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AFL Footy Final Fever with Tom of Melbourne!

September 28, 2015


Well it’s that time of year! When big brutal boofheads go head to head with their opponents, and in the case of some supporters in Perth, that includes punching a woman who happened to be trying to watch a game of football with her kids. Or booing champion person, indigenous advocate and footballer Adam Goodes in his last game.

This week hordes of “those people” descend on sophisticated Melbourne as the West Coast Eagles do battle with gentlemen from Melbourne’s leafy, affluent Hawthorn.

Home to law partners, up market real estate agents and quite nicely preserved bottle blond wives who get around in 4 wheel drive Mercedes.

Amazing as it seems, Hawthorn is also home to the world’s greatest density of “private school bully factories” (elite secondary schools). Despite all this hardship they have produced the most successful AFL team in the modern era.

It’s the representatives of this demographic against the drunk, tattooed, fly in/fly out miners and bogans in this year’s AFL Grand Final.

AFL fans recall with affection the good old days when Collingwood, Carlton, Essendon, Richmond, St Kilda, North Melbourne and Hawthorn were loathed by all sensible football supporters.

How times have changes and we’ve had to find a new level of detestation to accommodate the teams from Western Australia.

It clearly isn’t just the players and coaches either. It’s the fans that make the teams totally insufferable.

On the football field Hawthorn looks stronger with a range of brilliant big and small forwards to kick a winning score. Cyril Rioli to kick 5 and the Hawks to win by that margin.

…and tonight watch the Brownlow Medal for tacky taste tacked on.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 28, 2015 1:42 pm

    A profound and insightful article. Congratulations to The Guttertrash for publishing it!
    Apparently there is an NRL final on this weekend too. It involves 2 teams from Queensland playing in front of a (predicted) crowd of 4000 people in Sydney.

    No one with taste really cares who wins.

  2. TB Queensland permalink
    September 28, 2015 6:51 pm


    The NRL GRAND FINAL … WILL be played IN Sydney … because no teams from NSW or Mexico are capable of beating the two PREMIUM teams from QUEENSLAND!

    The BRISBANE BRONCOS led the NRL ladder for most of the year and walloped last years Premiers … Sydney Roosters!

    The NQ COWBOYS clobbered the Melbourne Storm at home in Mexico!

    This is real football played by real men against real men … for 40 minutes each way …

    Not wannabe’s in tight shorts and shirts with no sleeves running and jumping to try and catch a ball and then kick it … and slapping at each other as they run around a cricket pitch …

    These sooks are awarded a one point consolation goal if they miss the real goal … and then if they do score “properly” get six points just to make the final scores look high …

    They get tired after 25 minutes so they need a rest … and most of ’em should be playing basketball ’cause they spend most of their time bouncing the “football” …

    Even Jarryd Haynes wouldn’t play such a sooky game … he had to move to the USA to change codes …

    And fans don’t thump each other, abuse women and children, or boo Aboriginal (or any other race)because of their genealogy … most of the top players are blackfellas anyway!



  3. September 28, 2015 8:07 pm

    Go West Coast!

    Fuck Victorian AFL clubs, with a rake!

  4. September 28, 2015 8:11 pm

    NRL players piss in their own mouths and OD on hillbilly heroin.

    On top of that, they play a boring, unskilled fringe game, of interest to only two of the Eastern States & draw paltry crowds.

    Can’t kick, can’t catch.

  5. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 29, 2015 2:43 pm

    More compare and contrast-

    1. Note the more sophisticated WAGs of AFL players and their less boofhead partners

    2. The speech from Nat Fyfe vs that by Steve Thurston, was Thurston pissed or is her just naturally stupid? Nat Fyfe was quite well spoken

    Proof – NRL players are bogans with bogan WAGs.

  6. September 30, 2015 9:01 pm

    Nat Fyfe appears to be (and speaks like) a grounded young bloke who grew up well outside of a large metropolitan area.

    Rural > Metro-mensch

  7. Splatterbottom permalink
    October 1, 2015 10:20 am

    TBoss, (in the absence of a Rostrum thread) have you been watching the attempt by the establishment controllers of the Democrat and Republican parties to serve up another Klintoon v Bush presidential contest.

    I saw this, which explains the conservative support for Trump – they don’t really think he is in any way a principled conservative but the would prefer to lose with him than support a GOP establishment candidate:

    On the Democrat side the base would be happy with either Sanders or Warren on policy grounds, not just as disrupters.

  8. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    October 1, 2015 2:59 pm

    Everyone knew the Eagles were drug cheats during their glory years, with the pharmacist Worsfold at the helm. He’s now about to take over as coach at Essendon – how ironic.

    Fairness requires that the Eagles get thrashed for cheating to win premiership in the past.

    Having achieved his one-year drug-free anniversary, West Coast’s turbulent and troubled premiership hero Daniel Chick chose the eve of his former club’s next tilt at another flag to revisit one of the AFL’s most inglorious club scandals.

    The timing of Chick’s shocking revelations, many of which were being privately denied by the Eagles on Thursday, has clearly dismayed the club and the AFL neither of whom knew the story was coming nor were contacted before publication for a response.

    Those who have remained in touch with the worst offenders from that group of West Coast players believe their bitterness lies at least in no small part with their former coach John Worsfold who is now in the box seat to take over from James Hird at Essendon.

    Read more:

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