I love Trainspotting!

  3. August 30, 2012 4:36 pm

    I’m reading it at the moment Tolietboss (in case you hadn’t guessed) πŸ˜‰

    That opening rant from Renton is a classic.

  4. August 30, 2012 5:06 pm

    Begbie (sic…?) is BOSS!

  5. August 30, 2012 5:30 pm

    Can’t resist…

  6. August 30, 2012 5:36 pm

    And of course…

  7. August 30, 2012 5:38 pm

    Followed admirably by…

  8. August 30, 2012 7:53 pm

    Ah think ah’ll huf tae get rat filum oot agen boss.

  9. August 30, 2012 8:03 pm

    Choose cheap tropical holidays in the sun.

    Choose jungle treks, meeting the locals and eating local food.

    Choose dumping pretences of cultural or intellectual superiority.

    Choose cheap cocktails and reading a good book by the pool.

    Choose $2 hip flasks of vodka and $2 packets of smokes.

  10. TB Queensland permalink
    August 30, 2012 8:29 pm

    Choose cold wet windy holidays with two headed natives …

    *****quintuple sarc, satire, irony, Liberal Party BS, adult humour alert πŸ˜›

  11. TB Queensland permalink
    August 30, 2012 8:31 pm

    Speaking of vodka – πŸ˜‰

    I had a really noice cab sav on Tuesday … 2005 Inheritance (I have no idea how it slipped under the radar for 7 years) but it certainly made a difference … tasted like an $8 bottle …

  12. August 30, 2012 8:35 pm

    Fermented potato juice is BOSS!

    It never fails to exact the desired result!

  13. August 30, 2012 8:36 pm

    The Acid House is a fillum too, reb. Also good (if, like me, you are partial to that kind of demystifying spectacle).

  14. Name required permalink
    August 30, 2012 8:49 pm

    Choose Bison Grass.

  15. August 30, 2012 8:53 pm

    Choose, miaow-miaow…or not!

  16. August 30, 2012 8:56 pm

    If you’re putting hard currency on it, don’t choose the handbagz or collingwood. Get on the Crows, Hawthorn or Geelong. North Melbourne a darkhorse, possibly best value for $.

  17. August 30, 2012 11:58 pm

    Ooh, i haven’t seen The Acid House Boss. I’ll put in on my ‘get this out next time’ list…

  18. Ol' Sancty permalink
    August 31, 2012 9:38 am

    Toilet, it is the Cats who are the handbags, the Crows who haven’t earned the right.

    Get on the Bloods, Reb.

  19. August 31, 2012 9:54 am

    The Crows mustn’t have beaten the handbagz in Sydney earlier this year? I must have imagined it.
    In fact, out of 14 games since 2002 between the two sides, the Crows have won 12 to the handbagz paltry 2! πŸ˜† Hopefully, after losing to the Cats in Geelong tomorrow, the handbagz will find themselves a rung or two down the ladder & facing a first final in Adelaide where they can continue their dismal run of failures against the Crows!

  20. August 31, 2012 9:55 am

    GO CATS!!!

  21. Ol' Sancty permalink
    August 31, 2012 10:37 am

    The Bloods will make the Crows our biatchez!!

  22. August 31, 2012 10:50 am

    I hope they get a chance to try! πŸ™‚

    Big weekend of results coming up.

    I should probably shut my wordhole, I may be setting myself up for a large portion of humble pie!
    But seriously, I reckon Hawthorn are the team to beat. The Crows, West Coast, Sydney & Geelong can’t be discounted if they are in form. Collingwood look neutered, but are a chance of coming good & therefore dangerous.
    Freo & North look a bit like also-rans, but are capable of upsets, I guess.

    So, in summary…Adelaide Premiers 2012!!!

    Richmond are…errr, oh wait.

  23. TB Queensland permalink
    August 31, 2012 11:00 am

    Big week for THE BRONCOS!

  24. August 31, 2012 11:04 am

    I’d just like to say that they’ll lose, TB. They’re not much chop. They are a blight on your state.

  25. August 31, 2012 11:06 am

    From the mouth/keyboard/mind of Dale Lewis, former handbagz journeyman…

  26. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 31, 2012 12:15 pm

    Go Newtown!

    Go Fitzroy!!

  27. Ol' Sancty permalink
    August 31, 2012 12:27 pm

    To be honest, I don’t know what to make of Adelaide. Maybe it’s a vibe but I feel as though their talent is pretty stacked up one end. The old “bottom six argument”.

    ALL of the sides have their problems going in, Sydney have an injury cloud over Sam Reid. We can’t win without him.

    Hawthorn have a problem in the ruck. Collingwood the forward line. Geelong have to win too many finals.

    Same with West Coast.

    West Coast win tonight and the cat is thrown amongst the pigeons.

  28. August 31, 2012 12:38 pm

    Crows defence ain’t so bad. Talia looks like the Rising Star, Sam Shaw was nominated a fortnight ago too, so he’s not too shabby. Rutten is a rock (an old one, admittedly). Would look a lot better if Bock & Davis hadn’t whored off to expansion teams though!

    I think it’s maybe a year early for Adelaide, but they’re definitely in their with a chance at this point.
    Whatever eventuates, I hope an interstate team wins.

    Couple of Crows are Brownlow chances too. The team has had a better year than most would’ve anticipated; myself included.

  29. TB Queensland permalink
    August 31, 2012 12:39 pm

    Many thanks, HD .. speaking of pox blight, do you ever look at your gravatar? πŸ˜†

  30. Ol' Sancty permalink
    August 31, 2012 12:41 pm

    Bottom six, Toilet, not back six.

  31. August 31, 2012 12:41 pm

    Hehe, yes, it’s the man-ape from the album cover of Cattle Decapitation’s latest opus!

    Pretty cool, huh!

  32. August 31, 2012 12:45 pm

    Ah, righto snacty. I see.

    I think that may be because some of the lesser knowns don’t get much coverage in the Vic sporting press. Come to think of it, the Vic press don’t mention the whole club much at all.
    Personally, I’d say that this is probably the deepest & strongest Crows team for many years. There aren’t many passengers at all & there is plenty of talent waiting in the SANFL, keeping pressure on the selected side.

    Unless you watch every Crows match (I doubt it, πŸ™‚ ) then most people are probably unfamiliar with a lot of the youngsters.

  33. TB Queensland permalink
    August 31, 2012 12:45 pm

    Bottom six, Toilet, not back six.

    Irony! πŸ˜›

  34. August 31, 2012 12:46 pm

    * their…d’oh!

  35. Ol' Sancty permalink
    August 31, 2012 1:27 pm

    Yep, fair enough, Toilet. I notice the same with the Swans. Year after year we’re predicted to fall out of the 8, and year after year at about this time the commentators are “surprised” at our “overachievement”.

    Not sure what the senile banana bender is on about???

  36. August 31, 2012 1:33 pm

    He smiled when he said it!

  37. Ol' Sancty permalink
    August 31, 2012 2:36 pm

    Is that a smile or some sort of weird cackle? I know it’s supposed to be funny, but I don’t know what he’s talking about?

  38. TB Queensland permalink
    August 31, 2012 3:08 pm

    I don’t know what he’s talking about?

    It just gets funnier! πŸ˜†

  39. August 31, 2012 3:14 pm

    Dammit, my link harvest of bornco failures doesn’t want to post!

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