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Royal Split leaves Queen Reeling with Rage!

January 9, 2020


Harry & Meghan’s shock Royal exit has caused a ‘civil war’ at Buckingham Palace – leaving both Prince Charles and Prince William ‘incandescent with rage.’

The couple rushed out a bombshell statement after their plans were exposed in UK tabloid The Sun. But the failure to consult other Royals has triggered outrage.

However a senior source told The Gutter Trash that their statement was not cleared with anyone.

“It breaks all protocol. This is a declaration of war on the family.”

“There is fury over how they’ve done this without any thought for the implications for the institution. The Queen is deeply upset. The Prince of Wales and Duke of Cambridge are incandescent with rage.

“Courtiers can’t believe it. There are so many unanswered questions but they’ve just up and done it without a thought for anyone else.”

“The plan was for there to discuss it and work out a way that works for everyone in the family.”


But when Harry and Meghan found out The Sun was breaking the story, they wanted to rush out a statement immediately.

“Harry and Meghan wanted it their way or the highway. So they’ve gone and exiled themselves from the Royal Family. It’s extraordinary.”

The statement said Harry and Meghan will work to become financially independent and will divide their time between the UK and North America.

Buckingham Palace issued a curt statement last night stating discussion were at an “early stage.”

It read:

“We understand their desire to take a different approach, but these are complicated issues that will take time to work through.”

Apparently, the final straw for Harry and Meghan was the official release of a new royal portrait featuring The Queen, Prince Charles, Prince William and Prince George.

The insider told us that the picture was the clearest indication that Harry and Meghan are not considered part of the future of the institution, and from their point of view from that moment on there was no point hanging around.

The big question is “what will Harry and Meghan do now?”

Commercial deals ranging from sponsorship deals to reality TV shows are widely tipped, but these lucrative deals will be anathema to the Queen and the remaining Royals who consider such arrangements grotesque!

The Bush fire Blame Game

January 6, 2020


First, Scott Morrison was nowhere to be found.

His office wouldn’t even confirm whether he was on leave (or not) or whether he was in Australia (or not).

The mystery intensified with other LNP Ministers refusing to confirm or deny rumours  the PM was holidaying in Hawaii.

Then, when the scale of the disaster became more apparent, the PM felt compelled to return to Australia, in case he might’ve offended anyone who became ‘anxious’ over his absence.

He shifted the blame for his absence to his kids, because, you know ‘dad’s make commitments to their kids about holidays, ‘n such like.’

Then, when he returned to Australia, he blamed the fires on the States, because you know, fires are a State responsibility, and the PM doesn’t actually hold a fire hose.

This, despite refusing to meet with a panel of fire chiefs and experts who predicted the current situation.

Then, he told everyone to be ‘patient,’ while the nation burned and many lost their homes, livelihood or worse.

When he finally visited fire ravaged areas, he shifted blame for victims who refused to ‘shake his hand’ to those victims themselves, saying they were angry and upset.

Then, despite initially stating the fires were a State responsibility, announced a $20 million rescue package to fight the bush fires.

But he neglected to inform Rural Fire Service (RFS) Commissioner Shane Fitzsimmons who instead found out about the package through the media.

Morrison then blamed a ‘breakdown in communications’ for the omission. (It’s never his fault).


Then, the PM was slammed for authorising a social media advertising campaign which sought to spruik the Government’s response.

Now, Morrison is saying that it’s not the time to discuss climate change or who’s to blame for the fires.

Will this incompetent buffoon ever accept any responsibility or accountability for anything?

Just in: Apparently the Home Affairs Office [The Government Department responsible for managing national emergencies] has shut its doors due to the bush fires.

Has anyone seen or heard from Peter Dutton or is he still holidaying too….??



Whatever happened to Free Speech…!!

December 17, 2019

Robert Vigors and Karen Ridge neighborly visit

Free speech is under threat in this country and it’s an absolute disgrace!

For far too long, we have allowed mealy-mouthed lefties with their PC hearts on their tiny hessian sleeves to dictate what goes on in this country that we have spent decades trying to build and protect.

Hard fought rights that today shape our very existence are being ebbed away by those would profess to know better but in fact threaten the very freedoms we take for granted today.

Heck, it’s getting to the stage where you can’t even drop by to visit the neighbours to question the authenticity of their ethnicity and tear down their national flag without fear of vilification or worse; losing your livelihood.

Patriots and proud (but not-so-silent) Quiet Australians Robert Vigors and Karen Ridge are now financially worse off and have had their reputations tarnished simply for asserting their inalienable right to be bigots (hat tip to Tom R).

What is wrong with this country.

Coda: Get your “Too Strong for you Karen” merchandise here.

Plus: Take the test – What Percentage Aboriginal are you?


Conservative MP George Christensen “a regular” at Manila strip club.

December 3, 2019


He’s known by his own colleagues as the “Member for Manila” after spending almost 300 days in the Philippines on 28 separate trips all funded by the taxpayer ostensibly to further the interests of his constituents in the Queensland electorate of Dawson.

All up, the far right MP, outspoken opponent of abortion and gay rights, spent just under 300 days in the impoverished south-east Asian country between 2014 -2018.

During his frequent trips, Christensen was collecting approximately $550 each day from the Australian as the “member for Manila”.

In total, Christensen collected a hefty salary of about $163,500 over the almost 300 days he spent in the Philippines “representing his constituents.”

But that’s not all, this keen upholder of conservative Christian values has been exposed as a frequent customer at the Ponytails nightclub – a strip club in the red light district of Angeles city outside Manila.


Ponytails nightclub in Angeles City

Ponytails bartender Marjorie Lamsen told the organisations Mr Christensen was a “very regular visitor” to the venue.

“He was always very good … he was a big spender,” she said.

Mr Christensen, a committed Christian, says he met his now-wife April Asuncion while in the Philippines in 2017.Mr Christensen’s wife is said to be a former employee of Ponytails nightclub.

The MP has previously told media the reason he has spent so much time in the Philippines in recent years was simply to engage in “charity work.”

Scott Morrison call to Police Chief another example of Peak Smuggery

November 28, 2019

Angus Taylor enjoys Question Time in Parliament

Scott Morrison never expected to become Prime Minister but he’s quickly settled into the role as if it’s his god-given right.

In the midst of an AFP investigation into one of his own ministers, someone with a bit of skin in the game would keep a safe distance from the controversy and offer some excuse along the lines of “allowing the law to take its course,” “inappropriate to make any comment while investigations are still underway.” That sort of thing.

Heck, back in the day, a minister facing such allegations would step aside while the investigations proceeded until a final conclusion, but not so in the Morrison government.

No, Scott Morrison simply picks up the phone for a neighbourly chat with the New South Wales Police Commissioner Mick Fuller ostensibly to uncover where there’s any truth to the allegations.

The fact that this didn’t even occur to Morrison as improper is just further evidence of his ineptitude in the top job.

Even his former mate (remember his loyalty: “I’m ambitious for him”) Malcom Turnbull took to the airwaves to state that “he wouldn’t have made that call.”

Morrison, by his sheer ignorance and stupidity has compromised the position of the NSW Police Commissioner and pinned himself to the mast of that other moron Angus Taylor.

I guess this is what happens when he’s clinging on to government with the slimmest of majorities but it’s the rest of us who suffer.

We deserve better than this shambolic shit pile of a so-called “government.”



Prince Andrew hails TV interview as “Great Success”

November 18, 2019


Universally regarded as a monumental car crash in “the rest of the world,” the Duke of York has told close confidantes that he feels completely vindicated as a result of his exclusive interview with Emily Maitlis on the BBC TV show ‘Newsnight.’

The Duke 59, is believed to be unaware of the worldwide outrage that erupted over his lack of sympathy for the victims of Jeffrey Epstein, his former friend and convicted sex offender who died in August awaiting trial for sex trafficking.

He was also ridiculed over his repeated denials of any sexual relationship with then 17-year-old Virginia Roberts, claiming that on the night she alleges she was sexually assaulted by the Duke after some sweaty dancing at the Tramp nightclub he was in fact busy having pizza with his family.


“I don’t sweat” claims the Duke

Bizarrely, the Duke insisted Roberts’ claim must be false as, at that time, he had a unique medical condition that prevented him from perspiring.

“I have a unique medical condition that means I can’t sweat,” said the Duke. Unfortunately the same medical condition has the side effect of making his eyes look totally fkn mollied but only after dark, apparently.

He also insisted that a photo showing the Duke with his arms around the alleged teenage victim must be ‘doctored,’ and that no one could prove otherwise.


The photo Prince Andrew claims is a fake.

“I am not one to, as it were, hug and public displays of affection are not something that I do,” he said.


Prince Andrew: “I don’t know why I’ve collected that title because I never have really partied,” he said.


Sadly, the royal’s pal said his aides do not “have the heart” to tell him how badly it has gone down.

“He’s told his friends and advisers he is delighted because he thought he acquitted himself well.”

“He seriously believes he’s pulled off a master triumph. It’s astonishing.”

“No one has the heart to tell him that he’s delusional — and this is the overall problem. He’s surrounded by people who tell him what he wants to hear.”

The Buckingham Palace grilling has sparked a furious backlash, with PR experts stunned he agreed to it.

David Cameron’s former spokesman Craig Oliver said:

“It will go down as one of the worst PR decisions ever — proof you really can make things a lot worse when you try to explain yourself.’’



The right to Protest and Boycott are basic tenets of our democracy

November 1, 2019

A photo of Victoria Police Officer taken yesterday, who has covered his bodycam with a sticker that reads “EAD (Eat a Dick) Hippy”

Not content with maligning unemployed people as drug addicts and pensioners as ‘welfare’ recipients, the Morrison government is determined to further subjugate Australians into submission with calls by the PM to ban the perfectly legitimate right for consumers to boycott businesses whose conduct goes against their personal ethics or principles.

Earlier today the PM called protesters “anarchists” and called for a radical crackdown on the right to protest saying ‘progressives’ are seeking to “deny the liberties of Australians”.

Morrison referred to the “worrying development” of environmental groups targeting businesses or firms involved in the mining sector with “secondary boycotts,” such as businesses involved in providing banking, insurance or consultancy services.

“They are targeting businesses of all sizes, including small businesses, like contracting businesses in regional Queensland,” he said.

“Let me assure you this is not something my government intends to allow to go unchecked.”

“Together with the attorney general, we are working to identify mechanisms that can successfully outlaw these indulgent and selfish practices that threaten the livelihoods of fellow Australians.”


The right to boycott is a basic principle of democratic liberalism. Only authoritarians would challenge the inherent right of business owners and consumers to withdraw custom from any business and to explain to that business and the community why it’s happening.

Why should we as consumers be compelled to support businesses that damage the environment and the health and wellbeing of future generations?

Not to be outdone, the avuncular Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton, announced that he wants protesters to be charged for the cost of police to attend demonstrations.

“Many of them they don’t even believe in democracy,” said Dutton

“This is not about free speech, it’s not about the ability to protest. These people are completely against our way of life,” he said.

Which is a bit of a stretch.

It seems this government won’t be satisfied until we’re all just bludgeoned into silent obedient taxpayers funding their police state.  The “quiet Australians” as Morrison would say. Fuck that.



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