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Pauline Hanson has the shits over Squat Toilets

August 15, 2016

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A decision by the Australian Taxation Office to install “squat toilets” at its new building in Box Hill has attracted the ire of One Nation Senator Pauline Hanson.

According to ATO’s acting chief finance officer Justin Untersteiner more than 20% of ATO employees come from a non-English speaking background.

The decision to install a number of squat toilets in addition to the traditional “Western style” variety was taken in response to meeting the needs of a diverse community.

“This commitment includes building designs with a range of facilities that cater for the different needs of our employees,” said Mr Untersteiner.

Squat toilets are commonly found in parts of Indian subcontinent, Asia and Europe. Many offices in Australia carry visual signs on the use of western toilets for employees who may not be familiar with the western style toilets.

squat-toilet

However the move has infuriated Pauline Hanson who has slammed the decision as an Islamification of Australia by stealth.

“It starts with our toilets and ends up costing us our way of life,” she said.

In a Facebook video published yesterday, Ms Hanson is seen standing on a beach with her iPhone in her hand.

She holds up a sign demonstrating how to use a Western-style toilet and criticises the ATO for the fact that 20% of its workforce comes from “non-English speaking backgrounds”.

“If they don’t know how to use a toilet here in Australia … regardless at just the ATO, our parks, convention centres, in the Aussie homes, everywhere else … Then what the hell is going on?” asks Hanson, as she demonstrates how to squat.

 

 

 

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48 Comments leave one →
  1. Tom R permalink
    August 15, 2016 4:08 pm

    I wonder if it ever occurred to her that just perhaps it isn’t ignorance of how to use them, but the simple fact that, squatting is better fer yer bowels (so the rumour goes)?

    #justaskin’

  2. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 15, 2016 4:22 pm

    Obviously Hanson’s ancestors were not part of the Squattocracy.

  3. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 15, 2016 4:24 pm

    Anyway, do we really need new toilets? It’s not that hard just to perch up on the bowl and let rip!

  4. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 15, 2016 4:33 pm

    Squat toilets sometimes produce a nasty rebound effect in moments of extremis, especially for a master blaster like myself.

  5. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 15, 2016 4:34 pm

    And they are not much good for other cubicle pastimes like reading wanking and playing games on your phone.

  6. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 15, 2016 4:40 pm

    And how are you going to spew into the thing after a big night out?

  7. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 15, 2016 4:52 pm

    #justaskin’@whysquattingisbetter

  8. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 15, 2016 5:37 pm

    A useful guide to squatting:

    ◾Roll up pant legs to avoid splatter. It’s a much shallower bowl than a Western toilet.
    ◾Position feet shoulder width apart around the hole. They are typically extended portions of the porcelain for your feet that are ribbed so you don’t slip.
    ◾Squat down till your thighs almost touch calves. Don’t attempt a high seated squat… your legs will be on fire half way through. It’s surprisingly comfortable once you get used to it.
    ◾Relieve yourself (LOL – not sure if I needed to include this step!)
    ◾Clean up with provided water or bring your own TP. Some places will have a hose or a bucket of water. I prefer to bring my own TP.
    ◾Toss a cup of water into the hole to flush.

    I have much to learn.

  9. Tom R permalink
    August 15, 2016 5:41 pm

    It’s like a whole thread dedicated to splattered arses really isn’t it.

  10. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 15, 2016 5:46 pm

    Apparently squat toilets are common in many Islamic countries, but the Islamic ablution rules focus on the manners as much as the mechanics:

    Qadaahul Haajah, or Relieving Oneself, codifies Islamic regulation controlling how to use the toilet so as not to defile oneself before prayer.

    If you really have to go, before entering the toilet you are supposed to pray:

    “In the name of Allah, O Allah! I seek refuge with You from all offensive and wicked things (evil deeds and evil spirits).”

    You are not allowed to enter the toilet carrying anything bearing the name of Allah, such as the Quran or any other book containing the name Allah, or jewelry engraved with the name of Allah. Or, at this point, a printed copy of this page.

    Step into the toilet area left foot first.

    You must keep silent while in the toilet. No talking, reading aloud, greeting others or answering greetings. This is in contrast to the Buddhist toilet rules described in the Vinaya Pitaka, in which monks are instructed to cough loudly when arriving at the toilet and anyone already there should cough in response.

    If two men are defecating together, they are told that they must not converse, look at each other’s genitals, or fondle each other’s genitals. Really. Ibn Mājah realized that he would have to put these specifics in the Sunan Ibn Mājah, one of the Al-Kutub al-Sittah or six major hādīth collections he authored. This admonition against fondling appears at 1.342.

    Given my observations traveling in Egypt, I think Ibn Mājah had good reason. A number of men asked if I wanted to have sex with them. No, I’m not gay. Great outrage ensues as he certainly isn’t gay, that would be illegal. But maybe I was interested in strictly non-gay sex with a man? No, go away. That got us to the stage in the conversation where he would start demanding baksheesh. Back to the toilet rules:

    Proper physical orientation is important. You must not face toward the Kaaba in Mecca, nor face directly away from it, either. Try for a 90° orientation.

    According to the hādīth, Muhammad specified that the defecator should use an odd number of stones, preferably three, to clean the anus, wiping upward and not downward. Then move to a different location and wash the anus with water. Do all of this with your left hand. Muhammad didn’t come up with the idea of three stones, it originated in ancient Greece. These days paper is allowed instead of stones, I suppose an odd number of squares.

    Shattaf is the term for a hand-held water sprayer, see the bidet and the “Wipe or Wash?” page for more details.

    When you’re finished, it is time for another specific prayer:

    “Praise be to Allah who relieved me of the filth and gave me relief.”

    Now you are ready to step out of the toilet area. Make sure to step out right foot first, the opposite of how you stepped in.

  11. TB Queensland permalink
    August 15, 2016 5:50 pm

    I agree with … grrrrrrr … Hanson … squat toilets are regressive, barbaric, ancient, filthy and unhygienic … next we’ll all be shitting and pissing in the streets! FFS!

    Do they also have a big bowl of water to hand flush with and of course there will be just a row of the fkn things no privacy cubicles!

    Hated the fucking things in Indochina and felt particularly sorry foe the women with the group!

    Awful third world antiquities …

    It’s like a whole thread dedicated to splattered arses really isn’t it.

    Takes his mind off trying to bump us off I suppose …

  12. TB Queensland permalink
    August 15, 2016 5:57 pm

    Shattaf is the term for a hand-held water sprayer …

    That I have fitted to both our toilets (following our trip to Indochina) … don’t get excited, sb … we use them to clean the bowl – if needed – much more hygienic than the ubiquitous brush that people don’t bother cleaning and far more “effective” …

    After reading so many of your comments tho’, sb I do not recommend it for you personally … you’d want to “experiment” I’m sure …

  13. armchair opinionator permalink
    August 15, 2016 9:17 pm

    I have to say that I have no idea what this is about, i haven’t read up on any of it.

    I don’t think we need to pander to different nationalities in our public toilets though, I tend to think the “when in Rome” principle should apply.

    Nothing wrong with people putting whatever style of toilet they like in their own homes, but I see no need for the public expense of special installations in government buildings.

    Did the ATO have a lot of problems with cleaning & hygiene in their toilets due to lack of understanding how to use western toilets? Is this seen as a solution to a hygiene issue?
    Perhaps they should have inservice education in basic hygiene and toileting. If I was a contract cleaner I would refuse to clean toilets filthy with human excrement in what should be a safe work environment.

  14. Potty Politics permalink
    August 16, 2016 3:12 am

    (I don’t think we need to pander to different nationalities in our public toilets though, I tend to think the “when in Rome” principle should apply.

    We differ, for once, on principle; don’t get Splatterbottom started on Roman communal, or other choice toileting, practices!

    More prosaically, though, I’m inclined to posit that Pauline (in)directly) makes a sound case for why all public toilet facilities, and most private facilities at scale, should accommodate ‘Western’- and ‘Eastern’-style toilets, and their users; a safe environment, even a responsive tourism environment, likely includes ready access, by all, to (a) useable toilet(s), where useable is defined by the user(s); that’s borne out time and time again, throughout the world, where the same complaint(s) and the same solution(s) present(s), especially in this, the Asian-Pacific, Century; maybe we need to have more, or more broad-minded, inservicing, in practical interculturality(ies) and/or user(s)-design(s), in ‘multicultural’ Australia?)

  15. armchair opinionator permalink
    August 16, 2016 5:49 am

    Yes, I am having a re-think on the whole toilet issue meta. I was getting confused by the ‘cultural divide’ thing when I am now thinking that there need not be one at all, we just need to accommodate people, it’s not a race issue.

    I was also avoiding talk on personal toileting habits. But…now that it’s out there… tomR is right with his diagram, there is a ‘correct’ way for good toileting and people don’t always realise that you need to assume the right position for correct bowel emptying.

    Personally speaking, I do avoid sitting on toilet seats when away from my own home for hygiene reasons, I do ‘squat’ above the toilet seat for a pee at work and when using any public toilets, so why not have a squatting toilet? One thing that I find annoying is to go running into the toilets to find that they all have the toilet cover placed down over the seat and I have to touch the cover to lift it up so that I can squat over the seat to pee. I will actually look in all the cubicles to find one that doesn’t have the cover down to use. You might say that sounds a little obsessive but i spend my day washing my hands a million times after possible contact with any bugs anywhere. I don’t like touching any potential contamination. I have even thought that it could be reasonable to carry disposable paper toilet seat covers in my handbag when travelling, although I have never actually gone to the effort of buying any! 😆

    Didn’t take long for public debate to go to the toilet with pauline did it? 😉

  16. armchair opinionator permalink
    August 16, 2016 6:00 am

    …don’t get Splatterbottom started on Roman communal, or other choice toileting, practices!…

    I know, he’s a shit, isnt he? 😁

  17. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 16, 2016 9:04 am

    Agreed Meta. Can you believe the xenophobia in this thread? We need more diversity in dunnies. The apparent revulsion at the way other people express themselves in their excretory habits is a vile form of racism. The Specialist is a classic in the genre and was very influential in my formative years.

    And thanks for the links. Of course the stick can do double duty as in the popular expression “Fuck me with a shitty stick!”

  18. August 16, 2016 10:05 am

    Not since the invention of the Water Closet has there been such an opportunity for a clever entrepreneur: come up with a ‘height-adjustable crap-unit’ (to give it its technical name).

  19. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 16, 2016 10:19 am

    By George, I think you are on to something there, ToSy!

    Maybe an orthodox crapper with footrests on either side which can be raised or lowered to the perfect height at the press of a button.

  20. August 16, 2016 10:34 am

    “with footrests on either side which can be raised or lowered to the perfect height at the press of a button”

    Bingo! That should accommodate both current styles, and maybe some future ones.

  21. Tom R permalink
    August 16, 2016 10:49 am

    Bingo! That should accommodate both current styles, and maybe some future ones.

    hmm, so we have gone from it being a pandering sentiment to a monetary opportunity.

    I wonder if there is a message in there somewhere?

    But, back to hansons important work. I now await with trepidation her full frontal assault on Bidets! Their encroachment into Australia’s way of life (and not to mention toiletbosses livelihood) has gone on far too long. It must stop, and if anyone can stop the squirt into splattered bottoms, it’s our hanson!

  22. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 16, 2016 10:51 am

    “the squirt into splattered bottoms”

    I’m twitching and tingling at the thought. All over! And somewhat flushed as well.

  23. Tom R permalink
    August 16, 2016 11:22 am

    And somewhat flushed as well.

    lol

    reb, time to wrap this fred up, it’s really gone down the drain

  24. Tom R permalink
    August 16, 2016 11:31 am

    Why did I think of hanson/abbott/brandis/bolt when I saw this?

  25. August 16, 2016 11:34 am

    “not understanding the concept of irony”

    Or the First Amendment.

  26. August 16, 2016 11:36 am

    “I’m twitching and tingling at the thought. All over! And somewhat flushed as well”

    SB’s really come into his own with this thread.

  27. Tom R permalink
    August 16, 2016 12:43 pm

    Or the First Amendment.

    I’m guessing that, in this case, they’ll understand the actual meaning of the term ‘amendment’, unlike when it comes to the second one.

  28. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 16, 2016 1:09 pm

    Hilary Clinton is likely to have one of the biggest victories in US history.

    There goes all the teabags bulls**t.

    Trump is just a bullying c**t , and that’s being generous.

    I’m thinking of popping over for the election and participating in some celebrations when the c**t is beaten.

  29. August 16, 2016 1:20 pm

    Whoever wins, America will get the President they deserve.

  30. armchair opinionator permalink
    August 16, 2016 10:36 pm

    First they came for our toilets
    http://enpassant.com.au/2016/08/15/first-they-came-for-our-toilets/

    …This is just another way for Hanson to attack ‘Asians’. I wonder what positions Aboriginal people and Muslims adopt to excrete? No doubt Senator Hanson will enlighten us soon. The question is ridiculous of course but given Aboriginal people and Muslims are, along with Asians, a target of Pauline Hanson can we now expect some sort of One Nation guide to correct shitting to identify the dangerous ‘other’?

    The age of irrationality from the ruling class and their fearful is upon us…

  31. Tom R permalink
    August 17, 2016 1:31 pm

    When will they come for our nutjobs.

    Well, at least we can laugh @ them

    In response to news that the Australian Taxation Office has installed squat toilets to cater for culturally diverse staff, Pauline Hanson has vowed that she will absolutely refuse to squat while she talks shit.

    http://www.sbs.com.au/comedy/article/2016/08/16/pauline-hanson-vows-not-squat-while-talking-sht

  32. Tom R permalink
    August 17, 2016 1:37 pm

    I’m not sure what I think of Labors ‘no pairs’ for this Parliament. I get the feeling that they won’t stoop that low, but are simply trying to highlight for a hopeless media that malcayman is bullshitting about the strength of the grubmints position.

    ie, is it just s ‘stunt’, the only thing the media seem to take note of these days.

    On the upside, it has also highlighted, again, what a lying little sack of squat residue pyne is

  33. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 17, 2016 2:43 pm

    And the volunteers have won an injunction against the CFA EBA vote.

    The Supreme Court shows the type of fair process that Danny and his mates can’t

  34. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 17, 2016 2:48 pm

    Stuart Wood QC for the VFVB argued in court that the proposed deal would give an “effective veto” to the union over the CFA chief officer’s power.

    Interesting that a QC used ‘veto’ and the Supreme Court has accepted that there is a case to be argued

    suck it at Danny its a problem entirely of his own making

  35. Tom R permalink
    August 17, 2016 3:26 pm

    Interesting that a QC used ‘veto’ and ‘effective’, 😉

    Not that the ‘veto’ (or not) effectively has anything to do with the CFA employees voting with their underlings or not.

    Interesting that the volunteers trust their organisation so much, they want to ban them from voting with them lol

  36. TB Queensland permalink
    August 17, 2016 3:52 pm

    Jumping the gun again, ToM …

    Let the courts decide … before gloating your case …

  37. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 17, 2016 3:55 pm

    I agree TB. But the court has granted the injunction sought and that’s the point.

    Do you thimk the Supreme Court grants an injunction against an EBA vote on a whim?

  38. TB Queensland permalink
    August 17, 2016 3:55 pm

    That header photo is different!

  39. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 17, 2016 4:00 pm

    Union stooge Andrews and the UFU are a cancer eating at Australian society. Give me decent citizen volunteers over greedy power-crazed union thugs and their political minions any day.

  40. TB Queensland permalink
    August 17, 2016 4:17 pm

    Its an injunction you clot … not a decision!

    So you’ll have a pre-“position” on the following of course?

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/aug/17/george-pell-police-consider-whether-to-charge-cardinal-over-child-abuse-claims

  41. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 17, 2016 4:30 pm

    Danny Andrews is a union stooge, and it is really quite funny that he cost another union stooge the Prime Ministership

  42. Tom R permalink
    August 17, 2016 5:25 pm

    Danny Andrews is a union stooge

    yomm, I think splatteredarse has hacked yer account.

  43. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 17, 2016 5:31 pm

    Exactly TB. THE VOLUNTEERS SOUGHT AN INJUNCTION AND WON IT!

  44. TB Queensland permalink
    August 17, 2016 5:44 pm

    ToM

    Look up the thread …

    So you’ll have a pre-“position” on the following of course?

  45. August 17, 2016 6:05 pm

    Warren Entsch has a nice signature.

  46. August 17, 2016 6:36 pm

    “Danny Andrews is a union stooge”

    So who would you rather have, Michael Guy – the Minister for Central Equity…??

    Oh my aching sides… 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  47. August 17, 2016 7:38 pm

    l am tending to agree with pauline on this one. l would want to know just how many muslims install the `squat-holes` in their own homes/buildings. l saw a doco some time ago, a white dude stayed with a muslim family to learn and explain to viewers some of the muslim ways and culture. When it came to the dunny, they had a normal dunny, and the men also `sit` to pee. l forget which nationality the muslim family was.

  48. August 17, 2016 7:41 pm

    By all means, join the surfing pinkists on venice beach. Take some hankies. #hilary

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