Rostrum: Special Royal Baby Edition!
July 19, 2013
Okay, so I know how so many of you have been demanding a post on the imminent arrival of the “royal baby,” so here it is.
I was thinking earlier today, that perhaps Kate and “Big Willie” as she affectionately calls him for reasons which are perhaps best left to the two of them, could do with some assistance in choosing the child’s name, so I phoned them earlier with some suggestions which I’ll gladly share with youse.
If it’s a sheila:
Sheila
Kylie
Danni
Sharon
Jane
Denise
Mahogany
Doris
Lakemba
Deloris
Mercedes
Mona
Canberra
Catching Up
If it’s a bloke:
Wayne
Essendon
Duncan
Nasking
Trevor
Rooter
Plank
Frank
Thrust
Turbo
Holden
Any other suggestions…?
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theguttertrash.com 
WGAF!
Millions of babies born every day and every one of them is a human being … every once in a while one of them is special and changes the world for good … I cannot think of one from any royal family … unless ruthless is a speshul trait!
This baby is only a means for one super rich Ultra Bunch of Robber Barons* to make more fkn money …
*also known as, The Firm … FFS!
You only put this thread up to annoy me, Jummy! 😈
“Millions of babies born every day and every one of them is a human being”
Obviously.
If I was Prince Tom, I wouldn’t bother with marriage and family until I was about 70.
I’d take up with some of Richard Pratt’s mistresses, they actually seem quite nice.
Not necessarily.
That poor little infant is going to come into this world without any freedom of choice. Everything is mapped out. If I were that little creature’s mother I would feel so protective. It gives me the shudders to think about it.
Tell you what I would have had the child’s ears pinned back. Those mock ups remind me of that fine description of Billy McMahon resembling a Volkswagen with both doors open.
If I were that little creature’s
It will start life as a little baby and become a little creature and then develop into a big creature …
Harry and William turned out alright, despite the odds.
Englan are nine down. Only a matter of minutes now and the victorious Aussie (OI!) batsmen will take the field and cement their rightful place in history.
OI! OI! OI!
Aussies thrashing Poms!!
Gee wilikers I don’t think I will consult this thread again for cricket commentary.
Who cares!
Princess Shari Lee Madison – has the necessary upmarket appeal, and Richard Pratt could afford the very best
Prince Jayden the Impaler – would strike fear into the heart of enemies of the British Empire!
“Only a matter of minutes now and the victorious Aussie (OI!) batsmen will take the field and cement their rightful place in history. ”
*GUFFAW!
“Aussies thrashing Poms!!”
*GUFFAW!
Now, for a reality check…
“On the back of a spinning masterclass from Graeme Swann (5-44), England routed a hapless Australia for just 128, before staggering to 3-31 at stumps after deciding not to enforce the follow on.
AUSTRALIA’S AMATEUR HOUR”
http://www.news.com.au/sport/cricket/ryan-harris-takes-five-wickets-as-england-falls-for-361-on-day-two-of-the-second-ashes-test/story-fndpt0dy-1226682232652
Ockertards, out in straight sets! Spurn the Urn!
I’m gonna go with…
Rooter Plank Turbo Thruster Windsor
If it’s a boy.
If it’s a girl, you can’t go past, Pip Cafe Windsor.
If it’s a boy, they should call it, Broad Trot Bradman Windsor.
GO ENGLAND ! GO ENGLAND !
GO ENGLAND ! GO ENGLAND !
GO ENGLAND ! GO ENGLAND !
GO ENGLAND ! GO ENGLAND !
Horrendous, shameful Australian batting top order, destined to humiliate their blind followers again!
Time to soil an ocker tablecloth in triumph!
Broad Root Bell Windsor…
Prince Shane Punter
oi
“Horrendous, shameful Australian batting top order,”
Yep 😐
“destined to humiliate their blind followers again!”
Uh huh. 😦
All aboard the Tigger train. 😯
http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/study-finds-that-every-prime-minister-was-worst-prime-minister/
It is their Scottishness tpp.
August 31 firming as election date http://ow.ly/nbdJ9
Can’t wait Reb.
Such choice.
Have you been to one of our “election drinking games nights” Dianne?
I don’t drink or elect (in recent times) Reb. Tell me more.
Actually our Leader’s debates drinking games are more fun than the election night…
It works like Bingo…
“Working Families” take a sip…
“Middle Australia” take another sip…
“Fiscal conservative” take another…
“Make the hard decisions” one more…
“What’s right for Australia” drink straight from the bottle…..!
If there are 3 debates, I’ll need to head to Dan Murphy’s to restock!
Scaper comments that we’re ‘intellectuals’ here. For once he’s right (though I think this is ‘intelligent’ rather than ‘intellectual’).
But then the local poultry farm is ‘intellectual’ compared to his hang out.
ToM, there is a difference in … those intellectuals over there … AND … those “intellectuals” over there …
I’m surprised the rockshifter can spell interlekshual … he may not know the meaning either … probably sees it as an insult …
Interesting to see people making comment about PNG. Especially when they have obviously never lived there or visited …
Someone mentioned a university being built there as part of the Rudd deal … the majority of kids still leave school at Grade 6 … and they have at least two unis … (confess to living there Feb 88 to Feb 89) … and travelled back and forth until 2000, when Ok Tedi had its well documented, environment problems … The Fly River was literally a grey sludge … the PNG Nationals in the Highlands rely on subsistence fishing and farming … not good for them!
PNG is a very rich country but extremely poorly administered and certainly exploited (thank you, Mr Whitlam) …
Dirtman doesn’t even know how to use ‘own goal’ correctly in a sentence, ‘little lone’ comprehend intellectualism.
He thinks he can bluff his way through Cafe Slop using words he saw other people use, but doesn’t understand. When his poor literacy is pointed out to him, his hackles raise & he becomes agitated; this is when his targets are supposed to tremble in fear of his ‘marshall arts’ capabilities.
Is Teh Royal Baby just a cruel myth? foisted upon us to sell billions of copies of New Ideas? 😯
Nah! Its just a cruel myth to sell ANYTHING … is it born with a crown?
They recently had to change the law so that a girl could have equal rights as heir to the throne (poor old Winnie would be swooning in his grave) … this was a clever move by The Firm both politically and as a marketing tool … why people get sucked into this nonsense is beyond me … and people who aren’t godbotherers too … how can you believe in kings ‘n’ queens and the “divine right” if you don’t believe in a deity … just tory crap … no-one is “born to rule” … no-one …
the election game sounds hilarious Reb. who is it who tips down Dimple?
Down my throat, goes the DIMPLE… 😉
Thank goodness, the election will be on a Saturday!
These days I only have an alcoholic drink on Friday and Saturday evening (special occasions excepted – eg State of Orange when QUEENLAND whupped the Mexicans for the EIGHTH time) …
QUEENSLAND!
BREAKING NEWS:
LONDON: Kate and Wills are proud to announce the birth of the new royal heir to the throne Mohammed.
Is dimple the bottle with three sides?
Yep …
The duchess has gone into labour.
But its podgy with dimples … 😆
Grant’s and Glenfiddich (same distiller) has three sides – and a couple of other distilleries too …
The duchess has gone into labour.
She wouldn’t know the meaning of the word … utter nonsense …
She’s just having a baby FFS!
I do hope its healthy …
If Kate doesn’t hold the baby over the balcony like Michael Jackson on that webfeed I’m going to be disappointed.
Exclusive! First photo!
It is amazing that in a society which still has a clear class definitions that a woman brought up as a child in a council house will soon be grandmother to the heir to the British throne. Life takes some extraordinary trajectories.
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Dimple+15+year&qpvt=Dimple+15+year&FORM=IGRE#view=detail&id=E6B70FE715A9469662D309899104C6E4AAF5011B&selectedIndex=0
Y U M !
I’d be far more impressed if the Royal Corgi had just squirted out a batch of puppies.
Have you been on the Dimple again pp. have some respect!
Actually I may be the only royalist in this company. A royalist republican best describes it. I love Royal weddings, the golden coach, the livery, the clothes, the wasp-waists, the tiaras and fine lace. I admire the Queen and think she is a gorgeous 85? Year old. And, this will make you cross and guffaw, I think Charles is very desirable. I am a republican too as I said earlier.
A royalist republican best describes it.
A what?
”Charles is very desirable
No, haven’t touched a drop since last week.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any respect for ‘royalty’ of any persuasion. They are just people, in my eyes.
In fact, my view is probably polar opposite to what you like about them.
I don’t get cross about such things though. It is what it is. Each to their own. 🙂
I definitely prefer Corgis…& they’re down the bottom of my list of preferred breeds of canine.
😆
I’m not sure about royal babies and stuff but anyone looking for a bit of culture could do worse than watch the return of Housos on SBS at 9:30.
Just sayin’ 😯
“They are just people, in my eyes.”
Indeed.
I was once introduced to Steve Bracks at a business function, and I said “nice to meet you Steven”..
I think I was meant to say “Mister Premier” judging by the look on his face, and on the faces of his minders.
Fuck ’em. They’re just cunts in suits as far as I’m concerned, and I know way too many of them for my liking.
In fact, I could be mistaken for being an impostor myself, if it weren’t for my unashamed outspoken left wing views….! 😉
Well we have already established that you are a dandy Tom so I would have thought you would have admired Charles’ clobber.
“Housos”
Thanks ToSY…
I’ve heard a lot about that show, but haven’t seen it…
I’ll toon in!
Tpp I much prefer a royal babe to a corgi litter. Now if you were talking about border collies you may have a contest.
They are just people. People in crowns.
Hysterical pic Tom
Tpp. I wasn’t talking about respecting royalty. I just love all the glitter.
the glitter of the litter…??
Glitter tends to bring out the disparager in me…just like flags, national anthems & popular icons.
I don’t mind royal funerals, apart from the overdone wank which accompanies them.
“No, haven’t touched a drop since last week.”
GUFFAW!
Border Collies are fine beasts.
I’m a Jack Russell tragic though. They are way more beneficial to my existence than hereditary interbred Europeans.
“I don’t mind royal funerals,”
Me neither. It’s worth celebrating that they bite the dust like the rest of us, leaving this earth with everything we all arrived with and everything we all leave with….
Life and Death…
The great equaliser…
Everything inbetween is just bullshit.
GUFFAW!
* what can I say…1400mls is transgressing my weekly quota a tad! 😯
* sorry, 1050mls…the other 350mls are still
calling mein the bottle…“It’s worth celebrating that they bite the dust like the rest of us, leaving this earth with everything we all arrived with and everything we all leave with….”
That’s the other problem with royal babies. They perpetuate the cult of entitlement…
“the other 350mls are still in the bottle…”
Maybe you haven’t touched a drop of Dimple. But I find it hard to believe that a drop of alcohol hasn’t passed your lips. 😉 (I’m only judging you based on my own habits, mind you, which may or may not be a tad unfair.)
Haha, yeah, just no Dimple; I kinda poisoned myself.
I confess that I shared a bottle of red on Saturday night, then had a couple of beers & a couple of glasses of red yesterday while I watched The Famous Crows register a stirring victory.
I am dead sober right now though.
The Dimple won’t last out the week, I’m on days off. It will bring me a yearning for it soon enough.
*looking forward to Breaking Bad cranking up again shortly.
Tigers can’t miss the finals now.
Hopefully Essendon get slammed to the bottom of the ladder in the next month; although, based upon what I’ve read today, it seems like they have done some kind of sweetheart deal with ASADA.
Demetriou won’t readily sacrifice a Victorian cashcow.
Also, hope Sydney fall down a mineshaft.
“I kinda poisoned myself.”
Don’t we all.
The question is “why?”
And I’ll be fucked if I know the answer…
Except cunts have being doing it for centuries….
Therefore the way I look at it, I’m just a beginner…….. 🙂
“I am dead sober right now though.”
How does that feel…?
“How does that feel…?”
Yes, enquiring minds want to know.
“Tigers can’t miss the finals now.”
Dunno. If it’s mathematically possible they’ll find a way.
“*looking forward to Breaking Bad cranking up again shortly”
Fuckyeah!
Hmmmm, it feels good to know that I won’t be ‘waking in fright’ tomorrow. 🙂
My job ensures that I can’t lay into it all that often. Sure, I’ll have a couple of beers after dayshift & a couple of Dimples after afternoon shift…but I don’t drink after (or before nightshift) at all.
I work 6 out of every 7 when I’m on, so that keeps me pretty honest.
‘waking in fright’
great movie…
*looking forward to Breaking Bad cranking up again shortly”
A friend leant me the series while I was chilling in Penang last year… Enjoyed it a lot..!
And just quietly (in case you didn’t know already)..
I’m not going to pray for your mother (nor mine for that matter)
or your father (as above)
I’m not going to pray for your children too.
Let them live a life unencumbered by our own emotional baggage.
As long as you don’t prey on them. 😉
Pray for them if you want, but it would be a waste of time you’ll never get back. Like chanting at a reading lamp or imploring a soup ladle for sufference.
They made us read Wake In Fright at school.
Stupid VCE curriculum.
Funny…but not surprising…
http://www.news.com.au/technology/edit-wars-wikipedia8217s-most-controversial-topics/story-e6frfro0-1226683125008
DID YOU KNOW?
The royal babe will be baptised with water drawn from the River Jordan in accordance with a tradition dating back to the Crusades. Why is it that some traditions continue while others fall by the wayside? I have never understood why Orthodox Jews dress like 19th century Poles in fur hats and long black coats even in the summer swelter of Australia. That said I wish them well and want their tradition to continue as I find it delightful. I would love to wear some sort of trad costume. I yearn for a sari or a dirndl. We are all so drearily modern out here. Do you have a pair of lederhosen tpp?
I’m fed up (haha, see what I did there?) with the puke inducing saturation coverage of Prince Hypefest already; even though I was fully expecting it. 🙄
I hope Harry gets caught taking it for a drive & smoking in the car with it, or somesuch.
No lederhosen, I’m afraid.
Today I’m wearing my Dying Fetus (no relation to Prince Hypefest at all, DF are a brutal DM band) trackie pants & a Devourment hoody. Rural folk love it when I dress up. haha
File this under ‘Social Conservatives Are Nasty Fuckwits’…
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/tuesday-cain-labelled-a-8216whore8217-for-holding-women8217s-rights-sign/story-fnet085v-1226683546833
*bump
little chuckle…
* guffaw
Thanks to GT, I am rich. Last time it was only a million pounds I was offered, so I’m not too bothered about missing out. This time I’ve been emailed an offer of over $13mill!
Goodbye suckers. I’ll be off just as soon at that $13mill is deposited!
‘GOULBURN Valley fruit growers are expected to burn 750,000 unwanted trees before spring.
‘The dramatic move – which will see 10 per cent of peach and pear trees made redundant across the state – follows SPC Ardmona’s decision in April to slash its fruit intake by half.’
Weekly Times
More evidence of how The Robber Barons operate in our “egalitarian” society!
http://www.news.com.au/national-news/victoria/budding-lawyer-too-privileged-for-jail/story-fnii5sms-1226684615435
I see Senator Xylophone is making headlines again … the Café will be pleased with this one …
http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/national/xenophon-plans-to-take-on-the-trolls/story-e6frfku9-1226687512969
Just wandered past the cafe, and it seems that it seems like Fed Up is the new manager serving up the usual contradictory faire to the last few remaining Gillard apologists (not that there’s anything wrong with that… But perhaps a name change might be in order…
Fed Ups Closes Kitchen Early Day.
Clotting The Vacant Stare…
Put that wine glass away, toss the shot glass into the fireplace, put that brandy balloon back onto the shelf, throw that champagne flute against a wall.
Grab your favourite Pint Glass because it’ the most important alcoholic day of the year.
Its…………………… http://www.internationalbeerday.com/