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Gladys Live at ICAC: The Live Stream event!

October 18, 2021

For those interested in watching the slow moving train wreck that is the ICAC proceedings of “unlucky in love” Gladys Berejiklian, you can tune in here:

Barnaby and Scott: Battle of the Boofheads

October 18, 2021

Things are not rosy in the garden of the Coalition.

Leader of the Nationals and Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce is insisting he won’t be held to ransom over Scott Morrison’s desire to take some sort of commitment to the Glasgow summit on climate change in less than two weeks.

Barnaby, whose prose is largely indecipherable at the best of times, said through an interpreter that they, “the Nationals,” reserved the right to reject any proposed emissions plan without being given proper time to consider it.

It’s a fair point. They’ve only been in government for 8 years and these things don’t happen overnight, ‘little lone’ after a four-hour boozy lunch meeting over the weekend.

In one of his more lucid moments, Barnaby yelped “we’re not chained to a script. We have our own party and our own party room for a distinct purpose – that at times we have variance of views, we have divergent views and we have different views.”

What those views are remains a mystery, given that many of their constituents in the agricultural industry are desperate for action on climate change.

“If we ever believed that we were being sort of threatened or pushed or stood over, I know what the outcome of that position is – the people (ie ‘me’) just say, ‘no’,” he told The Gutter Trash.

Deputy Nationals leader David Littleproud held a similar view, saying it was “a very complex issue” and claimed it’d be “reckless” for the party to sign up to something without considering the detail.

Weekend Gab Fest!

October 1, 2021

Hello and good morning!

I was going to say the usual ‘here is an open thread post where you can talk about whatever you like’ but you do that anyway so I suppose I don’t need to bother.

Have a lovely weekend.

AFL Grand Final Preview with Tom of Melbourne!

September 17, 2021

The inimitable Tom of Melbourne returns with his annual AFL Grand Final Footy Preview…!

It’s appropriate that plague-stricken Melbourne would assign one of its most significant cultural and sporting events to Australia’s most culturally deficient city, Perth.

It is a city populated by semi-literate (even semi-lingual) misfits.

Perth is the most isolated city in the world and the civilised parts of the country are happy with that.

Brisbane isn’t far behind Perth in per capita misfits and semi literacy, but they are within a 2 hours drive of civilisation, ie the NSW border.

And the game – it’s the Dogs vs Demons – represents the contest between workers and wankers, it’s the board room vs the boiler room, or the industrial west against Collins Street. 

The Melbourne Demons represent a privileged demographic, not a locality. They should be known at the Melbourne Club (Football Sub-branch).

The supporters of the club are tax-avoiding stockbrokers and wine tossers, who vacation in Aspen.

The Dogs represent Melbourne’s industrial heartland, people that have real jobs, those that drink beer and holiday in caravans.

It is the beach house in Portsea vs the caravan in Dromana, it’s Penfolds Bin 707 vs Vic Bitter, it’s lunch at Florintino’s on Bourke St vs takeaway from Jimmy Wong’s on Barkley Street, it’s a leased Range Rover vs a 2002 Camry, it’s Melbourne Grammar vs Footscray Tech.

This is a game between Toorak and Altona, between the ruling class and the working class.

Finally the ruling class are the losers and it’s the Dogs by 4 goals! 

Go Bulldogs!

Gladys Berejiklian: The Premier who wasn’t There

September 10, 2021

The NSW State Premier Gladys Berejiklian has announced that she will “no longer be available” to answer any questions about case numbers, hospitalisations or deaths instead opting to address the public “intermittently” on what she has called an “as needs” basis. Or in other words, when she can be bothered.

The decision comes as New South Wales is expected to enter its peak period for Covid deaths and hospitalisations as the State prepares to ease restrictions despite clocking up a record breaking 1,542 new infections and nine deaths overnight and a 7-day average exceeding 1,400.

Defending her decision Ms Berejiklian said: “I will turn up when I need to but to expect the leader of the government indefinitely to do this every day means that I am not doing my job properly.” she said.

“In all honesty, I really can’t be fucked anymore,” she added.

Living next door to Gladys

August 27, 2021

In case you haven’t noticed yet, the Coronavirus is now running ‘out of control’ across New South Wales.

However you wouldn’t know it from the press conferences attended by the Premier for New South Wales, Gladys Berejiklian, the Deputy Premier John Barilaro, Minister for Health Brad Hazzard and the Chief Health Officer Dr Kerry Chant.

Today, Gladys was decidedly upbeat declaring she was ‘super excited’ with the numbers, announcing 882 cases and 2 deaths in the past 24 hours.

“Pleasingly,” she said five times within five minutes, this was not an absolute fuck-up of momentous proportions as we might be inclined to believe, but rather a cause for celebration, as schools will begin to re-open from October 25.

This may be great news for parents bemoaning the burden of home-schooling. Not so good for the two people who died overnight.

Scott Morrison has been similarly upbeat and consistent with his messaging declaring that lockdowns were an abomination when Melbourne was impacted, then a necessary and effective strategy when Sydney went into lockdown, but now an abomination again.

It’s hard to keep up.

One thing is for sure though. This has been an unmitigated fkn disaster and it’s entirely due to the incompetence of Morrison and Berejiklian.

Here’s what I learned today from Gladys Berejiklian

July 27, 2021

I generally don’t tune in to Gladys Berejiklian media appearances mainly because she doesn’t really interest me all that much and she seems a bit too close to Scott Morrison for my liking.

However, with the escalating Covid situation in Sydney and the State government’s fairly casual approach to controlling the movement of people – one of the main causes of person to person transmission of the virus – and general reluctance to impose anything that might inconvenience the proprietors of high-end fashion outlets and retailers of homewares and whitegoods, my interest was shall we say ‘piqued.’

So, this morning I was transfixed to my screen to witness the NSW State Premier attempt to explain away the absolute ‘clusterfuck’ that’s currently unfolding in NSW as something that, and I quote: “Could have been a lot worse had we not acted when we did”.

The mood in the room was palpable. The media (well some of them) were baying for blood, demanding to know why NSW hadn’t gone harder, sooner but Gladys remained unflappable.

She may not be the most charismatic of individuals but she’s certainly amongst the most delusional.

In the wake of 172 new cases with at least 60 actively circulating in the community while infectious, the Premier had little to offer other than platitudes. In one moment saying she wasn’t going to comment on other States, then bagging out Victoria for having five lockdowns the next.

But the most extraordinary aspect of her entire performance was that it was perfectly clear that neither the Premier nor her Health Minister Brad Hazzard have a concrete plan to navigate NSW out of its current crisis.

Hazzard rambled on about other States not helping out or something, while glassy-eyed Gladys appeared to be lost in another dimension altogether.

Blissfully ignoring the cavalcade of questions from journos, she deflected to congratulating the many ‘frontline’ workers who are working tirelessly to ‘bring the spread of the virus’ under control.

Confronted with allegations of complacency and incompetence, Gladys felt she was in fact there to accept some kind of academy award, interrupting the press pack to acknowledge those who have contributed to her success.

“Please, please . . “

“Can I just say…”

“Thank you to those…..”

“And can I just say . . . “

“Can I be honest . . And I also want to say thank you to . . .”

I accept that Sydney is some distance from where I live in Melbourne, but this was parallel universe stuff.

Although, it appears to the same universe that that baldy-headed fuckwit and personality-deprived host of Channel 7’s Sunrise show ‘David Koch” inhabits.

Only yesterday, he “interviewed” Gladys Berejiklian, and bemoaned “it feels like we’ve all let you down.”

I mean what the actual fuck…??

The Morrison Govt’s Covid response is nothing short of a fucking disgrace!

June 29, 2021


THE INSIPID so-called “journalist” Michael Rowland, over at what used to be one of the ABC’s ‘flagship’ news programs “News Breakfast” but now more resembling a low-rent ‘magazine/lifestyle’ show chaired by the vacuous Lisa Miller, has taken to twitter to ‘congratulate’ the Morrison government and Health Minister Greg “rhyming slang” Hunt for his monumental achievement that a remarkable 7.1% of Australians are now fully vaccinated.

Rowland could barely contain his excitement, declaring that while the figure is ‘not great’ it was good to have the update from the Health Minister.

Are you fucking kidding me??

The Morrison government has had 18 months to get its act together, firstly with organising a national, coordinated approach to constructing purpose-built quarantine facilities within arm’s reach of Australia’s international airports and secondly by ordering sufficient quantities of vaccine.

But here we are, almost two years later with neither, and yet the media give Morrison and his incompetent rabble a free pass.

As the chart above shows, as at 27, June 47% of people in USA are fully vaccinated while in the UK it’s just shy of 50%.

For the mainstream media to be ‘congratulating’ the Morrison govt for achieving a paltry 7% while other developing nations are beginning to open up while we’re being flung back into lockdown illustrates how poorly we are served by those whose mandate should be to hold those in power to account.

If you don’t know what that is, I’ll give you a hint…


“Paranoid” Ben Roberts-Smith sets things on Fire!

June 24, 2021

Decorated soldier Ben Roberts-Smith has told a packed courtroom that he poured petrol on his laptop and set it on fire because this is something “he does all the time” citing two other occasions where he destroyed other computer equipment in this fashion.

You see, according to Mr Roberts-Smith, these are not the actions of someone with something to hide, but rather the perfectly reasonable behaviour of someone who prefers to destroy items of value in a hailstorm of napalm instead of say, restoring factory settings, cleaning the hard drive and selling on Gumtree.

I mean, it’s not like he concealed photographic evidence – stored on a USB key – and buried it in his backyard in a pink lunchbox, or threatened potential witnesses, or hired a private investigator to stalk his ex-wife.

No, those would be the actions of a paranoid individual who knows he’s well up shit creek and approaches uncomfortable situations with threats of violence, intimidation and a self-assured sense of invincibility and hero-machismo. A bit like what cadets are taught in the army.

James ” Cuddles” Hennessey. The Private Investigator Ben Roberts-Smith hired to tail his ex-wife

Defence barrister for Nine Entertainment Co, Nicholas Owens SC, had similar questions.

“Why did you burn your hard drive with petrol?” Mr Owens asked.

“If I’m not going to trade a computer in, then I always destroy the hard drive, said Roberts-Smith . 

“It’s just the nature of knowing how people take things off your hard drive.”

To be fair, who amongst us hasn’t set fire to our belongings ‘just for the hell of it’ or before trading them in?

I took my car to the local Mazda dealer last week for an upgrade, and much to my surprise wasn’t treated seriously.

How much d’ya reckon she’s worth?

The bizarre life and times of Christian Porter

June 3, 2021

The former Attorney General Christian Porter fronted the media earlier this week to claim victory over his defamation case against the ABC despite requesting a mediation hearing and dropping his legal action.

It was a bizarre performance where he claimed that the “ABC was no longer going to defend the case” which is kind of stating the obvious if you’re abandoning your legal action.

No amount of spin or bluster can disguise the fact that the withdrawal of his defamation claim against the ABC is a victory for the public broadcaster, and an embarrassing backdown for Christian Porter.

Despite originally seeking damages and an apology, it is understood Porter later approached the ABC for a relatively modest financial settlement without an apology or a retraction of the article, which the ABC rejected.

To this day, the ABC stands by the article and its journalism.

Porter didn’t have to withdraw his suit. He did so in exchange for an unremarkable statement of the obvious from the ABC, that “some readers of the article” in question may have incorrectly interpreted it as an accusation of guilt.

Hardly a startling revelation or capitulation.

In summary:

  • Christian Porter withdraws case.
  • ABC pays zero damages to Porter.
  • Article about allegations against Porter remains online.
  • No apology from the ABC to Porter.
  • No backing down by the ABC.
  • ABC says it stands by the article.

In case any non-legal types are confused, “settling” a case that you started, and getting no money is more accurately called losing.

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