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Australian Government Raises National Terror Threat to Extreme!

April 6, 2015



The Australian Government has raised the National Terrorism Public Alert System to Extreme for the first time in Australia’s history meaning that a terrorist attack has occurred or is imminent.

At an emergency cabinet room meeting earlier today, Prime Minister Tony Abbott and Defence Minister Kevin Andrews interrupted the Easter holiday plans of senior LNP MPs to hold an urgent intelligence briefing about new information that had come to hand suggesting an Islamic Death Cult terrorism attack of an unprecedented scale was likely to occur in one or more Australian capital cities within 72 hours.


Defence Minister Kevin Andrew delivers emergency ISIS Death Cult terror threat briefing in Canberra.

Defence Minister Kevin Andrews informed the party room that credible information had been passed to Australian Federal Police confirming that members of the notorious ISIL DEATH CULT had now infiltrated Australian mainstream society and were passing anonymously within community groups masquerading as “ordinary members of society.”

Until recently, adherents to the extremist views of the ISIL DEATH CULT were thought to be only few in number, however Mr Andrews insisted that credible Government sources now put that figure in the tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, if not millions, he said.


Mr Andrews expressed concern over the magnitude of ordinary Australians falling victim to the brainwashing and indoctrination techniques employed the ISIL DEATH CULT confirming the even vulnerable christians had fallen victim to their seductive lure.  Emerging reports suggest that DEATH CULT devotees are abandoning traditional identifying garb such as headscarves and beards and are now masquerading as ordinary Australians moving freely amongst society unfettered.

“They could be anyone,” said Mr Andrews.  “For all intents and purposes, they look just like ordinary Australians which makes them all the more dangerous,” he said.


Prime Minister Abbott held an unscheduled press conference immediately following the emergency briefing advising that Australians should go about their ordinary business without fear or apprehension.

“The last thing we want people to do is panic,” said Mr Abbott.  “Australians can rest assured that me and my government will be doing everything we can to keep you safe, but it is important for everyone to remain vigilant.”

“We now know that the ISIL DEATH CULT is everywhere. It could be your elderly neighbour, the milkman, the bus driver, or even your own son or daughter, and that’s why it’s important to report any suspicious behaviour to police.”

“What may seem like innocent behaviour, like saying “good morning,” or “would you like fries with that,” could be code for something much more sinister. This sort of behaviour should be reported immediately to police.”

“For national security reasons, if anyone fails to report suspicious behaviour and it comes to the attention of authorities, then these individuals may be invited to attend a mandatory consultation at one of our newly established “freedom of information centres”.

“In these uncertain times, it’s important for the government to take its commitment to national security seriously, and so, in order to keep you safe, a mandatory curfew will now be imposed from 3pm until 1pm until further notice.”

“Thank you for your cooperation, and god bless Australia.”


*Any suggestion that the new terror alert was related to a catastrophic result for the Prime Minister in the latest Newspoll was dismissed by the Prime Minister’s Office as mischief making, and the individual making that assertion was taken away for questioning.




3 Comments leave one →
  1. Albert Landa permalink
    April 6, 2015 2:13 pm

    Today i was taking in the rubbish bins and there were two 6 year old girls on there way to school with their mum.They all smiled and the little girls piped up “Hello Mr. Landa” I have been worrying about this all morning.Should I report this incident to my local police? And now, even as I write, there is knocking at my door.Should I answer it?There is something vaguely sinister about this knocking.Could it be a signal for a terrorist attack? The knocking seems to be in some distinct rhythm.Like Morse Code.Oh! It’s alright .Ir’s only my son wanting to come in.

  2. armchair opinionator permalink
    April 6, 2015 2:52 pm

    Still not sorry, still trying to whitewash history

  3. TB Queensland permalink
    April 6, 2015 4:17 pm

    I can feel it in the air … bought a new BBQ this morning and the bastard who sold it to me looked me in the eyes and …. smiled … and … said thank you …

    That is definitely out of character and one of the BBQs in the shop was lit, hot and had torture tools on the bench next to it …

    I just knew there was something up …

    Just remember … screens have ears and eyes and mouths and a nose …

    The terrorist have infiltrated government too …

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