Rostrum: Weekend Comedy Edition
May 23, 2014
It’s all been a bit depressing with the Budget etc… So how about sharing some jokes and some toons..
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“So how about sharing some jokes and some toons..”
Don’t mind if i do.
James Page, 1957.
1967, Page, Clapton, Beck: Yardbirds.
1972. Page, Plant, Jones, Bonham. Led Zeppelin: “Since I’ve been lovin’ you.”
I see your ancient cacophonies & raise you…
Boltian Moncktonites
wouldn’t concurwould really enjoy the lyrics…* yay! for the magic pudding view of our biosphere…
My favorite Guitar player
What I’m listening to at the moment
‘Underwater scientists have called the search for MH370 a debacle and claim that Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s announcement that black box pingers had been found was premature and lacked detailed analysis.’
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2637359/Scientists-say-pings-not-MH370-search-debacle.html#ixzz32a2cW5D8
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
‘Legalisation of cannabis is making slow but unstoppable progress across much of the developed world, many experts believe, following the end of prohibition in two US states.’
Guardian
“Parody is making a new wine that tastes like the old but has a slightly lethal effect.”
Dwight Macdonald
Pretty humorous stuff, egg … hahahahah … shakes head …
===============================================
Anyhoo … a riddle …
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three
rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of
assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t
eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
Answer: To follow
(Note: Got four more riddles to come)
‘Pretty humorous stuff, egg … hahahahah … shakes head …’
Said with just a hint of irony.
Thailand is quite untidy at the moment.
It is simply outrageous that middle class royalists can oust a democratic government, and because it’s a middle class revolution, it will result in a lame, muted international response.
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/world/international-outcry-as-thai-military-introduce-curfew-and-detain-former-prime-minister-20140523-zrmld.html#ixzz32bididmC
I’ll tell you how bad Thailand is, ToM!
On our last night there we had arranged a farewell dinner for the remaining 12 people on our tour of SEAsia … but there was an election the following day!
No alcohol could be served 24 hours before the election!
We tried to explain that we were not voting … to no avail … !
BTW … what’s yer answer to the riddle?
I’ll pick door three TB 😉
I’m going to Bangkok in three weeks. What can I say, I like to live on the edge 😯
I have no idea about the fkn riddle…
But WHY, TR , …
Ahh fk it dinner calls … because lions who had starved for three years would be …. DEAD!
Because, aww, you beat me to it TB 😉
Yep, dead lions!
Yep, dead lions!
On the up side, they now qualify to receive their pensions
“No alcohol could be served 24 hours before the election!”
If that was implemented here, the sober reflection would cause Palmer’s vote to plummet.
As usual, TR … not!
On the up side, they now qualify to receive their pensions
LOL!
For the dead Lions. Up The (L)Irons!
Second riddle …
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over
5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out
together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
Her husband is a polyester suit, which she took a photo of then washed in a blocked latrine before hanging to dry over the back of a fold up chair?
Shoots a photograph, develops it with water, hangs it to dry!
=======
Now I’ll be out for the evening, consuming plenty of red!
Well done, ToM!
Third riddle ..
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you
throw it away ?
Clement Acorn?
A Charcoal heat bead?
One for RP! 🙂
Here’s my mate Tug.. one of the most talented and intellectually brilliant people I have ever met… been workin with Tug for a while, cant figure out why he’s not a superstar…
What dead lions?
What three doors?
Ricky I caught up with Real Humans and find the genre fascinating.
Meta have you seen the Source video for the Veldt? Awesome…
Fourth riddle …
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
Yesterday, today, tomorrow… 😉
Today was tomorrow yesterday. It’s funny how time can slip away.
It’s a lovely day tomorrow,
Tomorrow is a lovely day,
Come and feast your tear-dimmed eyes
On tomorrow’s clear blue skies,
If today your heart is weary,
If every little thing looks gray,
Just forget your troubles and learn to say,
Tomorrow is a lovely day.
~ Irving Berlin
Monday, Tuesday and the day after Tuesday, or 1st, 2nd and 3rd days of the week.
Yep … too easy! Toillette and TR!
Last one …
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about
it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
No to
e-bay
e-mail
e-commerce
e-tax (?)
😉
🙂
what is so unusual about it
What is so unusual about it (information technology)? Plenty, if you know people who work in that discipline!
UKiP did well in recent elections, forcing Cameron to introduce a ‘wealth test’ to stop poor east Europeans flooding into Britain.
Fuck off, egg .. read the thread header …
Tell a joke, sing a song, or drop yer knickers!
You fuck off.
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/voters-do-walk-of-shame-2014052386883
Rostrum is traditionally an open thread. But, hey, it’s Reb’s sandpit.
Rostrum is traditionally an open thread. But, hey, it’s Reb’s sandpit.
I suspect you (and a few others here) would love me to fuck off – literally … but it is sreb’s, sandpit … luckily …
And it is traditionally an open thread … well, the fkn title will tell you that … if you actually know what a “rostrum” is … and its history …
Written words can confuse, ToSY, ’cause you get little or no NVCs … if you read what I wrote and place a different emphasis on “fuck off” … rather than your chosen 7th Cavalry charge to, egg’s rescue … you might read it differently* … to the way you want to see it …
*Have I ever advocated that anyone fk off from here either forced or not …
Maybe I don’t emanate from the refined and delicate background of your good self … but I’m sure people here that disagree with me don’t really need your help to “overcome” the trauma …
BTW …
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether
or not an older person should be put in an old age home?”
“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup
and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because
it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”
“No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed
near the window?”
Your turn … tell a joke, sing a song, or drop yer knickers!
I’m not funny, its a shame.
or drop yer knickers!
In eggs defense TB, each of his posts is a little like that anyway.
Just Sayin’
How many liberals does it take to replace a light-globe
NONE, they prefer to remain in the dark!
😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆
(I larf alone!)
LOL! TR …
And I know what egg’s post’s are like, TR (mostly stuff everyone has already read and designed to shift people right off topic) … my reply was aimed squarely at ToSY …
My issue is with the bloke who races to the defence of anyone who plays silly bugger for the Abbott debacle he calls a government …
In fact it wasn’t so long ago that ToSY told me I shouldn’t get involved in other people’s discussions here … hypocrisy much?
(I larf alone!)
nah! 🙂 …
I shouldn’t get involved in other people’s discussions here
I blog alone ❓ 😉
I blog alone
Chuckle … nah … some folk wanna tho’ …
… the born to rule don’t get that some places (many thanks, sreb!) don’t really have ’em!
‘And I know what egg’s post’s are like, TR (mostly stuff everyone has already read and designed to shift people right off topic)’
http://www.sci-news.com/astronomy/science-universe-not-expanding-01940.html
In case you didn’t understand, TR’s, answer … (clever BTW, TR)
The answer to the last riddle …
5. The letter “e” which is the most common letter used in the English
language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
My better half has just said I’m pretty much like this when it comes to diplomacy…
Speshul treet, sreb … 🙂
SURFERS Paradise resident Bianca Freeman is claiming to have been attacked by a shark in the Nerang River, near the bridge to Chevron Island.
Ms Freeman said the incident happened after she had been playfighting with friends and ended up in the water.
… The last known shark attack to have occurred in Surfers Paradise is believed to have been on November 22, 1959
55 years since a shark attack in Surfers!! It’s time to implement some protective measures.
http://www.news.com.au/national/woman-survives-surfers-paradise-shark-attack/story-e6frfkp9-1226933286281