John Howard’s Guide to Modern Living
John Howard knows where women belong and it’s not in Federal Parliament.
Freshly exhumed from the Wollstonecraft retired veterans nursing home, former Prime Minister and champion of battlers John Howard has resurrected his television career with an impromptu appearance at the National Press Club to avail Australia of his much needed insights into “surviving in the modern world.”
You see unbeknown to most of us, primarily due to the fact that we’re all too busy working for a living, servicing massive mortgages and using what little remains of our spare time to wonder just what the hell is going wrong with this country, Mr Howard has been feverishly analysing society’s ever-changing demographics and more recently the so-called emergence of “women in the workforce.”
It wasn’t that long when woman knew their place was in the kitchen, doing the ironing, cooking up a roast while swinging a couple of terry towelling toddler twins from each nipple. But how things have changed.
In some circles women can now hold jobs and things without having to depend on a penis in a suit. But not so in Federal Parliament, where that little circus remains a predominantly male dominated affair.
Bill Shorten and the Greens are all in favour of greater representation of women in federal spheres, but not so from Mr Howard who issued a stark warning that we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves with irrational “feel good” progressive ideology like “equality”.
When not really pressed for his opinion, he offered it anyway saying :
“I’m not sure you will ever have a 50-50 thing because it is a fact of society that … there (are) still women playing a significantly greater part of fulfilling the caring role in our communities, which inevitably place some limits on their capacity … It is not a terrible thing to say, it just happens to be the truth.”
You see, if only women weren’t so busy mopping the floor and washing nappies then they might have the “capacity” to engage in broader society on a more meaningful level but they shouldn’t pursue some selfish self-development agenda at the expense of their core housewife related responsibilities.
It would be easy to dismiss Mr Howard as some irrelevant, geriatric old fool, but let’s not forget that this is the same Prime Minister who not only lost the 2007 election in a monumental landslide but was served the indignity of being unceremoniously shafted from his own seat of Bennelong.
No one quite does failure like a dumped Prime Minister.
Perhaps he has taken some counsel from his equally loathsome failure of a protégé Tony Abbott who, after a largely unsuccessful career on the international speaker circuit, has taken to recreating his political legacy in his own mind by telling anyone who cares to listen what a marvellous Prime Minister he was.
It’s a peculiarity of conservative politicians that they are incapable of any sense of self-introspection or any skerrick of shame, despite being overwhelmingly rejected by a more forward-thinking public.
It’s a quality that’s unlikely to change any time soon, and perhaps that’s not such a bad thing. It’s what makes them so quaint when they have nothing left to offer.