Rostrum: Next Week’s News Limited Headlines Leaked Online!
***A STUNNING GUTTER TRASH EXCLUSIVE!!***
With thanks to our exclusive inside sources we can reveal next week’s News Limited Headlines!!
“Child abandoned in rainforest at four years of age claims she was raised by monkeys for five years!”
“Hikers stumble across Hitler’s lost diary in Mountains in China!”
“In less than Five Years, Married couples could be Living on Mars!”
“British Police say an Elderly Couple unwittingly grew a massive Cannabis Plantation in back yard!”
“A Seal Pup has been found in a forest in Sweden six kilometres from closest body of open water!”
“A Lion has mauled a Brisbane tourist while she was having sex.”
“Thieves steal a ten tonne bridge in the Czech Republic.”
“Two tortoises break up after 100 years of marriage.”
“Many jumps into puddle, nearly dies.”