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But Wait. A RANT!

September 6, 2012

Good afternoon.

I was just over at Ross Sharp’s place, and was reminded of the MINDLESS pseudo babble nonsense that is spreading like some sort of SICK DISEASE throughout corporate Australia with Ross’s latest post about workplace procedures.   No longer is it acceptable to just have a discussion about “doing things better,” no it is not.  Today, you’d need to schedule a meeting to “brainstorm” (whatever that is) “initiatives and procedures” for “business process re-engineering” and then develop and implement a detailed project plan specifying “deliverables” with “key milestones” along the “critical path.”

We encourage our employees to reach their full potential is probably the greatest lie in corporate culture, second only perhaps to “our people are our greatest asset.”


Much has been written this week about Australia’s First Lady Gina Rinehart.   Clearly misunderstood by her many critics, Gina actually has Australia’s best interests at heart.  Normally shy and unassuming, Gina has entered the world of PR with her very own YouTube Channel.

Presumably, Gina’s next foray will include some sort of premonition of her impending assassination akin to that legendary piece by Pauline Hanson.



In other news, Julia Gillard has managed to upset EVERYONE by first agreeing to attend an Australian Christian Lobby conference, and then subsequently cancelling her appearance after it was claimed (and repudiated) that Jim Wallace had claimed that homosexuality was as bad for your health as smoking.  Who knew.

And in other news, that “you lot” seem to have just completely overlooked, much to the displeasure of TB, legendary crooner Max Bygraves died this week aged 89.   He was best known for his song “You Need Hands” which is kind of self evident really.

25 Comments leave one →
  1. el gordo permalink
    September 6, 2012 5:04 pm



  2. JAWS permalink
    September 6, 2012 5:17 pm

    My policy at staff meetings was to conduct them without chairs.

    That got them over and done with real quick

  3. el gordo permalink
    September 6, 2012 6:57 pm

    Kev lacks the qualities we have come to expect from our leaders.

  4. Jargon generator permalink
    September 6, 2012 7:28 pm

    Introducing co-terminosity within zero defect groups should harmonise the budgetary interface with the tyranny of the urgent paradox.

  5. September 6, 2012 11:04 pm

    Who said the interwebs needed another post about Gina and fags?

  6. September 7, 2012 3:37 am

    What does the Trash think about this ?
    Shafted me real good.

  7. el gordo permalink
    September 7, 2012 7:39 am

    703…As Jaws eloquently stated elsewhere, Gina’s comments had nothing to do with reducing Australian living standards and everything to do with losing competitive edge on the world stage.

    And while you’re there, fracking in China may wipe out our coal and natural gas exports to the celestial kingdom within five years…if you fancy a serious chat.

    The left hates Gina with a vengeance, not because she looks like Jabba the Hutt, or her monstrous wealth potential, but simply because she is a tall poppy.

  8. el gordo permalink
    September 7, 2012 7:51 am

    The Rudd Push has adopted a better strategy, by attacking Labor’s enemies, which won’t get up joolya’s big nose.

    ‘Mr Rudd, known as Dr Death while a bureaucrat in Queensland because of his public sector job cuts, said Mr Newman may have been elected with a record majority but he had no mandate for the reported 20,000 jobs he planned to axe.’

    Read more:

  9. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 7, 2012 2:59 pm

    Option 1.
    During a meeting about some important business issues, it was agreed to “sack the lot of them”

    Option 2.
    I was invited to attend a vital summit, involving all our stakeholders. The summit’s dynamic agenda provided clear focus on the imperatives confronting the corporation’s customers and particularly shareholders and value. The CEO outlined our Mission Statement – PEOPLE ARE OUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET, and then provided details of the significant efforts made by the company to keep everyone safe in the workplace. The CEO recorded his gratitude to all employees for committing to the Mission Statement, and to Our Safety Program.

    With respect to the current commercial results, the CEO outlined a range of new initiatives designed specifically to streamline our customer service and provide more enriched jobs to many of Our People. In this respect the company announced a new partnership with Ukraine Telephone and Business Services, which is based in Manila.

    Our New Partner will provide a range of customer services and streamline our processes. As a consequence, we will provide a range of new and challenging opportunities, outside the company, for people that have worked with us up until now. We wish them all the best in their future endeavours.

  10. September 7, 2012 3:55 pm

    Oh Tom, anyone might think you’re a cynic…. 😉

  11. September 7, 2012 4:08 pm

    “Our New Partner”


  12. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 7, 2012 6:23 pm

    Qantas will do well with the new partnership.

    It’s now well positioned for reinvigoration, next it will move a few aircraft maintenance activities offshore. The dead hand of unions will be the cause of that.

  13. September 7, 2012 6:37 pm

    There are construction workers at my work, building the new co-gen plant & HRSG. Presumably they are a different division of the CFMEU. We aren’t even allowed to speak to them. Prickly bastards.

  14. September 7, 2012 11:04 pm

    Tom-Melb “Option 2”
    giggle ..
    I am so glad that `option-2` is very different to `option-1`

  15. September 7, 2012 11:07 pm

    Dunny “..CFMEU. We aren’t even allowed to speak to them. ..”
    What makes you think they want you to speak to them Dunny?

  16. September 7, 2012 11:11 pm

    Hey Gordo, just heard on TV news-break, 3000 jobs to be axed in Queensland health.

  17. el gordo permalink
    September 8, 2012 8:09 am

    ‘…3000 jobs to be axed in Queensland health.’

    I live in NSW and Barry hasn’t been that ruthless.

  18. public toilet permalink
    September 8, 2012 8:18 am

    Apparently they don’t want us speaking to them, reportland.

    Seems a bit unnecessarily divisive to me. I’m a member of the same parent union (cfmeu) & at the end of the day, given that we are all just humans temporarily inhabiting the same space with a common goal, civility doesn’t appear to be a bad thing to strive for.

    They give the impression that they think they’re a cut above; who knows why. They’re only glorified builders ffs.

  19. el gordo permalink
    September 8, 2012 8:33 am

    Since the downturn…Andrew Forrest is losing personal wealth at the rate of $150 million a day.

    Read more:

  20. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 8, 2012 8:58 am

    Development and overhaul of manufacturing has long been a flash point for union activity, so good luck HD!
    I caught a taxi this morning (to the airport for a few days leisure and a little work). The driver was an ardent ALP barracker, and spent the entire journey telling me that Julia was wonderful, that bosses are bastards and most problems are Howards fault.

    Naturally I listened politiesly and mainly even agreed for the sake of harmony, and completing my journey (I fell that he may have pulled over if I had disagreed). But it did confirm my opinion that there should be an IQ test for voting.

  21. public toilet permalink
    September 8, 2012 10:42 am

    Bring in an IQ test & you’ll eradicate 2/3 of the voting base of social conservatism. Plenty of the ‘genuinely religious’ too.

  22. el gordo permalink
    September 8, 2012 10:49 am

    We could test a few theories if we did away with compulsory voting. The Greeks used to say… anyone who doesn’t vote is an idiot.

  23. September 8, 2012 1:55 pm

    Gordo “anyone who doesn’t vote is an idiot.”
    Bit of a catch 22 Gordo, when we vote, the choice is between idiots, either way we get one.

  24. el gordo permalink
    September 8, 2012 2:38 pm

    Politicians are generally pathetic, but in the local elections today I voted for a standup comic, a woman no less and terrifically funny.

    Life imitates art, so I voted 1 Rusty Nails.

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