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An Open Letter to Bill Shorten

May 15, 2014

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Dear Mr Shorten,

For the benefit of those who are appalled at the prospect of life under Tony Abbott’s budget measures and totalitarian regime, can you please stand down and give the job of Opposition Leader to Anthony Albanese (you know, the guy that the public wanted to be leader at the time anyway).

You have called for new reforms at the Labor party that strip away the power of Union heavyweights to stack the deck with their own cronies and power brokers, so the ultimate confirmation that you are wholeheartedly committed to achieving this starts with your own role.

And if that’s not good enough, another reason is that you’re fuckin’ useless, although I imagine you are quite a nice person and your wife and kids love you.

Although I understand that two former prime ministers may have some misgivings.

Yours sincerely,

Sir reb of Melbourne (Esquire)

PS: Despite what Christopher Pyne says I don’t think you’re a cunt (yet).

 

 

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20 Comments leave one →
  1. Tony permalink
    May 15, 2014 1:43 pm

    Dear sir reb,

    Fanks for your kind foughts, but I have uvver ideas.

    Yours sincerely,

    Bill.

  2. armchair opinionator permalink
    May 15, 2014 1:49 pm

    😆 spot on tony! It annoys me too, I think surely he can say ‘th’, but then i wonder if it’s a speech impediment that can’t be helped? [I wouldn’t want to be unkind]

  3. May 15, 2014 1:56 pm

    Hands up who thinks that the Royal Commission is going to make Bill untenable…and probably breathe life & sustenance back into the Abbott Miasma?

  4. Tony permalink
    May 15, 2014 2:00 pm

    It’s called th-fronting, apparently.

  5. Splatterbottom permalink
    May 15, 2014 2:58 pm

    Hands up who thinks that the Royal Commission is going to make Bill untenable…and probably breathe life & sustenance back into the Abbott Miasma? see Tanya lead the ALP to the next election (and win it).

  6. egg permalink
    May 15, 2014 3:22 pm

    Tanya has charm, intelligence, compassion, conviction and warmth. In comparison to Bill and Albo she is streets ahead.

  7. TB Queensland permalink
    May 15, 2014 4:09 pm

    … but then i wonder if it’s a speech impediment that can’t be helped?

    In his defence, Bill’s, done a lot of work on his wivs …

    As for your letter, sreb, couldn’t agree more … I wonder how he fathered children … his testosterone always seems on the wane to me … and he can’t seem to speak louder than about 35 decibels … maybe its from walking around in so many mineshafts …

    Its like watching a marble statue get angry …

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Hands up who thinks that the Royal Commission is going to make Bill untenable and probably breathe life & sustenance back into the Abbott Miasma?

    Which commission … I heard on the radio that Rudd has accepted responsibility for the insulation deaths (don’t excited liability is a different kettle of fish) …

    I don’t think the public will forgive Abbott that quickly either …

    Bring on the DD I reckon!

    Go Clivey!

  8. May 15, 2014 4:55 pm

    Unfortunately we will all be stuck with shortmen until the guy with the knife shows up.

  9. May 15, 2014 4:56 pm

    “Which commission ”

    I was under the impression that AbbottCorp was hellbent on having one into Unions. Not that they’d be doing that for any sort of politically opportunist reasons, no sir.

    Not so keen on investigating lobbyists though.

    With the former, Shorten’s arse is probably grass & the RC the lawnmower. The latter won’t happen because both major Partys would likely be decimated .

  10. May 15, 2014 5:06 pm

    ”””Royal Commission is going to make Bill untenable”””

    don`t need an RC to make shortmen `untenable`, he was on day one, only caucas aint bright enough to know it

  11. May 15, 2014 5:36 pm

    Nice backhand volley you’ve got there Reb!

  12. egg permalink
    May 15, 2014 6:03 pm

    ‘Royal Commission is going to make Bill untenable’

    Is there any suggestion that this is the case? Apart from being a union man he looks clean.

  13. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    May 17, 2014 10:49 am

    I see there was plenty of coverage of Mrs Hockey wearing a dress worth over $700.

    I know that’s probably expensive if you’re used to geteting your outfits at Kmart or Target, but really, is it particularly unusual for women to wear dresses of that price?

    For example, I wonder how much this outfit cost-

    Or is this one straight off the rack?

    …or her mum’s

  14. May 17, 2014 11:15 am

    That’s all very well ToM, other MPs are less convinced of the need to “dress to impress”…

  15. egg permalink
    May 17, 2014 11:21 am

    chuckle

  16. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    May 17, 2014 11:31 am

    No wonder people are wary of men in blue ties.

    Although the matching hair and belt colour is to Clive’s credit. He appears to have used his shoe polish on his noggin.

  17. egg permalink
    May 17, 2014 11:43 am

    ToM I was wondering if they have any real dirt on Bill, which could see him fall on his sword?

  18. TB Queensland permalink
    May 17, 2014 11:44 am

    I do object to my name being associated with Clivey … see the link!

    Clive’s moronsminions have never contacted me and offered me money or other enticements to join the PUP …

  19. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    May 19, 2014 10:16 pm

    She’s a “fashion model”, just like he’s a “successful businessman”.

    This is how I’d like the womenfolk to dress at my funeral**

    **Fifi’s fashion tip – don’t bother with the gloves

  20. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    May 20, 2014 8:00 pm

    http://www.news.com.au/world/africa/daniel-wani-to-appeal-pregnant-wife-meriam-yahia-ibrahim-ishags-death-sentence-in-sudan/story-fnh81gzi-1226924213216

    ”THE United Nations is the latest to voice outrage at a Sudanese court order to hang a heavily pregnant Christian woman for marrying a Christian man and refusing to renounce her faith.”

    No doubt the Vatican has similar hard line and lethal policies about those that opt out of their religion too.

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