EXCLUSIVE: Malcolm Turnbull’s Fabulous new Front bench!
Australia’s fabulously stylish new Prime Minister Malcolm “talcum” Turnbull has unveiled his fabulous new front bench that apparently heralds a fabulous new era in Australian politics. It’s going to be FABULOUS…!!
Christopher Pyne, the Minister for Sturt who was more or less guaranteed to lose his seat in South Australia after the submarines debacle now emerges as the new Minister for Science, yes SCIENCE!’
The new ministry represents a massive transition from the decaying decrepit mob that inhabited Tony Abbott’s crypt of cronies with a dramatic influx of new faces.
Unveiling his new team, talcum mentioned “renewal” ad nauseum and the party’s apparent need to embrace the future.
For the first time in two years the minister looking after women’s issues will in fact be a woman, a prospect that had never occurred to his predecessor Tony Abbott.
In addition to taking on the role of Minister for Women, West Australian senator Michaelia Cash will also be the Minister for Employment.
Kelly O’Dwyer will be the Small Business Minister and Assistant Treasurer, and also will sit in cabinet. Senator Marise Payne will be the new defence minister.
This means a total of five women, including incumbent Health Minister Sussan Ley will have cabinet rank.
However, there were many casualties needed to make way for them.
For the first time in almost 20 years Tony Abbott will be vanquished from the front bench. Apparently the former Prime Minister was not interested in working for the newly elected PM.
Other dinosaurs dumped from talcum’s ministry include former Defence Minister Kevin Andrews, who had literally begged for a job, Employment Minister Eric Abetz, the Minister for the Home Shopping Channel Bruce Bilson, former Industry Minister Ian Macfarlane, and former Veterans’ Affairs Minister Michael Ronaldson.
Disgruntled conservative Liberal MP Cory Bernardi, with the support of Abbott loyalists Ray Hadley, Alan Jones and Andrew Bolt has indicated he may establish a new conservative political party under the auspices of the Conservative United National Tradition Supporters.