Skip to content
Advertisements

Why I’m Going to Die Before You.

September 11, 2012

It’s not because I have some terminal illness or other debilitating condition that will lead to my premature demise.

No, according to the messengers from God, my impending death is due to my “homosexual lifestyle.”

Apparently, according to Jim Wallace of the Australian Christian Lobby, being a regular smoker is a healthier “lifestyle choice” than engaging in the salacious activity associated with “practicing homosexuals.”

Speaking at the University of Tasmania last week, Mr Wallace explained that homosexuals face a drastically reduced lifespan of some 20 years.

By all accounts this means I should already be dead.

“I think we’re going to owe smokers a big apology when the homosexual community’s own statistics for its health — which it presents when it wants more money for health — are that is has higher rates of drug-taking, of suicide, it has the life of a male reduced by up to 20 years,” he said.

“Smoking, by contrast, led to a reduced life expectancy of between seven and 10 years” he added.

The message here is clear, particularly to the youth of Australia who may be confused about heir sexual orientation and weighing up the pros and cons of the so called “homosexual lifestyle.” The next time you’re thinking about oral sex, spark up a Marlborough instead.  You’ll feel better, and what’s more you’ll live longer too.

Anglican Archbishop of Sydney Peter Jensen has joined the crusade for a “healthier Australia,” endorsing the idea that sticking a fag in your mouth is a healthier option than someone’s willie.

As a guest of the ABC’s Q&A program last night, Dr Jensen told viewers he supported the Australian Christian Lobby’s view first expressed by its leader Jim Wallace.

“Mr Wallace gave “us an opportunity to talk about something significant, namely the question of health risk,” said Dr Jensen.

“Mr Wallace made the comments in a debate last week where he compared smoking to same-sex marriage.”

“It’s very hard to get to the facts here because we don’t want to talk about it and in this country censorship is alive and well” he said.

”As far as I can see … the lifespan of practising gays is significantly shorter than the ordinary so-called heterosexual man…this seems to be the case.”

But what if you’re already a gay smoker?  What hope do they have…..??

😯

 

 

Advertisements
42 Comments leave one →
  1. September 11, 2012 9:55 am

    When I think about oral sex, I always light up a cigarette.

    I’ve got fuck all chance of getting any, so I may as well smoke.

  2. Tom R permalink
    September 11, 2012 10:01 am

    Here I was thinking it was because you were left-handed reb 😯

  3. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 11, 2012 10:21 am

    “sticking a fag in your mouth is a healthier option than someone’s willie”

    Tautology?

  4. public toilet permalink
    September 11, 2012 11:25 am

    That Jim Wallace, well known for all kinds of demented pronouncements made to support his skittish peculiarities, in the name of his imaginary god.

    I like it how he ‘speaks for all christians’ (which is a rather broad group)…with barely a whisper of dissent from most of them. There isn’t much public distancing from his backwardsarsed comments & opinions.

  5. September 11, 2012 1:28 pm

    I`m watching QandaLand, (Tue 12.30-1.30) for the 2nd time.
    Jensen just babbles nonsense, has no proper, direct answer to anything. What a waste of time he is on the show.

  6. September 11, 2012 1:34 pm

    “sticking a fag in your mouth ”
    *giggle* ironic

  7. September 11, 2012 4:36 pm

    Here in sunny blighty, we call a cigarette a fag, which as 730reportland says, is kind of ironic. Who is this Jim Wallace, he sounds like my stereotypical religious fanatic, who is quite content to warp any facts to fit his world view and then share his prejudices as though they had some basis in reality.
    When you look at the facts, 95% of christians are mentally retarded. I know this is true. I read it on the back of a fag packet.

  8. September 11, 2012 4:58 pm

    He’s right, you know!

  9. September 11, 2012 5:05 pm

    So instead of sucking on a fag, you really ought to suck on a fag.

  10. September 11, 2012 5:11 pm

    They can use statistics to prove just about anything…except the existence of their sky wizard.

    I think it’s amusing that the ACL is trying to bash gays by mounting a pseudo-serious medical argument against same sex marriage.

  11. TB Queensland permalink
    September 11, 2012 5:29 pm

    Repent all ye suckers!

    Jensen just babbles nonsense, has no proper, direct answer to anything. What a waste of time he is on the show.

    I remember using a similiar sentence to describe Pell the Profit, when he appeared (as if by magic!) on Q&A …

  12. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 11, 2012 5:31 pm

    “So instead of sucking on a fag, you really ought to suck on a fag.”

    Or you could just smoke cock!

  13. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 11, 2012 6:48 pm

    Bill Clinton had an interesting approach to use of tobacco products.

  14. September 11, 2012 6:57 pm

    snigger…

  15. September 11, 2012 9:15 pm

    this is so ridiculous… It’s just so wrong on so many levels… A monogamous relationship (no matter if heterosexual or gay) is in terms of sexually transmitted diseases the healthiest life style. So he should actually be very much in favor of gay mariagge!

  16. September 11, 2012 9:49 pm

    Indeed whatisitwithyourshoes.

  17. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 11, 2012 10:08 pm

    If god wanted us to be monogamous, he wouldn’t have invented alcohol.

  18. Sparta of Phoenix, AZ USA permalink
    September 12, 2012 6:03 am

    Well I can’t condone such language by this group; however as somebody in “medicine” I can assure you that homosexual activity does have more inherent risk but as others have pointed out, more so if we are not talking about a monogamous relationship. He is only getting through to his choir anyway so who gives a toss…

  19. September 12, 2012 7:51 am

    “I can assure you that homosexual activity does have more inherent risk”

    Such as….??

  20. September 12, 2012 8:10 am

    “Unhealthy’ gay lifestyle claims tied to bad study”

    Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/unhealthy-gay-lifestyle-claims-tied-to-bad-study-20120911-25qnd.html#ixzz26CZCRUc1

  21. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 12, 2012 9:41 am

    “If god wanted us to be monogamous, he wouldn’t have invented alcohol.”

    Indeed. Alcohol has a lot to answer for. (Personally, I think she is totally hot.)

  22. September 12, 2012 10:31 am

    l think it’s sick that the embedded media give Jensen + Wallace a platform to bash gays about gay-marriage, but are too timid to go the attack over `pedo`priests with these pricks.

  23. September 12, 2012 10:37 am

    TB “I remember using a similiar sentence to describe Pell ”
    *QandaLand*
    Great minds TB, Great minds. 🙂

  24. el gordo permalink
    September 12, 2012 11:03 am

    The kiss of death for a football career…

    ‘A concussion kept Jamie Kuntz from suiting up for his first American college football game.

    ‘A kiss from his much-older boyfriend at that game led the freshman linebacker to be kicked off the team, he says.

    ‘North Dakota State College of Sciences acknowledges Kuntz was disciplined by the team, but says it wasn’t because he is gay. Football coach Chuck Parsons told Kuntz in a letter that he was removed from the team for lying about the kiss.’

    Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/world/gay-us-footballer-says-kiss-got-him-sacked-20120912-25rhj.html#ixzz26DGYT4kP

  25. Sparta of Phoenix, AZ USA permalink
    September 12, 2012 12:07 pm

    “Such as….??”

    Well, there is a plethora of info out there as you know Reb. That is to say that medically speaking being a sexually active gay male alone puts you in higher risk category.

    http://www.cdc.gov/stdconference/2000/media/stdgay2000.htm

  26. September 12, 2012 12:34 pm

    Doesn’t them wanting to have a married, monogamous relationship preclude the risk then?
    Seems fairly obvious, in which case, if the ACL were genuinely concerned about the welfare of homosexuals they’d be advocating same sex marriage, instead of going all out to impede its inevitable triumph.

    Really, the ‘concern’ from Wallace about ‘health factors’ is just a whitewash. His bible tells him that icky gays are wrong, wrong, wrong & that’s how he derives his conclusions. The rest is window dressing.

  27. September 12, 2012 12:50 pm

    “Seems fairly obvious, in which case, if the ACL were genuinely concerned about the welfare of homosexuals they’d be advocating same sex marriage,”
    *
    Good point Dunny. But the fruitcakes following sky-fairies won`t even accept condoms. All the breed more followers ideals, l guess.

  28. el gordo permalink
    September 12, 2012 12:50 pm

    Shoes and toilet are on the money, a settled married existence with someone will not lead to a premature end….unless you are nagged to death.

    A Royal Commission held in the early 20th century (over concerns about the falling birth rate) discovered that bachelors died younger than married men.

    So I argue that in the 21st century bachelor types (known as ‘players’), regardless of sexual orientation, are courting trouble.

  29. September 12, 2012 4:57 pm

    “That is to say that medically speaking being a sexually active gay male alone puts you in higher risk category.”

    Perhaps, but what Wallace and Jensen were claiming is that it would significantly shorten your life expectancy, a claim which is utter bullshit.

  30. Sparta of Phoenix, AZ USA permalink
    September 12, 2012 10:53 pm

    “a claim which is utter bullshit”

    Like I implied earlier, a statement I would not condone…It is just prudent that homosexual men be aware of the increased risks, why they exist and take the proper precautions…This nut job is simply that…Their is no evidence medically, that I know of, that being homosexual in general shortens one’s life…Pure hyperbole…

  31. September 13, 2012 7:59 am

    “It is just prudent that homosexual men be aware of the increased risks”.

    I would argue that most homosexual men already are.

    It’s not whether you identify as gay, straight or bi that determines your exposure to “increased risks,” it’s the nature of the sexual behaviour that one engages in that exposes one to “increased risks.”

    I’ve been in a relationship with my same sex partner for 20 years. To suggest that I am somehow at an “increased risk” simply because I’m homosexual is clearly abject nonsense.

    In fact, the people who are at more at risk than me are people who identify as straight yet engage in risky behaviour with casual male partners or prostitutes.

    It’s the behaviour that determines risk – not the sexual identity/orientation of the individual.

  32. el gordo permalink
    September 13, 2012 8:13 am

    ‘It’s the behaviour that determines risk’

    Undoubtedly.

  33. Sparta of Phoenix, AZ USA permalink
    September 13, 2012 9:33 am

    “it’s the nature of the sexual behaviour that one engages in that exposes one to “increased risks.”

    I agree Reb…I am simply saying that in the “medical community” being a homosexual male infers risk or leads to concerns we might not necessarily consider otherwise. Much like saying if you are African American you are likely to die 7-10 years younger than whites so certain behaviors should be avoided…My apologies if I came across offensive…

    So if you come in to see you GP feeling sick he is likely to still treat you via a “different” algorithm then a hetero for instance…Not out of malice but because statistically it is good medical practice in taking care of you…

  34. September 13, 2012 10:07 am

    “My apologies if I came across offensive…”

    No offence taken Sparta…..

  35. Ol' Sancty permalink
    September 13, 2012 10:40 am

    But the fruitcakes following sky-fairies won`t even accept condoms.

    Wrong.

  36. September 13, 2012 5:53 pm

    “They lay a lot of the blame on the powerful Catholic Church, of which 80 per cent of the population are followers, for spreading a conservative message they say has led to a lack of understanding and tolerance about condoms.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-07-26/an-gay-sex-phils/4156658
    fruitcakes following sky-fairies won`t even accept condoms.

  37. September 13, 2012 6:58 pm

    Oh dear, snacty proven wrong again. Never mind…..

  38. September 14, 2012 11:02 am

    http://flourishandbloggs.com/2012/09/13/the-acls-persecution-complex-continued/
    Quite an amusing, short rant l thought `you-lot` might enjoy, reb.

  39. Ol' Sancty permalink
    September 14, 2012 1:54 pm

    Proven wrong my arse. You can’t very well advocate against anal sex then approve condoms for use during anal sex, can you? Do you reckon the gays in The Phillipines draw the line at contraception as to their religion? In other words, they’re happy to break Church teaching regarding buggery but if the local priest says “No condoms” then “By God (intended) I will bugger my boyfriend au naturale!!!”

    What unmitigated bullshit.

  40. September 14, 2012 4:59 pm

    “You can’t very well advocate against anal sex then approve condoms for use during anal sex, can you?”

    Well as a matter of fact you can.

    You know, in much the same way as you can advocate against shooting up heroin, but at the same time say that if you are going to do it, then please use a clean syringe.

    It’s really not that difficult a concept to understand.

    Although I can understand why those who take their cues from religious leaders struggle with “nuance.”

    🙄

  41. September 14, 2012 10:17 pm

    You may not convince a young dude not to speed in his auto snacty, so therefore you would tell him NOT to wear a seat-belt?
    *
    Good answer reb.

  42. September 21, 2012 10:21 am

    Mr-Rabbit and Joolya being the `same`again. The Gay-Marriage vote.
    Mr-Lefty is keeping the List of who`s naughty or nice.
    http://anonymouslefty.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/98-names-of-shame/

Go on say something, you'll feel better...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: