AFL Grand Final Preview with Tom of Melbourne!
The inimitable Tom of Melbourne returns with his annual AFL Grand Final Footy Preview…!
It’s appropriate that plague-stricken Melbourne would assign one of its most significant cultural and sporting events to Australia’s most culturally deficient city, Perth.
It is a city populated by semi-literate (even semi-lingual) misfits.
Perth is the most isolated city in the world and the civilised parts of the country are happy with that.
Brisbane isn’t far behind Perth in per capita misfits and semi literacy, but they are within a 2 hours drive of civilisation, ie the NSW border.
And the game – it’s the Dogs vs Demons – represents the contest between workers and wankers, it’s the board room vs the boiler room, or the industrial west against Collins Street.
The Melbourne Demons represent a privileged demographic, not a locality. They should be known at the Melbourne Club (Football Sub-branch).
The supporters of the club are tax-avoiding stockbrokers and wine tossers, who vacation in Aspen.
The Dogs represent Melbourne’s industrial heartland, people that have real jobs, those that drink beer and holiday in caravans.
It is the beach house in Portsea vs the caravan in Dromana, it’s Penfolds Bin 707 vs Vic Bitter, it’s lunch at Florintino’s on Bourke St vs takeaway from Jimmy Wong’s on Barkley Street, it’s a leased Range Rover vs a 2002 Camry, it’s Melbourne Grammar vs Footscray Tech.
This is a game between Toorak and Altona, between the ruling class and the working class.
Finally the ruling class are the losers and it’s the Dogs by 4 goals!
Go Bulldogs!
theguttertrash.com 
The Dogs represent Melbourne’s industrial heartland
People who, yomm forgot to mention, he spent the latter years of his career ripping off and making their workplaces more dangerous for
So with that said, GO DOGGIES!
“tax-avoiding stockbrokers and wine tossers, who vacation in Aspen”
Why, that almost sounds like YoM…!! 😆
So with that said (again), GO DOGGIES! 🙂
The difference is that I recognise that Melbourne is a vacuous club, without a community.
Their club motto should be “raised in the tough end of Collins St”
Or “yield to none… unless it’s a great offer”
And…GO DOGGIES?
tax-avoiding stockbrokers and wine tossers, who vacation in Aspen
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Seriously though, not sure if anyone here realises but this game of tenants vs landlords isn’t on for another week!
Plus, fuck Daniel Andrews for losing the grand final, and fuck that WA premier – just because he’s an insufferable cu*t!
Yes but you need a week to think about the grand final
“Yes but you need a week to think about the grand final”
What is there to think about? Who cares about a bunch of so-called adults fighting over a ball? Even more boring and inconsequential than the daily grandstanding at the Premiers’ Covid briefings.
Dogs!
Just for raping Portscum at the final hurdle and causing (another) ignominious capitulation!
So much schadenfreude.
The dogs!
That’s why I know so much about failure!
I reckon the Dogs are a good chance.
UnderDOGS!
Also, fuck Jake Lever and Melbourne.
Woulda been happy to see either win, both had impressive year, if they weren’t playing each other.
Richmond shoulda kept Houli, just sayin.
Controversial opinion:
Up there Cazaly is a shit song and so are all the team “anthems”.
I hear we can have a picnic while watching it. With one other household (*conditions apply)
In 8° temperature, and rain with possible hail.
I can’t wait!
Fuck Port Adelaide with a sharp stick…miglo still lurking, seething about Famous Crows, aligning with Crapperville Mayors or harvesting emails for quirky echochambers?