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Bronwyn Bishop “Delighted” to Restore Dignity to Parliament

September 16, 2013


Minister for Kerosene Baths and assertive Eastern Suburbs socialite Bronwyn Bishop is thrilled to be Tony Abbott’s choice for incoming Speaker of the House when Parliament reconvenes under an Abbott led Government.

“Tony Abbott said I’d have an important job in an Abbott-led government, so I’m positively delighted and thrilled that this has eventuated…” Ms Bishop told Gutter Trash reporters earlier today.

“Someone has to restore certain standards of etiquette and decorum in the house of representatives and I am the perfect candidate to take on this responsibility…”

Ms Bishop’s credentials read like a cavalcade of the who’s who of Sydney’s Eastern suburbs, and she enjoys a well-earned reputation as one Australia’s most sophisticated socialites.

Ms Bishop graduated from the June Dally-Watkins School of Etiquette in 1946 with Honours and gained prominence for her enthusiastic poetry recitals often convened for select individuals at private parties and industry functions.

In addition to Speaker of the House, Ms Bishop is President of the Royal Doulton Preservation Society and Chairthing of the Victorian Pearl Necklace Appreciation Society.



17 Comments leave one →
  1. September 16, 2013 12:57 pm

    Let’s rehash some Howard era types!

    The electorate will love it.

  2. egg permalink
    September 16, 2013 1:11 pm

    Barnaby Joyce to get Ag, not a word on my old mate Cobb.

  3. egg permalink
    September 16, 2013 1:20 pm

    Ahh….John Cobb dropped to the outer ministry.

  4. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 16, 2013 1:42 pm

    Much more attractive than Peter Slipper.

  5. September 16, 2013 1:44 pm

    😯 …

  6. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 16, 2013 2:33 pm

    A big call by Tim Blair:

    The ramifications of September 7 may be much greater than just one election won or lost. In a way that seems unthinkable to us now, 2013 may mark the end of the Labor Party itself. It won’t happen overnight, but just watch it happen.

    Leftist politics has begun to wither away. Under Anthony Albanese or Bill Shorten, Labor risks becoming a down-market protest party of angry old women and the inner suburbs.

    By the 2016 election, only two per cent will vote Green, simply because peak oil and climate catastrophe will have proven them wrong. The Labor Party will be lucky to attract 30 per cent, which is the habitual, rusted-on portion of the community that thinks government dependence is good.

    I am willing to stake my 26 years as a journalist on this.

    I didn’t know Bronwyn was Labor.

  7. September 16, 2013 2:35 pm

    I was once at a charity do and was seated right next to Bronnie. She nodded off and I caught her snoring, hardly elegent and piss funny. She later approached me as when she woke I made direct eye contact and she was very polite. I told her that I thought enduring the entertainment was indeed like stapling sinkers to my eyelids, she chuckled. I must say she is way uglier in real life, a walking example of a bromide milkshake. That beehive has its own postcode.

  8. September 16, 2013 2:52 pm

    Tim Blair is self gratifying with his wishful fantasies.

    I wonder what he said after the 2007 election when similar prognostications were being advanced about conservative politics in Australia.

    Any arsehat can see that it’s cyclical. Part of the reason it’s not worth the rusted-ons getting hysterical when their team is dethroned.

  9. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 16, 2013 3:12 pm

    My point exactly. In 2007, Steve Biddulph predicted the demise of the Coalition and Blair recently served him up on a plate.

    Blair, in his hubris, has forgotten the first rule – governments lose elections. Soon enough, when Australians have had their fill of Abbott, the ALP will come roaring back.

  10. IPA permalink
    September 16, 2013 3:20 pm

    I think if you look at Blair’s actual post, it was written as a parody of the dud predictions from the left post 2007.

    “Please note that almost every word in the following is directly taken from triumphalist 2007 articles, with only party names and ideological identifiers changed:”

    Still, if it gets the twittersphere all in a lather, whether Blair was serious or not doesn’t really matter.

  11. September 16, 2013 3:34 pm

    Meanwhile over at teh cafe teh diversity of opinion continues…

  12. Walrus permalink
    September 16, 2013 3:38 pm

    “Meanwhile over at teh cafe teh diversity of opinion continues…”

    Have they got a new Aboriginal thread up ?

    Are they discussing the optimal amount of dots per metre in dot paintings ?

    How many colours do Rainbow Serpents have ?

  13. Walrus permalink
    September 16, 2013 3:42 pm

    Bronwyn Bishop……………………………………..the Liberal Party version of Catching Up

  14. September 16, 2013 4:32 pm


  15. September 16, 2013 4:33 pm

    “the twittersphere”

    …the new black, apparently.

  16. TB Queensland permalink
    September 16, 2013 5:15 pm

    Are they discussing the optimal amount of dots per metre in dot paintings ?

    We just purchased an Aboriginal painting on our trip to Cairns (in Kuranda) last week … couldn’t afford $2000 … so we paid just over 10% of that for one roughly 800×400 mm.

    We liked it because it was painted in white, black and grey … the artist has just started to do this and it really stood out from the other paintings …

    Thinking timber frame with a maroon (naturally) mat (?) …

  17. September 17, 2013 7:20 pm

    Bronny will make a wonderful chair-thing for these re-heated zombies, l suspect this will result in extra `mincing` at the dispatch box, but less fleeing from the parliament.

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