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AFL Grand Final Footy Preview!

October 22, 2020

It’s that time of the year again, where Tom of Melbourne reveals his thoughts and predictions for this year’s AFL Grand Final….

Well done to Queensland!

They have already appropriated:

* Melbourne’s biggest bogans

* the fattest pensioners 

* the shadiest businessmen

* our most surgically enhanced blondes

And now they have the Grand Final!  

But there will be challenges for the locals who attend the game. The most common questions and comments of spectators- 

* can he do that?

* wasn’t that a knock on?

* those guys look too athletic to play football and they have necks!

* why didn’t the coach finish each sentence with “but”?

It has been a great season for genuine football lovers, with Adelaide finishing last.

I’m tipping that they’ll go back to back! That will cheer up people in the civilised parts of the country, ie Victoria. And we definitely need more cheering up.

It’s a long weekend, and Bunnings are certainly tuned into the level of leisure and activity available here. 

They are advertising a vegetable garden to “plant and watch grow”. That’s about as much action as we can legally get away with at the moment.

I can’t wait for the next lockdown project from Bunnings – paint something and watch it dry.

I’m tipping Richmond to win the game, because Dusty has lots of tats and a Gold Coast tan. And I’m trying to decide whether to watch the game or watch my Bunnings vegetables grow.

So many exciting choices in lockdown! 

19 Comments leave one →
  1. October 22, 2020 3:55 pm

    Only YoM would write a football preview with dot points… 😆

  2. Splatterbottom permalink
    October 22, 2020 4:32 pm

    The grown men running around chasing a ball and bashing each other are not nearly as stupid as those who pay to watch this utterly pointless nonsense.

  3. Neil of Sydney permalink
    October 22, 2020 5:17 pm

    What is AFL??

  4. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    October 22, 2020 6:27 pm

    It’s very incisive analysis. Outstanding dot points too!

  5. Tony permalink
    October 22, 2020 6:44 pm

    Carn the Tigers!

  6. Tony permalink
    October 22, 2020 6:46 pm

    Not sure about using asterisks in place of dots. Surely Victoria has a rule about this.

  7. Tom R permalink
    October 22, 2020 6:54 pm

    Not sure about using asterisks in place of dots.

    Obviously Obelix was unavailable

  8. Kerry Marcon permalink
    October 22, 2020 7:56 pm

    Deary me, i see you’re still naughty even if it’s in a whimsical and jaunty style – i don’t care who wins as 2020 has been an asterisk year – it doesn’t count. Love and kisses from a sandgroper Hawthorn fan.

  9. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    October 23, 2020 9:53 am

    You’re an outstanding judge of character Kerry

  10. Tom R permalink
    October 24, 2020 6:42 pm

    Here I was thinking/hoping the footy was all over, and the bloody thing hasn’t even started yet.

    While you are waiting, here’s something you can do. Sign a petition

  11. TB Queensland permalink
    October 26, 2020 11:23 am

    Is it over yet? Can the Mexicans fuck off go home yet?

    I’m listing all the Victorian number plates now (need a new SD card for my phone) … fucking hilarious slogan too … “The Place to Be” … so fucking be there!

  12. November 2, 2020 8:16 pm

    Hahahahahhahaha…eat a dick Dangerfield, Selwood, Ablett…

    Go Tigers!

  13. November 2, 2020 8:51 pm

    Shit ^& disasters my friends, but what the actual fuck…I feel for you, my friends…I can;t imagine that you are set up for the arse raping

  14. TB Queensland permalink
    December 5, 2020 12:25 pm


  15. TB Queensland permalink
    December 5, 2020 12:26 pm

    Can’t comment on WE Gab Fest … anyone else?

  16. Tom R permalink
    December 5, 2020 6:59 pm

    Works for me tb. Maybe rebs fixed it?

  17. TB Queensland permalink
    December 5, 2020 7:31 pm

    Whoo! So fkn annoying! I’ll have another try!

    oh, and thanks for replying no other bugger did!

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