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Exclusive Report: WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!

July 30, 2014


From the files of “This isn’t going to end well” we bring you this exclusive breaking news exclusive!

A Woman With Ebola Has Escaped Quarantine And Is On The Run In A City Of One Million People!

Sierra Leone officials have desperately appealed for help to locate a woman with the deadly Ebola virus after her family forcibly removed her from a Freetown hospital after she tested positive for the gruesome disease.

Radio stations in Freetown, a city of around 1 million inhabitants, broadcast the appeal find the woman who has been missing since last week.

The Ebola disease has killed 660 people across Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone since an outbreak was reported back in February.

Saudatu Koroma, 32, a resident of the densely populated Wellington neighbourhood, had been admitted to an “isolation ward” while blood samples were tested for the virus, Health ministry spokesman Sidi Yahya Tunis.

The positive results came back last Thursday.  She hasn’t been seen since.

“The family of the patient stormed the hospital and forcefully removed her and took her away,” Tunis said. “We are searching for her.”

Fighting one of the world’s deadliest diseases is straining the region’s weak health systems, while a lack of information and suspicion of medical staff has led many to shun treatment.



Earlier this year, a man in Freetown tested positive for Ebola although he is believed to have caught it elsewhere.

According to health ministry data and officials, dozens of people confirmed by laboratory tests to have Ebola are now unaccounted for in Sierra Leone, where the majority of cases have been recorded in the country’s east.

While international medical organisations have deployed experts to the field in an attempt to contain the outbreak, the World Health Organisation (WHO) said poor health infrastructure and a lack of manpower were hindering their efforts.

“We’re seeing many of these facilities simply don’t have enough people to provide the constant level of care needed,” WHO spokesman Paul Garwood told The Gutter Trash.

There is no cure or vaccine for Ebola, which causes diarrhoea, vomiting and internal and external bleeding.

It can kill up to 90 per cent of those infected, although the mortality rate of the current outbreak is around 60 per cent.

The West African outbreak is the first time that Ebola, which was first discovered in what is now Democratic Republic of Congo in 1976, has appeared in heavily populated urban areas and international travel hubs.

Cases have already been confirmed in Conakry and Monrovia, the capital cities of Guinea and Liberia.






27 Comments leave one →
  1. Meta permalink
    July 30, 2014 6:10 pm

    (Aye, name-blame-shame-game aLiENS for the hitchhiker’s guide to an outbreak of couldn’t-give-a-flying-rats.)

  2. Walrus permalink
    July 30, 2014 6:19 pm

    “There is no cure or vaccine for Ebola, which causes diarrhoea, vomiting and internal and external bleeding.”

    So we now have a clear choice between Ebola and our daily TV news lecture by Christine Milne

  3. Walrus permalink
    July 30, 2014 6:22 pm

    Didn’t Hendra virus kill us all already……………………..or bird flu…………………….mad cow…………………pig flu………………….equine flu…………………………..Hong Kong Flu No. 481

  4. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    July 30, 2014 6:48 pm

    I was thinking about going down to the coast this weekend, but I think it’s best that I stay indoors with the curtains drawn and the house all locked up.

  5. Tom R permalink
    July 30, 2014 7:49 pm

    I think it’s best that I stay indoors with the curtains drawn and the house all locked up.

    It’s all you can do When The Wild Wind Blows

  6. TB Queensland permalink
    July 31, 2014 10:04 am

    I know we generally have “fun” with serious issues like Ebola but I’m afraid this really very dangerous …

    … I discovered last night that my son and I have both been following the current outbreak quite independently of each other … the point being that he rarely gets rattled about things (based on his life experiences) but this time he recognises a real risk to us all …

    Authorities are searching for people who “sat next to a man” travelling to a number of countries … he had been diagnosed with Ebola …

  7. Walrus permalink
    July 31, 2014 10:14 am

    “”…………Authorities are searching for people who “sat next to a man”…………””

    Thanks for the heads up.

    I’ll now avoid sitting next to men

  8. Tom R permalink
    July 31, 2014 10:18 am

    men everywhere thank you wally

  9. Tom R permalink
    July 31, 2014 10:22 am

    It is worrying TB, I’ll admit.

    Meanwhile, pan-African airline ASKY announced it would suspend flights to and from the capitals of Liberia and Sierra Leone.

    The move follows the death of one of its passengers from the virus after he had travelled from Liberia to Nigeria.

    The 40-year-old man died in Lagos on Friday in Nigeria’s first confirmed ebola death.

    ASKY also announced it would screen all passengers travelling from Guinea.

    Nigerian carrier Arik also said it was halting direct flights to Liberia and Sierra Leone.

    The virus, hitchhiking across borders for the first time aboard airliners, could spell new flight restrictions aimed at containing outbreaks, the International Civil Aviation Organisation Secretary General Raymond Benjamin said.

    I expect fear and anger to be ramped up on the nightly news though, which will just add to the fear and anger already there. I expect the Wild Winds to be Blown at a very high rate in the coming days, as this is ramped up to garner viewers from the competition.

    “The day they both mistook an earthquake for the fallout,
    Just another when the wild wind blows…”

  10. TB Queensland permalink
    July 31, 2014 10:47 am

    … men everywhere thank you wally … LOL! @ TR

    Agree re “ramping” up … although The Spanish Flu virus did kill more people in 1918/19 than WWI …

    Won’t hurt to consider a contingency plan … there’s a few movies around to get you** started … 🙂

    **You certainly couldn’t rely on any government in Oz …

  11. July 31, 2014 11:19 am

    I feel perfectly safe knowing that Tony Abbott will protect us all.

    Who’s the Health Minister BTW?

  12. Meta permalink
    July 31, 2014 6:41 pm

    (You worry too much, maybe, TB; just take reasonable real-world precautions, don’t dwell on interactive instructional design too much, and continue to watch quality P2P edutainment, like The Strain.)

  13. September 24, 2014 4:40 pm
  14. October 1, 2014 6:56 am

    Breaking News:

    First case of Ebola in US:

  15. October 1, 2014 7:01 am

    People will start freaking out now that white people are dying.

  16. October 1, 2014 9:23 am

    I feel perfectly safe knowing that Tony Abbott will protect us all.
    Who’s the Health Minister BTW?

    Tony always has the matter in hand

  17. October 1, 2014 10:06 am


    Terrorists could use Ebola to create dirty bomb to kill us all! says Cambridge University disease expert

    Read more:

  18. October 1, 2014 10:13 am

    Send in Bibleman

  19. armchair opinionator permalink
    October 1, 2014 10:39 am

    health minister peter dutton is busy, selling off medibank private, it’s taking up all his time.

    …Terrorists could use Ebola to create dirty bomb to kill us all! says Cambridge University disease expert…

    Thank you for the idea they say, hadn’t even crossed our mind, but will now put it on the list and get to work!

  20. Walrus permalink
    October 1, 2014 10:46 am

    This is where the medical co-payment will prove useful by discouraging people from going to the GP and just quietly dying at home.

  21. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    October 1, 2014 10:53 am


  22. October 1, 2014 11:26 am

    LOL Good one Wally 🙂

  23. October 1, 2014 11:33 am

    LOL @ Walrus…

    Nice to see your sense of humour resurfacing….

    It’s been a fkn long time between drinks that’s for sure…!

  24. armchair opinionator permalink
    October 1, 2014 1:58 pm

    The terror we had to have!

    Lunch time Australian politics

    …The first tranche of national security legislation, expanding agency powers to access computer networks and penalising journalists and whistleblowers, passed the parliament.
    Tasmanian independent Andrew Wilkie, Greens Adam Bandt and Indi independent Cathy McGowan voted against the national security legislation. Labor’s Melissa Parke abstained…

  25. armchair opinionator permalink
    October 1, 2014 2:06 pm

    While The Australian newspaper published an editorial supporting the changes earlier this week, Bandt put an impassioned defence of journalism to the Parliament, and probed the government as to whether important stories would be supressed by the laws…

    yes, no need for the oz to support journo’s, it’s not as if any of them would report anything against this government anyway. They’ll still have their morphine drip- feed from coalition MPs protected, since MPs are above the laws in this country.

  26. armchair opinionator permalink
    October 1, 2014 2:51 pm

    the kouk:

    Abbott and Hockey: Dodgy brothers budget repairs

    …According to the AFR, the Abbott government has capitulated on measures that would have lowered the budget deficit by around $30 billion over four years, which only adds to the frenzied spending by the Abbott government on RBA payments, national security, roads, defence and paid parental leave, among other things. Add to that a negative shock from the fall in commodity prices and the terms of trade, and the budget deficit projections that will be in Mid Year Economic and Fiscal Outlook will dwarf the numbers the Abbott government inherited in Pre-Election Fiscal Outlook.

    Of course, the government can ‘recast’ its fiscal strategy and in the MYEFO outline spending cuts and tax hikes as it summons all of its zealotry on getting a budget surplus as quickly as possible. The problem with this is that it would occur at a time where even blind Freddie can see the economy is sliding into a sub-trend growth, disinflationary funk. The very fall in commodity prices that is hurting the budget bottom line, is also squeezing economic growth. A round of fiscal austerity in December would be foolhardy, risking a move similar to the silly policy trap that dogged so many European countries when fiscal policy was tightened during the crisis which only exacerbated the recession many were mired in.

    It would be folly for Treasurer Hockey to tighten fiscal policy when the economy was already at significant risk of slipping deeper into the economic quick-sand…

    Not that pure folly will stop them, hockey’s planning more austerity right now. What is wrong with these people? Too ideologically minded to be of any use to us, how much does terror and security overdrive cost? Do they really think that we will accept more of their trickle up economics if they re-badge it as ‘national security’? Guess it worked for national surveillance, we’re all primed and ready for them to play the funding national security card – “ask not what your country can do for you…”

    If we do accept it, australians deserve these liars and crooks.

  27. Meta permalink
    October 1, 2014 4:25 pm

    (I must admit, I’m not entirely convinced that enabling Joe to secretly raid the fridge is a real selling point for new domestic security measures, either.)

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