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Exclusive: Geert Wilders Secret Blonde Ambitions!

October 9, 2015

geert-wilders-gelogen

****A GUTTER TRASH EXCLUSIVE!****

He’s the poster boy for the latest party of redneck nutters aka the so-called Australian Liberty Alliance that wants to set up a new political movement to rival the likes of Jacqui Lambie and Pauline Hanson, but how much do we really know about controversial unit-Islam Netherlands MP Geert Wilders?

Geert, 52 is a Dutch politician and the founder and leader of the Party for Freedom, which according to their webshite is “Australia’s newest political party dedicated to building a patriotic conservative alternative to the major treasonous political parties.”

GO FREEDOM!

You can read all about their idea here.  Geert has been granted a visa to attend the launch of the new Australian Liberty Alliance  party to be held at a secret location somewhere in Perth this month.

The party, which is inspired by that of Mr Wilders, wants to ban full-face coverings in public spaces and calls for a 10-year moratorium on resident visa applications by people from Islamic countries.

Regrowth clearly evident

BLONDE AMBITIONS CONCEAL HIS REAL ROOTS!

The Gutter Trash can reveal (with thanks to our exclusive sources), that Geert is in fact a “bottle blonde” and his peroxide penchant hides more than just greying roots.

In fact, our genealogy experts confirm that Geert’s real roots hark back to the Islamic nation of Indonesia and he regularly bleaches his hair to appear “more Dutch” and “less Indonesian.”

Gutter Trash consultant and Antropologist Lizzy van Leeuwen says there is no doubt – “Geert Wilders is of Indonesian origin. He bleached his hair to cover this up.”

According to van Leeuwen, Wilders’ maternal grandmother is from a Jewish-Indonesian family, named Meijer.

Archives show that her husband, Wilders’ grandfather, did not serve as a soldier in Dutch-India, like Wilders himself stated, but as a government clerk.

Wilders’ grandfather was fired during leave in the Netherlands in 1934. Due to financial problems he and his family could not return to Indonesia.

Wilders’ viewpoints can be directly tributed to his family history, says van Leeuwen.

Wilders shares his anti-islamic stance and “extreme patriotism” with a lot of other politicians with Indonesian origins, as well as with the national-socialist NSB, which was very popular in Dutch-India in the 1930s.

lelijk-geertje11

HAIR DYE SALON OR AT HOME?

We asked the experts at Tranny Hairdressing in Footscray for a professional opinion and the overwhelming consensus is that Geert opts for a do-it-yourself job in the privacy of his own home. While home dye solutions aren’t what they were ten years ago it can be difficult to achieve the same results that a professional hairdressers would deliver.

Geert obviously has a regrowth problem and while it can be time consuming, if you’re going to try to alter the course of history by retouching your roots well, occasionally you need to spend more time retouching your roots.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. October 9, 2015 5:09 pm

    But of course…

    Australia should welcome Dutch anti-Islam politician Geert Wilders, says Liberal senator Cory Bernardi…

    http://ow.ly/TbRc5

  2. Walrus permalink
    October 9, 2015 5:31 pm

    “…….Antropologist Lizzy van Leeuwen says there is no doubt – “Geert Wilders is of Indonesian origin. He bleached his hair to cover this up………”

    Seems Obama does the same to look more from the Hawaiian surfie culture rather than part Kenyan……….

  3. TB Queensland permalink
    October 9, 2015 6:04 pm

    Mr Wilders seems to be very interesting, sreb … extremely well researched by the read above …

    Perhaps you could arrange an interview while he’s here and/or an invite to the new political party in Perth!

    Still what this country needs is more diversity, plenty of opposing opinions and nonsensical consensus … recipes for hair dye would be good and how it can be applied …

    As Pauline Hanson said this morning ” I have never made a rascist comment” … wonder if she dyes her hair?

  4. New Holland Daze permalink
    October 9, 2015 6:37 pm

    Throw the book at Wit Wilder!

  5. armchair opinionator permalink
    October 9, 2015 6:41 pm

    Make sure you do your stretches before you decide to enter the fun run at your kid’s school!
    http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/perth-father-rips-both-hamstrings-in-fun-run-gone-wrong-20151007-gk3he5.html

  6. armchair opinionator permalink
    October 9, 2015 6:54 pm

    Things we like: Geert Wilders coming to Australia. Things we hate: um
    The not racist Australian Liberty Alliance for a not racist, Muslim-free Australia (Islam isn’t a race) is proud to welcome foreigners (as long as they’re from Holland)

    https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/9df2fa01010cfa729e630f6912e627736dafc7b1/0_0_2400_4000/master/2400.jpg?w=620&q=85&auto=format&sharp=10&s=818710f06f026001a5b38c961b378779

  7. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    October 9, 2015 6:56 pm

    I’ve said many times that I’m fond of bottle blonds.

    But so far I’ve only considered women. Geert looks nice though.

  8. armchair opinionator permalink
    October 9, 2015 8:52 pm

    I’ve said many times that I’m fond of bottle blonds.

    It does seem a strange affectation and eccentricity in a male politician, “does my hair go with my islamohysteria”?

    But, look at kevin andrews ❓

  9. armchair opinionator permalink
    October 9, 2015 11:25 pm

  10. Splatterbottom permalink
    October 12, 2015 10:01 am

    As any golden shower devotee will tell you homemade lemonade, liberally applied, will give your hair that flaxen glow.

  11. Splatterbottom permalink
    October 13, 2015 9:04 am

    Stopping foreigners coming in because the government of the day doesn’t like their thoughts is a cheap wank, an excuse for moral posturing:

    “Censorship is like taking Xanax for syphilis. Essentially, it just makes you feel a little better, calms you down, but it sure isn’t doing anything for your disease.”

Go on say something, you'll feel better...

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