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It’s War! Abbott tells Turnbull “I’m not going anywhere!”

June 29, 2017


He’s never really disappeared off the scene but Tony Abbott’s rabid display of treachery and butt-thuggery in the form of his so-called “manifesto” a 10-point plan that Tony is convinced is precisely what the Liberal Party needs right now in order to win the next election convincingly and in such a way that recreates a vision of a white washed Australia from the 1950’s complete with hills hoist in the yard and a bucket of nappies in the laundry.

It takes a certain level of self-delusion to be so utterly convinced that an individual who was heading for electoral annihilation only a few short years ago, should suddenly think that doubling down on the policies that made him so completely unelectable then, should now offer the hope of salvation, and apparently just what the doctor ordered to rescue Australia from the growing left wing threat.

But then Abbott’s is a most unique mind.

With a cavalcade of successive polls suggesting that the Coalition is heading for certain defeat at the next election it’s no wonder tensions are reaching boiling point within the ranks of the Liberal party, with the pent up hatred they usually reserve for the electorate and Labor now being visibly directed towards each other.

It’s delicious to witness. What with the crusty old conservative religious freaks of Abetz, Andrews and Abbott carrying on as though they represent the undying dignity of traditional Liberal values (whatever they are) launching an all-out assault on the flamboyant and comparatively progressive Christopher Pyne over his remarks that gay marriage will become a reality sooner rather than later.

Who hasn’t grabbed a microphone at some royal old piss up in a public venue after a few sherbets only to utter a few words one may live to regret, but for Chrissy to claim that it was a private conversation that was leaked is simply laughable. It was broadcast over the venue’s PA system FFS.

At any rate, it all makes for remarkable entertainment, but it certainly makes one wonder “how long can this sorry charade go on?”





The Liberal Party’s “Patriot Games”

June 15, 2017


Malcolm Turnbull and Tony “there will be no undermining, no sniping” Abbott are not just at each other’s throats again they’re foisting a testosterone fuelled assault on the Australian public over who can be the most “patriotic” (whatever that is).

Earlier this week, President Trumble issued a decree that all new citizens should become ‘Australian patriots’ to advance the nation’s efforts to “stamp out terrorism.”

Mr Trumble told parliament Australia is “not immune” from the global impact of the conflicts in the Middle East and instability around the world and that more needed to be done at home to quell this ominous threat.

‘We lead our Australian way of life on our terms. We will not buckle or be cowed by this scourge of Islamist terrorism,’ he said with clenched fists.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and with the Prime Minister languishing in successive polls, feeble posturing over so-called “national security concerns” soon become the all too familiar refrain of a PM under siege.

As one astute observer noted; more Australians have died falling off a ladder than killed by terrorism in the last 20 years.

However, not to be outdone, Tony Abbott and leadership aspirant Peter Dutton, both ramped up the hysteria over asylum seekers to eleventy, following the Government’s decision to settle a class action lawsuit brought by 1905 men who say they were mistreated while held in captivity on Manus Island.

Dutton and Abbott lashed out at; their own Government’s decision; the law firm Slater and Gordon; and the victims of the mistreatment, while enthusiastically absolving themselves of any wrongdoing.

“The settlement is not an admission of wrongdoing from the Australian government,” Dutton said, adding that the Commonwealth “strongly refutes and denies the claims made in these proceedings”.

But you know, let’s settle the claim all the same.

Which would otherwise be considered an admission of guilt back in what’s ostensibly called “the real world.”

Meanwhile, Tony Abbott entered the fray to add his two-cents worth; declaring that the payout “looks like a windfall for people who unfairly took advantage of our nation’s generosity.”

“Generosity” being; locked up in some god-forsaken hellhole indefinitely and repeatedly subjected to physical and psychological abuse.

“We’ve got a judiciary that takes the side of the so-called victim rather than the side of common sense,” added the mad monk.

Asked if people’s claims of physical and mental injury on Manus Island might be genuine, Abbott says “I doubt it very much”.

If the Liberals party’s idea of being “a patriot” is simply being a cunt. They’ve got it in bucket loads.




Pauline Hanson is “Disgusted!”

May 30, 2017


One Nation leader Pauline Hanson says the coverage of new secret recording of party discussions is “disgusting”.

The Australian Electoral Commission is looking at whether disclosure laws were breached, after an allegation a property developer paid for a light aircraft the party used during the election campaign.

In a phone recording, Senator Hanson can be heard raising concerns about a journalist linking the developer to the plane.

Senator Hanson’s dismissed questions about the recording.

She’s not happy with the questions asked outside Parliament House this morning either:

I cannot believe you would ask me some stupid questions like that when I have had a gentleman who’s been shot dead in his electorate, we have people homeless in the cold weather like this, we have the state of this country and you’re worried about that from some disgruntled people?

I think it’s disgusting.

Honey, we stuffed the Economy.

May 17, 2017


There’s an almost endless list of examples you can point to as evidence of the Coalition’s abject incompetence since claiming the adults were in back in charge, however none will come close to slapping the banks with a debt levy.

While on the surface, it may seem like a “good thing” given that so many of us have a “hate-hate” relationship with the Big Four and their cartel-like behaviour in shifting interest rates to whatever flight or fancy takes their whim, however the stark reality is that, as past behaviour attests, they’ll simply shift the costs of the bank levy onto the consumer – you and I.

So expect interest rates to rise in direct correlation to the financial impost they will incur as the bank levy invariably passes through the Senate.

And this will simply send the economy into a downward spiral. Households will be forced to cut back on retail spending, which will see the economy contract. This will spur business owners into further pleas for more wage cuts sorry, I mean “workplace flexibility” (in addition to the recent penalty rates cuts), which will curtail retail spending further when those employees can no longer afford life’s basic necessities.

Recent stats show that 1 in 5 households are already in mortgage stress. So there’s going to be carnage when interest rates inevitably head northwards.

The Coalition squibbed the opportunity to do anything about housing affordability in the recent budget. Now they’ve gone and done the unthinkable – they’ve actually pulled the trigger on the very thing that’s going to propel interest rates higher.

But of course, if you own your own harbourside mansion at Point Piper debt-free, then you’ll be completely unaffected, while the banks continue to reap billion dollar profits and are set to receive a multi-billion dollar handout for their trouble.

Perhaps that was the idea all along.

Drug Accused: “I thought it was banana bread”

May 2, 2017


Not so hot-on-the-heels of our intrepid series of sordid drug smuggling scandals ostensibly dubbed “MY SCHAPELLE HELL,” the Australian travelling public has once again delivered another drug-fuelled tale of woe in the form of alleged drug smuggler Cassandra Sainsbury.

The story begins like this. Cassandra, a 22 year old Personal Trainer and Country Fire Service volunteer decided that, while saving for her forthcoming wedding,  it would be a good idea to visit Colombia, the world’s largest producer of cocaine on a so-called “working holiday.”

And why not? Adelaide to Bogota airport is a mere 23 hours away in travelling time, not to mention those enjoyable hours spent checking-in, sitting in transit and so on.

According to her own account of events, upon arrival, Ms Sainsbury was befriended by a “good samaritan” who offered to “show her around” and act as a “translator” during her stay.

Cassandra’s mother says that the nice man had been “helping her all week, taking her around and showing her places, and just being a nice guy.”

Good friends are hard to find, and when Cassandra mentioned that she’d like to buy some headphones as wedding gifts for friends back home, the benevolent translator apparently managed to obtain them at a bargain price with free gift wrapping thrown in to boot.

Your average punter may have baulked at the shoddy black plastic wrapping but heck they were cheap, and perhaps maybe it was just banana bread, a lump of coal, or some other suitable gift.

Not to be deterred, Cassandra stuffed the lot into her suitcase and trotted off to the airport where surprise of all surprises she was found to be hauling a suitcase full of charlie.

A couple of other things have since emerged.  Cassandra, hasn’t apparently volunteered for the CFS since 2014 and they have requested that her family take down the reference to the organisation from the crowd-funding page set up by Cassandra’s family.

A CFS spokesman said: “she is a former member of the Warooka Brigade and ended her service in July 2014”.

The president of the CFS Volunteers’ Association, Andy Wood, said he did not know Ms Sainsbury.

Nor has she been working as a PT for the last six months.

Her family insist she was set up, but Colombian police said her arrest was undistinguishable from a growing number of drug cases involving foreigners.

The 22-year-old was preparing to board a flight to London on her way back to Australia, which is kind of a long haul journey for a one week holiday.

Dutton doubles down on Asylum Seeker fibs.

April 23, 2017


The Immigration Minister, and would be leadership aspirant Peter Dutton maintains that the possible sexual assault of a five year old boy on Manus Island was the underlying cause of a recent disturbance despite the unfounded allegation being directly contradicted by the Chief police officer David Yapu and detainees at the centre.

When questioned by the ABC’s Barrie Cassidy over the veracity of Dutton’s sources when it was revealed that the boy was in fact 10 years old and not five, and willingly entered the centre to seek and receive some food rather than being led away against his will, Dutton lashed out at Cassidy accusing him of “getting his information from twitter.”

Dutton insists that the incident involving the child, and a separate sexual assault, contributed to elevating the “mood” on Manus Island before the violence.

“I have that on very good authority on the island,” he said.

“The parents of the boy involved in the incident might have a different view to the one that you have read off tweets.”

Last week he said: “I think there was concern about why the boy was being led, or for what purpose he was being led, away back into the regional processing centre.”

“I think it’s fair to say that the mood had elevated quite quickly. I think some of the local residents were quite angry about this particular incident and another alleged sexual assault,” he said.

Dutton was asked whether, given the police chief’s account, he now accepted he had got some of the information he shared last week badly wrong.

“No, I do not,” he said.

Dutton, a former cop from Queensland, protested that the police investigation should be allowed to run its course, despite fronting the media last week to offer his version of events that suggested the unrest occurred due asylum seekers enticing the boy to enter the facility ostensibly for nefarious purposes.

Dutton has form in blaming asylum seekers for many of the problems on offshore detention centres, however his blatant lies over this latest incident and attempts to paint asylum seekers as pedophiles have been exposed.

Surely his position must now be untenable.

Whether we see any recourse from a Prime Minister who is already in dire straits remains to be seen, but I doubt it.

New Poll: Coalition faces election wipeout!

March 27, 2017


Malcolm Turnbull has taken another hammering in the polls with the latest Fairfax Ipsos poll showing that Labor has opened up a 10 point lead against the government on the election-deciding two-party preferred stakes.  Labor now leads the Coalition by 55 per cent to 45 per cent.

Had an election been held on Saturday, the government would have suffered a catastrophic wipeout losing 24 seats with the moronic Peter Dutton (rumoured to be considered “leadership material” amongst the LNP faithful) being one of the casualties.

It’s almost as if the public don’t like the idea of their penalty rates being slashed, or an apparent inability to appreciate how important it is for society to allow racists to spurt hatred without fear of retribution.

The figures are particularly damaging for Talcum as they are worse than the figures he used to depose Tony Abbott as leader back in 2015.

Loyal deputy Julie Bishop, took a short break from her ministerial duties of hosting cocktail parties and fashion parades to lend her support to Turnbull’s leadership.

“The party room has his complete support,’” she said.

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