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My Schapelle Hell: The Final Chapter.

February 8, 2014

Australian convicted drug smuggler Schappelle Corby

Or is it a new beginning?

Readers of The Gutter Trash will be familiar with our in-depth ongoing coverage of the travesty of justice that has been the trials and tribulations of the Corby Family.

Now, finally, our fervent protests professing the innocence of “our Schapelle” have finally delivered justice.

Schapelle will be free in a matter of days, and it’s all thanks to our tireless efforts.

Despite heinous accusations by some so-called “lawyer” that Corby will be celebrating freedom with a giant spliff, we here at The Gutter Trash consortium of international publishing houses can reveal that we will soon be producing Schapelle’s first “tell all expose” detailing details of her arrest, sordid prison sex life and bizarre fetish like obsessive compulsive disorders that threatened to destroy her entire family and associated hangers-on.

This disgusting tell-all will be available very shortly for just $99, or $299 for a copy personally signed by Schapelle herself!

Stay tuned for further updates and remember you read it here first…!!!

 

 

 

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41 Comments leave one →
  1. February 8, 2014 12:42 am

    ””””””””””’The Gutter Trash consortium of international publishing houses can reveal that we will soon be producing Schapelle’s first “tell all expose” detailing details of her arrest, sordid prison sex life and bizarre fetish like obsessive compulsive disorders that threatened to destroy her entire family and associated hangers-on.”””””””””

    That`s nice.

    Try not to keep her around the office for too long.

  2. February 8, 2014 12:47 am

    It’s Mercedes I’m worried about Teabag. We just can’t get rid of her!

  3. February 8, 2014 12:58 am

    They should have done us all a favor and hung her and her sister hyundi or kia , whatever the hell that trailer skanks name is… 🙄

  4. February 8, 2014 1:05 am

    And now I’ve got lost Uncle Porsche and Great Auntie Citroen all turning up at the office all unannounced.

    Funny how they all come out of the woodwork when they can sniff a dollar.

  5. February 8, 2014 1:08 am

    Shortman wants to bring Schapelle back.

    Another reason to hate him.

  6. February 8, 2014 1:10 am

    ””””’they all come out of the woodwork when they can sniff a dollar.” or choof.

  7. February 8, 2014 1:14 am

    “or choof”

    😆

  8. February 8, 2014 1:27 am

    I was never in the woodwork. 😯

  9. February 8, 2014 1:30 am

    I’ve been studiously following instalments of My Schapelle Hell here for many a long, politically jading, year.

    Until this particular episode, I was entirely unaware that she had Chaiman Mao’s cap!

    When she makes the front cover of New Idea here shortly, they should allow her to add the Red Star of Freedom!

  10. February 8, 2014 1:31 am

    I think I may have said it yesterday, but it posits rementioning.

    Venerating stupidity begetting celebrity is contemptuous.

  11. February 8, 2014 1:40 am

    Why do I get the feeling you doubt Schapelle’s sincerity boss……..

  12. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    February 8, 2014 10:24 am

    The last time I saw a media frenzy like that outside a prison was the release of Nelson Mandela, and who would deny Our Schapelle a similar exalted status?

    Schapelle represents our own disenfranchised-
    • Dope smoking bogans
    • People who don’t respect Indonesian culture and legal system
    • Aussies (oi!) who hang around Kuta
    • Beauticians

    Schapelle is being released just in time – can she be Queen of Moomba?

  13. TB Queensland permalink
    February 8, 2014 10:56 am

    I’d forgotten Our Schapelle was beautician …

    Suggestion to the editor … would it be possibel for Our Schapelle to make a C&W album?

    Specially wrapped in cellophane Customs tape across it …

    I’m sure we could come up with some song titles eg:

    Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

    Town Without Pity

    Hear Dem Jungle Drums

    Babyface

    Won’t Come Home Miss Corby, Won’t You Come Home

    Crazy

  14. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    February 8, 2014 2:01 pm

    Next time I go to Bali on a little surf safari I’m going to the Kuta Board Room to purchase 2 bikinis – designed by Schapelle and Mercedes. Leopard skin for Fifi, Tiger stripes for Lulu.

  15. February 8, 2014 3:20 pm

    ”””Next time I go to Bali on a little surf safari”””

    l`ve gotta little package for ya`to take with`ya.

    Don`t worry. lt will be fine.

  16. February 8, 2014 5:44 pm

    TB I can see it now Shampell and P76 could do a duet

  17. February 8, 2014 10:54 pm

    I always enjoy catching up with friends in Penang.

    Last night I was at the neighbour’s place for drinks, when the subject of the local ethnic population came up. My neighbour, let’s call him Dan (because that’s his name), who also happens to be Chinese, said, while pouring another gin and tonic rather nonchalantly, “I’m not being racist but all the Malay are fucking pigs.”

    I like friends like this.

  18. February 8, 2014 11:28 pm

    ”””””I like friends like this.””””””””

    That`s mighty white of him.

    Dan will fit in at Cronulla.

  19. February 8, 2014 11:41 pm

    ”””””I like friends like this.””””””””

    Not because he’s racist, but because he’s not afraid to speak his mind despite being politically incorrect, and there is an element of truth in what he’s saying.

  20. February 8, 2014 11:55 pm

    ””””there is an element of truth in what he’s saying.”””’

    So he`s not a Corby then.?

  21. February 8, 2014 11:57 pm

    Unlike t

  22. February 8, 2014 11:58 pm

    Shit.. unlike the element of untruth surrounding Shrapnell and torana

  23. February 9, 2014 12:00 am

    Did Dan give any porcine examples.?

  24. February 9, 2014 1:12 am

    Chevelle & Torana are Aussie!!! OI! OI! OI! IconsOfNote!!!

  25. February 9, 2014 1:18 am

    I’d prefer people be blunt too, reb.

    In all honesty, at least then you know what you’re dealing with. As long as they honour return fire without predetermined histrionics which they have set you up for.

    However, there is something to be said for social lubricant (I usually go in dry & then use sump oil or axle grease for lubricant after I’ve exhausted my options…) and having a little self restraint when it comes to ‘saying what you really think’ if it’s peoplescum you have no choice but to encounter socially on occasion.
    One thing I Know by observation…The World Just Won’t Fucking Work If Everyone Just Says What Pops Into Their Brainbox…

    Funyy though…you remind me of me…

  26. egg permalink
    February 9, 2014 7:02 am

    “I’m not being racist but all the Malay are fucking pigs.”

    Dan’s comment is actually politically correct.

    ‘Many are of the opinion that it is appropriate to label the verbal, non-violent conflict among Malaysians as ‘suka bertikam lidah, tidak berparangan’ (prefer tongue wagging instead of machete wielding). ‘Bertikam lidah’ (literally ‘tongue fighting’) can be seen and heard everyday in Malaysia in various forms, in the mass media and at the local coffee shops. The continuous open and public ‘tongue fighting’ or ‘talk conflict’ can be viewed as an attention-seeking phenomenon that, in turn, begets bargaining and negotiations in order to find amicable solutions to any unresolved issue at hand.

    ‘The seven ‘major axes of contradictions’ identified by research as being articulated through the ‘talk conflict’ are ethnicity, religion, social class, education, urban–rural identity, gender and generation (young–old). They are not mutually exclusive — one source of conflict can generate and/or build on another. It is the ethnic contradiction that everyone sees immediately because everyone belongs to an ethnic group and, to a certain extent, therefore, the level of ‘ethnic consciousness’ is quite high.’

    East Asia Forum

  27. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    February 9, 2014 11:14 am

    A shapely, dope smoking beautician… that’s the ideal Aussie crim.

  28. February 9, 2014 8:17 pm

    According to TV-news, Corby got 20-years for smuggling, not the business end of rope or rifle. Corby has only done 10-years and the Bali-press refer to her as the `queen` of getting `reductions` off her sentence. l wonder if the average lndo citizen will be able to get `all` the breaks Corby has been given, or will they just get the business end of rifle/rope.

  29. Splatterbottom permalink
    February 10, 2014 9:57 am

    It is unsurprising that the ghouls want Our Schapelle to suffer even more under the crudely vindictive Indonesian “justice” system. Nine years served for carrying a small amount of a relatively harmless drug is obscene. To have served that brutal sentence with such dignity is a tribute to Scapelle’s breeding and character.

    Australians are rightly proud that, in the spirit of the ANZACS, Our Schapelle has survived great adversity and gained her freedom. Who could begrudge her a little time in the spotlight? Surely she deserves some small financial reward which can never compensate for the years ripped from her young life and the hardships she has suffered.

  30. February 10, 2014 11:48 am

    You’re funny, splatter.

  31. armchair opinionator permalink
    February 10, 2014 12:15 pm

    I didn’t watch the schapelle tv show or the inxs one last night as I’ve been so bombarded by the ads before hand, it put me off watching either of them. Much preferred the very funny ‘rake’ on ch.2. If you want some good aussie comedy watch rake, the moody’s and upper middle bogan, I’m also a fan of ‘the dr drake mysteries – I’ve never much fancied craig mclaughlan as an actor before but I think he’s much better now he’s matured. He’s very good as dr blake [as he was in the serious ‘redfern now’ series.
    I don’t know why the corby interest has been kept alive when other aussies banged up overseas for lengthy periods have been long forgotten by the public.

  32. egg permalink
    February 10, 2014 12:19 pm

    Splatter is very dry.

  33. February 10, 2014 12:31 pm

    Yep take care of those dry leaves for the mulch with a good Rake..for mine the best Australian show in a long time, incredible writing and brilliant political satire.

  34. February 10, 2014 12:33 pm

    Tom don’t forget to add her work with fish and chips into the mix…

  35. egg permalink
    February 10, 2014 12:34 pm

    Yeah its outstanding.

  36. egg permalink
    February 10, 2014 12:38 pm

    Also it has a Porridge feel, day to day prison humour, plus comic book style violence.

  37. armchair opinionator permalink
    February 10, 2014 12:47 pm

    Did the real life rake ever get the money he was after?

    …Government insiders dismissed suggestions the move was a “command and control” measure and described it as an attempt to prevent Coalition staff developing high public profiles, as occurred during the Rudd and Gillard governments…

    http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/twitter-facebook-out-of-bounds-for-coalition-staff-under-strict-controls-20140210-32b4n.html

    Hmm, someone forgot to tell malcolm [although he does seem to be rather subdued these days]. Hehe, the abbott doesn’t want any competition or anyone acting as an individual within the party of the much heralded ‘individual’.

  38. Walrus permalink
    February 10, 2014 1:21 pm

    “l wonder if the average lndo citizen will be able to get `all` the breaks Corby has been given…..”

    This is clearly yet another diplomatic triumph for the new Abbott government. Gillard and Rudd dithered for 6 years and got nowhere. Obviously she needed to serve at least 2 years after being sentenced in 2005.

    Now with Julie Bishop heading up DFAT we have had this monumental victory after a mere 6 months.

    So Abbott has now stopped the boats and has freed Shappelle.

    Abbott and Bishop should be invited by the UN to provide advice on the age old Israel/Palestine problems

  39. egg permalink
    February 11, 2014 7:38 am

    Corby gets two million from 7.

  40. February 11, 2014 6:24 pm

    Apparently the `corby` TV show on this week flopped in the ratings, channel-7 has over-paid `corby` in their quest for ratings and we can only hope it flops, as it deserves. Apparently like me, 95% or more Aussies don`t believe `corby` or give flying fcuk about `corby`.

    For any dumb-fcuks that are going channel-7`s `corby` clap-trap, there is one thing you should know, she gets out. Spoiler alert.

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