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John Howard’s Guide to Modern Living

September 8, 2016

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John Howard knows where women belong and it’s not in Federal Parliament.

Freshly exhumed from the Wollstonecraft retired veterans nursing home, former Prime Minister and champion of battlers John Howard has resurrected his television career with an impromptu appearance at the National Press Club to avail Australia of his much needed insights into “surviving in the modern world.”

You see unbeknown to most of us, primarily due to the fact that we’re all too busy working for a living, servicing massive mortgages and using what little remains of our spare time to wonder just what the hell is going wrong with this country, Mr Howard has been feverishly analysing society’s ever-changing demographics and more recently the so-called emergence of “women in the workforce.”

It wasn’t that long when woman knew their place was in the kitchen, doing the ironing, cooking up a roast while swinging a couple of terry towelling toddler twins from each nipple. But how things have changed.

In some circles women can now hold jobs and things without having to depend on a penis in a suit. But not so in Federal Parliament, where that little circus remains a predominantly male dominated affair.

Bill Shorten and the Greens are all in favour of greater representation of women in federal spheres, but not so from Mr Howard who issued a stark warning that we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves with irrational “feel good” progressive ideology like “equality”.

When not really pressed for his opinion, he offered it anyway saying :

“I’m not sure you will ever have a 50-50 thing because it is a fact of society that … there (are) still women playing a significantly greater part of fulfilling the caring role in our communities, which inevitably place some limits on their capacity … It is not a terrible thing to say, it just happens to be the truth.”

You see, if only women weren’t so busy mopping the floor and washing nappies then they might have the “capacity” to engage in broader society on a more meaningful level but they shouldn’t pursue some selfish self-development agenda at the expense of their core housewife related responsibilities.

It would be easy to dismiss Mr Howard as some irrelevant, geriatric old fool, but let’s not forget that this is the same Prime Minister who not only lost the 2007 election in a monumental landslide but was served the indignity of being unceremoniously shafted from his own seat of Bennelong.

No one quite does failure like a dumped Prime Minister.

Perhaps he has taken some counsel from his equally loathsome failure of a protégé Tony Abbott who, after a largely unsuccessful career on the international speaker circuit, has taken to recreating his political legacy in his own mind by telling anyone who cares to listen what a marvellous Prime Minister he was.

It’s a peculiarity of conservative politicians that they are incapable of any sense of self-introspection or any skerrick of shame, despite being overwhelmingly rejected by a more forward-thinking public.

It’s a quality that’s unlikely to change any time soon, and perhaps that’s not such a bad thing.  It’s what makes them so quaint when they have nothing left to offer.

 

 

 

 

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45 Comments leave one →
  1. Walrus permalink
    September 8, 2016 5:32 pm

    “Twenty years after John Howard led the Coalition to victory at the 1996 election, voters have judged him the best prime minister of the modern era, followed by Bob Hawke and Gough Whitlam
    A new Essential Research poll provided exclusively to The Australian finds that 34 per cent of voters judge Mr Howard (1996-2007) as the best prime minister since 1972. Mr Hawke (1983-91) was selected by 13 per cent as the best, and Whitlam (1972-75) by 10 per cent…………….The poll, which has been run annually for The Australian since 2014, has seen Mr Howard consistently rated the best prime minister of the past four decades, followed by Mr Hawke. Whitlam, who died in 2014, was rated as the third best this year and last year……….”

    http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/john-howard-retains-voter-standing-as-best-pm-of-modern-era/news-story/062be54922baa94e393fa7b2d8e03bd3

  2. TB Queensland permalink
    September 8, 2016 5:55 pm

    I need to fix this … apologies, sreb …

    Freshly exhumed from the Wollstonecraft retired veterans nursing home

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Essential Research

    Says it all … Australians are still voting LibNits into their cushy jobs … MALfunction seems to be enjoying his soirée overseas while Rome burns but that’s par for the course …

    What is interesting is that Little Johnny is still playing puppet-master with The Mad Abbott … I can smell a coup coming on …

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++

    BTW, sreb, I liked the last fred’s header photo … works here too! 🙂

    Keep up the good work!

  3. armchair opinionator permalink
    September 9, 2016 6:03 am

    Very timely that Mr Howard has come out to play with Tony Abbott when the PM is out of the country, this is the time honoured practice of political ambush.

    Tony Abbott proposes sweeping political donations reform, challenges Turnbull government
    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/tony-abbott-speaks-out-on-donations-reform-challenges-turnbull-government-20160908-grbo4u.html

  4. September 9, 2016 7:33 am

    //platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  5. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 9, 2016 10:15 am

    Identity politics – brought to you by Marxist mongrels – is class war through the back door. They must be so proud of the Kalgoorlie riots. The rest of us had better get used to leftist-sponsored violence.

    It used to be that to get ahead you worked hard and maybe took a risk, mortgaged the house and set up a small business. Now days the leftie la-la-land path to success involves shoehorning yourself into a designated victim group, taking offence at some alleged micro-aggression and then holding your hand out for cash. Dogfucker Triggs and her well paid minions will be there to guide you through the process. The malingering moron at the centre of the QUT case is the perfect example of this. She has her grubby little hand out for $250k.

  6. TB Queensland permalink
    September 9, 2016 11:08 am

    Medicate, sb …

  7. Walrus permalink
    September 9, 2016 12:03 pm

    “The malingering moron at the centre of the QUT case is the perfect example of this. She has her grubby little hand out for $250k.”

    My sentiments exactly.

    Imagine if she hung around this Blog how she’d feel 🙂

  8. TB Queensland permalink
    September 9, 2016 12:22 pm

    This government couldn’t find a smell in a fart factory!

    Economic managers … what have they done? Slow the country down to a snails pace …

    … made fools of themselves in Parliament …

    … and played bovver boy with Dastyari while hypocritically telling the electorate that its all perfectly legal anyway!!!

    And now for another fuck up by the Abbottbull* Government …

    The government has missed a self-imposed deadline to provide Labor a draft bill to set up a marriage equality plebiscite, shadow attorney general Mark Dreyfus has revealed.

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/sep/08/marriage-equality-plebiscite-coalition-misses-its-own-deadline-for-draft-bill

    While the Emperor with no clothes is away on holiday, networking and pontificating in China … The Mad Abbott prompted by The Lying Rodent seems to have slipped into the role of Liberal Party Policy Articulator like a wrestler into jelly …

    Just who IS running the country these days … is anything positive and/or constructive happening?

    *TurnAbbott seems to have dwindled away … apart from breaking protocol and holding a press conference to shove another spear into Dastyari … very kryschun …

  9. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 9, 2016 12:54 pm

    “Imagine if she hung around this Blog how she’d feel”

    Hopefully suicidal!

  10. Walrus permalink
    September 9, 2016 2:05 pm

    “Economic managers … what have they done? Slow the country down to a snails pace … ”

    One of these days you just might vomit out some facts even those unpleasant ones for a Loony Lefty.

    It must gall you that the unemployment rate is not 15% or so

    “And while we’re patting ourselves on the back, we should note that, with our economy growing by 3.3 per cent over the year to June, we have one of the highest rates of growth in the developed world.”

    http://www.smh.com.au/business/the-economy/its-kind-of-a-miracle-25-years-of-economic-growth-20160907-grb0og.html

  11. Neil of Sydney permalink
    September 9, 2016 2:47 pm

    It must gall you that the unemployment rate is not 15% or so

    Unemployment was at 4.3% and falling in 2007. After Rudd/Gillard got through trashing everything they touched it was at 5.8% in 2013.

  12. TB Queensland permalink
    September 9, 2016 3:12 pm

    And we all know how unemployment is figured … how many part time jobs does it take to make one full time job …

    Markets are stagnating … and where is all this jobs and growth crap …

    It must gall you that the unemployment rate is not 15% or so

    And don’t insult your own intel …. oh wait!

  13. Walrus permalink
    September 9, 2016 3:47 pm

    “And don’t insult your own intel …. oh wait!…..”

    You are the one trying to equate a “snail’s pace” with a 3.3% growth rate………..not me YOU

    Your pea brained attempts at commentary are not even humorous anymore.

    With a GDP growth rate >3% they are just pathetic

  14. TB Queensland permalink
    September 9, 2016 5:15 pm

    Yep … really firing …

    Australian Economy Annual Economic Growth Rate currently at 3.1%

    Australian economy annual inflation rate currently at 1.0 per cent.

    The Reserve Bank of Australia’s official cash rate currently is 1.5 %

    Australian dollar’s value against the US dollar is 0.7547.

    What a world beating CAPITALIST society we are!

    http://www.tradingeconomics.com/australia/gdp-growth

  15. TB Queensland permalink
    September 9, 2016 5:31 pm

    Your pea brained attempts at commentary are not even humorous anymore.

    What’s the point … ?

  16. Walrus permalink
    September 9, 2016 5:31 pm

    Not surprisingly you left a bit out from YOUR OWN LINK……………..but you already knew that

    “It was the strongest expansion since the June quarter 2012,”

    Now…………….just who was in power in June 2012 ?

    “TB”………………proud member of the Deceitful Lunatic Left

  17. Walrus permalink
    September 9, 2016 5:43 pm

    So who started putting the economy into a dive after June 2012 ?

    Answer : Your hero Waynker Swan

  18. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 9, 2016 6:40 pm

    Australian Economy Annual Economic Growth Rate currently at 3.1%
    Australian economy annual inflation rate currently at 1.0 per cent.
    The Reserve Bank of Australia’s official cash rate currently is 1.5 %
    Australian dollar’s value against the US dollar is 0.7547.

    So are those really bad numbers??

  19. Neil of Sydney permalink
    September 9, 2016 8:08 pm

    Well here is a man to look up to

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/good-news/2016/02/11/this-107-year-olds-secret-to-a-long-life-four-bottles-of-red-win/

    Antonio Docampo García, who died last week at the grand old age of 107, attributed his longevity to his drinking habits – four bottles of red wine a day, and no water.

    Mr Docampo liked to have two bottles of wine with lunch, and another two with dinner, his family told reporters.

    I would have thought that much red wine would cause liver problems.

  20. Walrus permalink
    September 9, 2016 9:49 pm

    “I would have thought that much red wine would cause liver problems.”

    NoS

    I doubt he drank Aldi wine………like you😄

  21. Neil of Sydney permalink
    September 9, 2016 10:02 pm

    I doubt he drank Aldi wine………like you😄

    Well i did not think you could get cheaper than Precious Earth at $2.89/bottle. But you can get 4 litres of Albertsons Reserve cask wine for $8.99 at Aldi. The equals approx $1.70 for 750ml of Red Wine. Hard to find much cheaper.

  22. armchair opinionator permalink
    September 10, 2016 8:37 am

  23. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 10, 2016 9:36 am

    What’s that about? Does Turnbull have shares in 7 Eleven???

  24. armchair opinionator permalink
    September 10, 2016 12:16 pm

    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/malcolm-turnbulls-financial-stake-in-7eleven-under-scrutiny-20160204-gmlikw.html

    …Fairfax Media can reveal Mr Turnbull has shares in two international investment funds that invest in Japanese conglomerate Seven & I Holdings.

    Seven & I’s major subsidiary is Seven-Eleven Japan, which is the parent company of 7-Eleven in the United States. The US company in turn licences the billionaire Withers and Barlow family, who own Australia’s scandal-plagued stores…

    I agree with this article by Victoria Rollison

    The wrong diagnoses, the wrong treatment:
    http://theaimn.com/wrong-diagnoses-wrong-treatment/

    …What’s really making them sick are the ill-effects of neoliberalism. They’re suffering from neoliberalism playing out on a globalised scale. So what they really need is treatment to fix the down-side of neoliberalism, not a fix for globalisation.

    Once people come to terms with what they are really suffering from, it becomes much easier to talk to them about positive steps to solve the problem. The first thing we need to do is to stop voting for political leaders who think neoliberalism is the right answer. Malcolm Turnbull, for instance. Taking out the ‘lisation’ and ‘lism’ words from this complex situation, you could describe globalisation as a world market, and neoliberalism as a way of removing government mediation from regulating this market. Therefore, the only way to treat the disease is to change the rules by which the market operates, in order to share its spoils more evenly amongst all citizens…

    and this:

    Moral descent leaves unions facing profound crisis: top official
    http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/industrial-relations/moral-descent-leaves-unions-facing-profound-crisis-top-official/news-story/d33d6068dd728905d1e93340998e801b

    …Due to the “debacle” over the Coles supermarket agreement ­reducing some penalty rates and the “absurd” firefighters dispute in Victoria, Labor and, by ­extension, the unions could barely mention industrial relations during the campaign.

    “Industrial relations must be about workers doing ­better, about rising incomes and better jobs,’’ he writes.

    “And the labour movement somehow managed to have very little to say about this…

    To me, the problem is that Labor is as invested in neoliberalism as the Liberals and their behaviour when in govt is much the same. I’d like to see the unions fighting against the neoliberal agenda, getting back to govt regulation of the financial sector, supporting the public service, getting into telstra etc and how about forcibly re-buying water & power on behalf of the public. What a winner.

  25. armchair opinionator permalink
    September 10, 2016 12:32 pm

    180 million workers on strike in India
    http://enpassant.com.au/2016/09/09/180-million-workers-on-strike-in-india/

    …The government aims to raise about $8.3bn through privatisation in 2016-17 [Ajay Verma/Reuters]

    With 180 million workers on strike in India it is the biggest mass strike in history. Let the ruling classes tremble.
    To read about it, because our media won’t cover it – it might send the ‘wrong’ message to workers in Australia and the rest of the West – click here.

    Is the tide turning here in Australia? Thousands of workers turned out yesterday in protest to support the 55 Carlton United Brewery workers sacked and offered their jobs back at 65% lower pay…

    Will the Chinese whispers become a roar?
    http://enpassant.com.au/2016/09/07/will-the-chinese-whispers-become-a-roar/

    …Assuming we could set up restrictions to stop the rich spivs, a big assumption given politicians are in one sense all in the pockets of capital and manage the system for them, a $500 limit might force parties to turn to the grassroots.

    Now I know the ALP is not going to do a Corbyn or a Sanders and electrify a mass base with pro-people policies and get them to fund its activities with small donations. Certainly a ban allowing only small donations is not going to change a party whose 33 years of neoliberalism are ingrained into its soul and parliamentary representatives. The ALP is not going to democratise and give power to its members because those members are, like the rest of Australian society, by and large well to the left of politicians.

    The task is to build a new politics, a politics that puts people first. That is what I am trying to do…

  26. armchair opinionator permalink
    September 10, 2016 12:34 pm

    What’s that about? Does Turnbull have shares in 7 Eleven???

    I did answer you with a link tomM [yes, he does]. It’s disappeared, must be caught in the spaminator. Kamahl?

  27. TB Queensland permalink
    September 11, 2016 1:34 pm

    Just what did happen to The Panama Papers?

  28. TB Queensland permalink
    September 11, 2016 1:41 pm

    And why is this ugly mug all over the media with its banal comments …

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/sep/11/john-howard-says-australia-has-panicked-about-donations-and-ban-isnt-needed

  29. TB Queensland permalink
    September 12, 2016 8:52 am

    Here we go again!

    THE man who led the dumped UK digital health record system has been put in charge of Australia’s bungled $1 billion e-health record and is being paid as much as the Prime Minister to fix it.

    Former journalist Tim Kelsey will be paid a total remuneration package worth $522,240 a year, almost the same as Malcolm Turnbull and just shy of the $548,360 paid to the Chief of the Navy and more than the Chief Scientist, the head of the Fair Work Commission and the Inspector General of Taxation, a remuneration tribunal determination reveals.

    From July 360,000 residents of Penrith in Sydney’s West and 700,000 people in North Queensland had their personal health information uploaded onto the internet.

    Their records contained a summary of their health status put in by their doctor, records of their medicines and allergies and eventually links to x-ray and medical test results.

    Patients in these areas had to notify the government by June if they did not wish their personal health information used in such a record.

    The opt out system could soon apply to all Australians and may present concerns for patients who had abortions, mental illnesses or other embarrassing health problems they may want to keep secret.

    Mr Kelsey set up Dr Foster, a company which pioneered publication of patient outcomes in healthcare. This company was later sold to Telstra which has now set up its own health division.

    http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/englishman-now-in-charge-of-1-billion-digital-health-records-system-doctors-refuse-to-use/news-story/7c49e83194b8a95d1310041c5ab29c0d

  30. TB Queensland permalink
    September 12, 2016 8:54 am

  31. Neil of Sydney permalink
    September 12, 2016 11:24 am

    Thankfully the ALP is now out of office we can hopefully start taking refugees like this again. People from Africa have no way of getting to Indonesia and paying $$$$$$10,000 to a people smuggler. These are the people we used to take under John Howard.

    https://www.theguardian.com/unhcr-refugee-stories/2016/may/18/from-africa-to-australia-the-long-journey-of-a-refugee

    When Yarrie and her family fled the intense rebel fighting in Sierra Leone in the late 1990s, it was to be the start of years of hunger and hardship in neighbouring Guinea…….The family left Africa on 9 November 2004 when Yarrie was 10 years old after the application to join her uncle and his wife in Sydney came through.

  32. TB Queensland permalink
    September 12, 2016 12:20 pm

    People from Africa have no way of getting to Indonesia and paying $$$$$$10,000 to a people smuggler.

    Apart from the one’s attending the local catlik primary school and church? Subsidised by taxpayers of course … very tall some of them too … 😉

  33. TB Queensland permalink
    September 12, 2016 12:21 pm

    The family left Africa on 9 November 2004 when Yarrie was 10 years old after the application to join her uncle and his wife in Sydney came through.

    Or these folk, perhaps …

  34. Neil of Sydney permalink
    September 12, 2016 12:31 pm

    Or these folk, perhaps …

    Yes under John Howard (ie 9 Novemeber 2004) we took our refugees from UNHCR camps. Under Rudd/Gillard we took people with $10,000.

  35. September 12, 2016 1:57 pm

    Transcript: Malcolm Turnbull’s brutal assessment of Prime Minister Tony Abbott…

    http://linkis.com/www.smh.com.au/feder/WHyMP

  36. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 12, 2016 3:56 pm

    Will wonders never cease? Brian Toohey talks sense:

    Veteran economic analyst Geoff Carmody argued in this newspaper in March that it would be cheaper to pay everyone the age pension and abolish compulsory super. It would be even cheaper, but more administratively cumbersome, to abolish compulsion and keep a means-tested pension.

    A recent Grattan Institute analysis showed that super balances only account for about 15 percent of household wealth. The rest mainly comprises other financial assets, the family home and other property. Like the age pension, the cost of the tax concessions for super adds to the budget deficit. The main difference is that the concessions turn the long-established principle of means-testing on its head – their value is heavily biased towards those who could afford to fend for themselves. ……

    Scrapping compulsion and paying existing contributions as part of normal after-tax pay would have major economic benefits. Those on $33,000 a year would have over $52-a-week extra to spend or save as they saw fit, while those of $70,000 would had an extra $85-a-week. This would have the added bonus of slashing the budget deficit by cutting $18 billion a year from the cost of the tax concessions – without reducing demand in the economy.

  37. TB Queensland permalink
    September 12, 2016 4:19 pm

    The main difference is that the concessions turn the long-established principle of means-testing on its head – their value is heavily biased towards those who could afford to fend for themselves. ……

    Still the main problem … always has been …

    … you also need to factor that an age pension for everyone (as in NZ @ $30,000 @ 65yo no means test – done and dusted) requires a higher tax base from all taxpayers …

    The original Compulsory Super was originally paid in lieu of a pay rise … there should have been a steady increase to 12% (preferably) 15% … but that was thwarted at every twist and turn by the Liberal National Coalition …

    After experiencing the GFC I believe Keating unwittingly threw retiree/pensioners to the wolves … the next crash is just around the corner … and with that no-one will earn a cent … under the mattress may be the option!

    What we need is a National Pension Scheme with a guaranteed 6% return on investment … if people want to pay more than the amount calculated for them (based on income) then they can …

    A National PS has worked successfully in the UK for decades …

    (Or have a serious look at a Basic Income approach to ALL welfare)

  38. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 12, 2016 4:22 pm

    “(Or have a serious look at a Basic Income approach to ALL welfare)

    One step at a time, TB. 🙂 That sounds a bit wacko to me.

  39. armchair opinionator permalink
    September 12, 2016 4:29 pm

    Why is the government debating whether to fund hate speech?
    http://www.theage.com.au/comment/view-from-the-street/why-is-the-government-debating-whether-to-fund-hate-speech-20160912-gre6dx.html

    …There are some questions that are really easy to answer. “Should taxpayers fund hate speech against themselves?” is one such…

    …The problem that the No case, and by extension the federal government, have with funding such a campaign is that it would encourage activity which is arguably illegal…

  40. TB Queensland permalink
    September 12, 2016 5:56 pm

    Ya mean like this “one step at a time” government, sb?

    http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/turnbull-government-embarrassment-as-senate-runs-out-of-work-to-do-20160912-gre6nr.html

    Economic managers? They can’t even manage themselves!!!!!

    How can they manage the country let alone little lone th economy that is slowly nosediving – despite all the feel-good stats …

  41. TB Queensland permalink
    September 12, 2016 6:35 pm

    sreb, (yep I did read the link … but) why are we funding a plebiscite in the first place … what happened to separation of “powers” all of them … and HUMAN RIGHTS!

    And people get frightened, aggressive and punitive angry when I ridicule organised religion … from ANYWHERE on the globe …

    Human beings have human rights! FFS!

    Shimples!

    Shields UP!

  42. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 12, 2016 7:40 pm

    I was in Perth last week. It makes Brisbane look cosmopolitan. The best view of Perth is from the aircraft as it is leaving

  43. armchair opinionator permalink
    September 12, 2016 9:58 pm

    It’s about time we had a plebiscite on whether we should be funding religion don’t you think? If religion can have so much influence over our politicians then surely we should be having the debate. If the pollies personal religious belief comes before the representation of their electorate then there is something wrong and it’s undemocratic. I do not believe in the very convenient cop-out of a “conscience vote” it should not be in existence imo, their electorate should come first.

    Notice the issue never, ever comes up though?
    Because both sides are deeply wedded to the status quo. When will we get the representation that they are supposed to deliver? At he moment we get an undemocratic selection by the party [and it’s factions] not the population.

    How can we shake it up?

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