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Internal War Erupts as the Liberals go Postal over Same Sex Marriage!

August 3, 2017


The far right and marginally less far right of the Liberal Party are set to slog out the battle over same sex marriage at a meeting that’s been hastily convened by so-called “leader” Malcolm Turnbull.

The Canberra show down is set for Monday at 4:00pm.

Bizarrely, but perhaps not unsurprisingly, given his propensity to buckle under the slightest hint of pressure with the intestinal fortitude of a damp lettuce leaf, Talcum, as he is affectionately known amongst the velvet slipper and twin-set brigade of inner Wentworth, has decreed that he won’t actually participate in the meeting.

Instead he’ll leave the actual bloodletting to take place between Liberal moderates led by same sex marriage advocate Warren Entsch and the barely repressed rabid mongrels on the right spearheaded by Tony Abbott and Eric Abetz.

Leadership aspirant, and who we may as well call the Prime Minister anyway, given that the incumbent has more or less given up on the role, the always affable Peter Dutton has suggested that the whole thing go postal, a clever ruse to give those most likely to oppose same sex marriage – crusty old middle class Coalition-voting property owners – a greater sway in influencing the result.

Of course, the postal vote still carries the risk of being influenced by ‘public opinion’ or what’s commonly known as democracy, so plan B is to simply ignore the postal plebiscite should it not deliver the outcome the antediluvian homophobes are hoping for.

Which makes you wonder why a $40 million postal vote is being considered in the first place.

The fact that it’s supported by the likes of Dutton, Abetz and Abbott sends a clear signal that it’s designed to deliver a “NO” outcome.

Of course, the hilarity in all of this, has to be when former Prime Minister Tony Abbott insisted earlier this week that a failure to deliver the plebiscite would be “breaking a pact with the electorate to honour an election promise.” Humour isn’t Abbott’s strong point but the irony was lost on him.

Since that brain fart, it’s been revealed that Abbott previously declared that the plebiscite was “dead, buried and cremated” when it failed to win parliamentary approval last time around. So it’s kind of odd, but not surprising, that he’s thrown his support behind it, given that the alternative is the shocking possibility that MPs could actually do what they’re elected to do and have a free vote in Parliament.

The whole thing’s spiralling out of control with senior sources telling The Gutter Trash that even if this issue can be settled and the moderates placated, the party will plunge headlong into another split, this time over energy and with the conservatives leading the revolt.

In the interim, I suggest investing in popcorn shares.



It’s a fucken Scandal that this isn’t a bigger fucken Scandal..!

August 1, 2017


The following article is by John Birmingham and originally appeared at Fairfax

Pay TV?  We’re all paying for Foxtel – to the tune of $30 million.

It’s hard to believe, but it looks like the Turnbull government is going to get away with its $30 million backhander to Rupert Murdoch.

I know life comes at you fast these days, but it seems odd that the story of the undocumented grant to Foxtel is going to recede into the fog of winter.

That would be a shame. So let’s remind ourselves of this delicious little scandal before it disappears down the memory hole forever.

Less than two weeks ago the ABC made an FOI application for documents relating to a $30 million grant to Murdoch’s pay TV business.

The money, to be paid over two years, was to “support the broadcast of underrepresented sports … including women’s sports, niche sports, and sports with a high level of community involvement and participation”.

The socialist troublemakers at the ABC were presumably hoping to turn up some tasty little nuggets of information about how Murdoch might spend the money and how the decision was reached to fatten his wallet instead of, say, the ABC or SBS, which exist in part to do exactly this sort of work.

Foxtel is a large, wealthy private business, and it did just score a sweet 30 million, so it seems reasonable that they should explain what they intend to do with your money.

But they haven’t yet, and seem disinclined to do so any time soon.

The government, always keen to keep onside with the maximum Sith Lord, is likewise refusing to explain how it came to gift a media giant that doesn’t pay any tax, with a lazy 30 million dollars lifted from the back pockets of those long-suffering mug punters who do.

The Communications Minister Mitch Fifield mumbled that, “This was a decision of government, announced in the budget as part of the media reform package”, which is the equivalent of saying “This was a decision to give Rupert some money, announced in the budget as part of our plans to give Rupert some money.”

This just in … Rupe’s not short of a quid. Foxtel might be suffering from the arrival of much cheaper and arguably better streaming services such as Netflix and Stan, but the solution to that problem isn’t corporate welfare. It’s providing a better service at a reasonable price.

Given that Foxtel, like all Murdoch companies, is something of a black box – billions of dollars flow in, no discernible tax payments leak out – it’s unlikely we’ll ever know what became of that $30 million.

But it’s weird, don’t you think, that there’s not a single document anywhere in Canberra that explains how they came to trouser it in the first place.



At The Movies: War for the Planet of the Apes

July 31, 2017


And here we have another scintillating installation in our sporadic series of home grown movie reviews specifically designed for the attention span challenged.

So yesterday The Gutter Trash went along to see the third instalment in the Planet of The Apes saga.

Caesar dies in the end.

The end.


*Spoiler alert: This movie review may contain significant plot reveals.


It’s War! Abbott tells Turnbull “I’m not going anywhere!”

June 29, 2017


He’s never really disappeared off the scene but Tony Abbott’s rabid display of treachery and butt-thuggery in the form of his so-called “manifesto” a 10-point plan that Tony is convinced is precisely what the Liberal Party needs right now in order to win the next election convincingly and in such a way that recreates a vision of a white washed Australia from the 1950’s complete with hills hoist in the yard and a bucket of nappies in the laundry.

It takes a certain level of self-delusion to be so utterly convinced that an individual who was heading for electoral annihilation only a few short years ago, should suddenly think that doubling down on the policies that made him so completely unelectable then, should now offer the hope of salvation, and apparently just what the doctor ordered to rescue Australia from the growing left wing threat.

But then Abbott’s is a most unique mind.

With a cavalcade of successive polls suggesting that the Coalition is heading for certain defeat at the next election it’s no wonder tensions are reaching boiling point within the ranks of the Liberal party, with the pent up hatred they usually reserve for the electorate and Labor now being visibly directed towards each other.

It’s delicious to witness. What with the crusty old conservative religious freaks of Abetz, Andrews and Abbott carrying on as though they represent the undying dignity of traditional Liberal values (whatever they are) launching an all-out assault on the flamboyant and comparatively progressive Christopher Pyne over his remarks that gay marriage will become a reality sooner rather than later.

Who hasn’t grabbed a microphone at some royal old piss up in a public venue after a few sherbets only to utter a few words one may live to regret, but for Chrissy to claim that it was a private conversation that was leaked is simply laughable. It was broadcast over the venue’s PA system FFS.

At any rate, it all makes for remarkable entertainment, but it certainly makes one wonder “how long can this sorry charade go on?”




The Liberal Party’s “Patriot Games”

June 15, 2017


Malcolm Turnbull and Tony “there will be no undermining, no sniping” Abbott are not just at each other’s throats again they’re foisting a testosterone fuelled assault on the Australian public over who can be the most “patriotic” (whatever that is).

Earlier this week, President Trumble issued a decree that all new citizens should become ‘Australian patriots’ to advance the nation’s efforts to “stamp out terrorism.”

Mr Trumble told parliament Australia is “not immune” from the global impact of the conflicts in the Middle East and instability around the world and that more needed to be done at home to quell this ominous threat.

‘We lead our Australian way of life on our terms. We will not buckle or be cowed by this scourge of Islamist terrorism,’ he said with clenched fists.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and with the Prime Minister languishing in successive polls, feeble posturing over so-called “national security concerns” soon become the all too familiar refrain of a PM under siege.

As one astute observer noted; more Australians have died falling off a ladder than killed by terrorism in the last 20 years.

However, not to be outdone, Tony Abbott and leadership aspirant Peter Dutton, both ramped up the hysteria over asylum seekers to eleventy, following the Government’s decision to settle a class action lawsuit brought by 1905 men who say they were mistreated while held in captivity on Manus Island.

Dutton and Abbott lashed out at; their own Government’s decision; the law firm Slater and Gordon; and the victims of the mistreatment, while enthusiastically absolving themselves of any wrongdoing.

“The settlement is not an admission of wrongdoing from the Australian government,” Dutton said, adding that the Commonwealth “strongly refutes and denies the claims made in these proceedings”.

But you know, let’s settle the claim all the same.

Which would otherwise be considered an admission of guilt back in what’s ostensibly called “the real world.”

Meanwhile, Tony Abbott entered the fray to add his two-cents worth; declaring that the payout “looks like a windfall for people who unfairly took advantage of our nation’s generosity.”

“Generosity” being; locked up in some god-forsaken hellhole indefinitely and repeatedly subjected to physical and psychological abuse.

“We’ve got a judiciary that takes the side of the so-called victim rather than the side of common sense,” added the mad monk.

Asked if people’s claims of physical and mental injury on Manus Island might be genuine, Abbott says “I doubt it very much”.

If the Liberals party’s idea of being “a patriot” is simply being a cunt. They’ve got it in bucket loads.




Pauline Hanson is “Disgusted!”

May 30, 2017


One Nation leader Pauline Hanson says the coverage of new secret recording of party discussions is “disgusting”.

The Australian Electoral Commission is looking at whether disclosure laws were breached, after an allegation a property developer paid for a light aircraft the party used during the election campaign.

In a phone recording, Senator Hanson can be heard raising concerns about a journalist linking the developer to the plane.

Senator Hanson’s dismissed questions about the recording.

She’s not happy with the questions asked outside Parliament House this morning either:

I cannot believe you would ask me some stupid questions like that when I have had a gentleman who’s been shot dead in his electorate, we have people homeless in the cold weather like this, we have the state of this country and you’re worried about that from some disgruntled people?

I think it’s disgusting.

Honey, we stuffed the Economy.

May 17, 2017


There’s an almost endless list of examples you can point to as evidence of the Coalition’s abject incompetence since claiming the adults were in back in charge, however none will come close to slapping the banks with a debt levy.

While on the surface, it may seem like a “good thing” given that so many of us have a “hate-hate” relationship with the Big Four and their cartel-like behaviour in shifting interest rates to whatever flight or fancy takes their whim, however the stark reality is that, as past behaviour attests, they’ll simply shift the costs of the bank levy onto the consumer – you and I.

So expect interest rates to rise in direct correlation to the financial impost they will incur as the bank levy invariably passes through the Senate.

And this will simply send the economy into a downward spiral. Households will be forced to cut back on retail spending, which will see the economy contract. This will spur business owners into further pleas for more wage cuts sorry, I mean “workplace flexibility” (in addition to the recent penalty rates cuts), which will curtail retail spending further when those employees can no longer afford life’s basic necessities.

Recent stats show that 1 in 5 households are already in mortgage stress. So there’s going to be carnage when interest rates inevitably head northwards.

The Coalition squibbed the opportunity to do anything about housing affordability in the recent budget. Now they’ve gone and done the unthinkable – they’ve actually pulled the trigger on the very thing that’s going to propel interest rates higher.

But of course, if you own your own harbourside mansion at Point Piper debt-free, then you’ll be completely unaffected, while the banks continue to reap billion dollar profits and are set to receive a multi-billion dollar handout for their trouble.

Perhaps that was the idea all along.

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