Five Things You never knew about Clive Palmer!

Clive Palmer. He’s the multi-millionaire magnate that aspires to be Australia’s next Prime Minister, but who is he really and what makes him tick?   The team at The Gutter Trash went undercover and coasted along as “genuine reporters” during Clive’s recent election campaign. Here’s what we uncovered…

1. Hair Colour

Contrary to popular belief, Clive is a natural brunette! His administration assistant, on the basis of anonymity, told us that Clive is incredibly self-conscious of his youthful good looks.  “He feels that people won’t take him seriously, so he dyes his hair grey to make him look more ‘distinguished’ ”  said Sarah Yohansen at his North Sydney office at 22 Walker Street during working hours.

2. “Pope-like” in his choice of clothing

Although he cuts a dashing figure as a stylish man-about-town businessman on the streets of Brisbane’s bcd, Clive opts for a restrained approach to his personal dress-sense. Clearly taking his cue from the recently anointed Pope Francis who has adopted a frugal approach to personal styling.

Despite his incredible wealth, Clive has dispensed with the advice from leading stylists, Dolce & Gobanna, Armani, and Zegna, and today prefers to be dressed by Lowes – the choice of Queenslanders.

Note the generous sleeve length, and seemingly ill-fitting pants.

With a stomach that just doesn’t want to quit, Clive opts for the un-buttoned casual look – a smart move for this larger than life mover and shaker.

Make no mistake, this stunning new corporate look is set to rock the fashion world this Spring!

3. Sporty Clive

Contrary to popular belief, we can reveal that Clive is not featuring in the Spring catalogue of Ralph Lauren “Polo”menswear. No, that honour goes to Tommy Hilfiger, who secured Clive’s modelling talents for a mere five million dollars. Check out the exclusive pictures we obtained for the upcoming Tommy Hilfiger Spring Collection Catalogue above!

4. “Chick-magnet” Clive!

Despite a series of denials from Clive’s head office, we can reveal that the makers of the popular men’s deodorant “LYNX,” Proctor & Gamble have indeed confirmed that Clive Palmer is the “next face” of their LYNX campaign.

“It’s obvious that Clive exudes a certain animal magnetism” said a media spokesperson from P&G.

“Combined with his macho prowess, his disarming good looks, and his ‘wow’ factor, choosing Clive as the next face of LYNX was a no-brainer” said Sheryl Preston from P&G.

5. Is he really real?

Contrary to popular belief, Clive Palmer and Michael Moore have never been seen in the same room together at the same time.

Is this some kind of conspiracy?