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Bean Sprouts are Killing People

April 22, 2016


Once considered an indispensable salad necessity and super food favoured by the health conscious worldwide, the humble Bean Sprout stands accused of inflicting murder and mayhem across the globe.


That’s the warning from Australian health authorities as it’s been revealed that malicious bean sprouts are behind a huge spike in Salmonella cases in Queensland and South Australia in recent days.

43 people have been hospitalised with Bean Sprout Salmonella since the outbreak began in December.

Authorities say that although the outbreak originated in Queensland, they’re not sure where they were contaminated.

In 2011 Bean Sprouts from an organic farm in northern Germany killed 31 people and infected thousands more.

“While they may seem fairly bland and innocuous, Bean Sprouts are nasty little fuckers that could strike at any time,” said one medical professional The Gutter Trash may have spoken to.



13 Comments leave one →
  1. Tom R permalink
    April 22, 2016 11:46 am

    I told them, The Day of the Triffids was documentary, not a movie!

  2. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    April 22, 2016 1:38 pm

    Caterers should note – sandwiches with pickled capsicum and bean sprouts aren’t eaten when provided for meetings

  3. TB Queensland permalink
    April 22, 2016 5:27 pm

    *clink* WT soda and ice … spent all day renovating the kitchen kickboards/plinth with brushed stainless steel … quite noice

    you may find the following enlightening too …


    Pickles will kill you. Every pickle you eat brings you nearer to death. Amazingly, the thinking man has failed to grasp the significance of the term “in a pickle”.

    Although leading horticulturists have long said that Cucamis Sativus possesses Indehiscent Pepto, the pickle industry continues to expand.

    Pickles are associated with all the major diseases of the body.

    Eating them breeds wars and Communism.

    They can be related to most airline tragedies.

    Auto accidents are caused by pickles.

    There exists a positive relationship between crime waves and consumption of this fruit of the curcubit family. For example:

    • Nearly all sick people have eaten pickles; therefore, the effects are obviously cumulative.

    • Of all the people who die from cancer, 99% have eaten pickles.

    • 100% of all soldiers have eaten pickles; therefore, pickles must be related to wars.

    • 98.8% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten pickles.

    • 99.7% of all the people involved in air and auto accidents ate pickles within 14 days preceding the tragedy.

    • 93.1% of all juvenile delinquents come from homes where pickles are served frequently.

    Evidence points to some startling long term effects of pickle eating:

    Of all the people born in 1905 who later dined on pickles, there has been a 100% mortality rate.

    All pickle eaters born between 1912 and 1950 have wrinkled skin, brittle bones, have lost most of their teeth and are afflicted by failing eyesight… if the ills that come from eating pickles have not already resulted in their death.

    Even more convincing is the report from a noted team of medical specialists. They found that rats which were force-fed with 20 pounds of pickles per day developed bulging abdomens. It was further noted that the rat’s appetites for wholesome food was completely destroyed.

    Now you now why I, and thousands of other people, fastidiously groan and remove the fkn pickle from McDonald’s burgers!


    “While they may seem fairly bland and innocuous, Bean Sprouts are nasty little fuckers that could strike at any time,” said one medical professional The Gutter Trash may have spoken to.

    I’m not sure I said “fuckers”, sir, maybe “suckers”?

  4. April 22, 2016 9:57 pm

    l suspect teh `pickle` is the least of consumers problems at krusty-burger (-:

  5. April 22, 2016 10:02 pm

    teabag,,,,Caterers should note,,,,

    # ,, More bean shoots in boardroom sandwiches (-:

  6. April 22, 2016 10:17 pm

    post,,,,cases in Queensland and South Australia,,,,

    # ,, in teh-usa various super-bug out-breaks (often-spinach) are caused by spraying crops with upstream `run-off` from gm-corn-fed, penicillin-fed, super-bug-growing cow`n pig `feed-lots`

    # ,, my bet, bananaland and canoeland are doing the same/similar

  7. Experimental Cuisine permalink
    April 23, 2016 6:12 am

    (So, sustainably-farmed, pellet-fed, transgenic salmon tartare morsels with quick-pickled beansprout and baby spinach micro-salad plated on a Petri dish it is, then, for a simple-and-stylish, no-cook amuse-bouche?)

  8. armchair opinionator permalink
    April 23, 2016 9:22 am

    Water is a bit crook too.

  9. TB Queensland permalink
    April 23, 2016 9:37 am

    Lead story on …

    … child recovery agencies which pray on vulnerable parents.

    Here’s a clue … NEWS LTD get some proofreaders in or decent editors …

    And for governments and universities educating teachers – revise the bloody English curriculum …

    How about …

    … child recovery agencies that prey on vulnerable parents. ??

  10. TB Queensland permalink
    April 23, 2016 9:42 am

    Bloody hell! KL! That is really frightening and EXACTLY what was PREDICTED would happen!

    What damage are they doing to the Great Artesian Basin?

    From KL’s link …

  11. April 23, 2016 10:30 am

    Don`t worry bananaland ,, they`re just burning-off the `fluoride` (-:

  12. April 23, 2016 11:09 am

    A,,,,Feminist History Journal based in Melbourne is calling for new editorial members. They are seeking postgraduates or early career researchers working in women’s/gender/feminist history to join the team in August,,,,,

    # ,, Here is a hobby for somebody (-:

  13. April 25, 2016 7:57 pm

    bean sprouts popularity is `stable`, the same can`t be said for talkbull, and when bean sprouts wish to be unpopular, they will learn how from blib (-:

    (viewers are now going to be stuck with several weeks of non-election-mode, election-mode blather of what talkbull-said or/and blib-said, unfortunately this will be the least interesting aspect of this double-d election, l have much more interest in the `senate` and who is on the voting table-cloth and when the voting table-cloth is ready, and when l can see it, but rest assured, teabag-media won`t report on it)

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