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An Open Letter to Joe Hockey

January 11, 2013

Dear Joe Hockey,

For reasons that remain a mystery, this morning I found myself pondering about how much you’ve changed over the years.

When I cast my mind back to the days prior to the 2007 election you were generally regarded as an affable, knock around guy who graced our TV screens every Friday morning with as yet Prime Minister to be Kevin Rudd.

Although you came from different sides of politics, the banter between you and Kevin was occasionally robust but always respectful.  It was a bond that appeared to be based in genuine friendship, no doubt aided when you traversed the Kokoda Trail together.

Of course all this changed when your political masters decided that the relationship was far too cosy for political foes and so the regular Friday morning segment with Kevin on the Today Show abruptly came to an end.

Not that that matters much of course.

What matters is the way in which you have become so ethically compromised since then.

You were always a bit hopeless with numbers, as evidenced by more than one performance at the National Press Club where you just went to pieces when pressed on the veracity of Coalition figures.

Oddly enough, the Australian public are fairly forgiving in that regard.

Who hasn’t delivered a speech they’ve later regretted, never mind one that was delivered on national television.

As long as there was affable Joe to deflect any pertinent criticism with an off the cuff remark or dismissive gag.

We’d forgive you and move on.

However all this has since changed, and the transition coincides with the moment your former boss and mentor, John Howard, handed you the poisoned chalice of WorkChoices.

A task that was given to you after your colleague, the irrepressible Kevin Andrews, was deemed not up for the job of selling the “benefits” of WorkChoices to the Australian public.

To be fair, anyone could see that Andrews was going to struggle in the positive-spin publicity department.

As Minister for Sneer and Resentment it was clear to everyone, well with the exception of then Prime Minister John Howard, that a mortuary-fresh luke-warm cadaver would do a better job of selling WorkChoices, which is why perhaps Mr Andrews was singled out for the job in the first place.

The lifeless figure of Kevin Andrews just doesn’t resonate with the Australian public as someone they can trust.  Heck even his hair is a lie.

John Howard, in his fairly limited wisdom, realised that the job needed someone with no moral compass. Someone who could stand in public and declare that black was white. Bad equals good.  A hapless goon who could deceive with a wink and a smile.  A goofy boofhead.  And there you were.

Even Howard could only muster the words “he’s an avuncular sort of fellow” when asked about his decision to give you the job.

And how things have changed since then.

Gone is the good-humoured and often kind-natured Joe Hockey of the pre-Labor government years.

Instead, you have become just another bitter and twisted carcass in the Coalition ranks, consumed with anger and contempt for any political policy or endevour that doesn’t bear the hallmarks of the Howard government.

It wouldn’t be so bad if there was some semblance of balance.  A degree of objectivity that might suggest that you’ve actually considered the merits of Labor government policy before categorically deriding it in the manner of your incumbent leader.

No, You’re just a hapless hollow shadow of the man you once were.  So much so that you seldom front the media at all these days other than to simply confirm how bitter and resentful you have become.

It’s a sad state of affairs for one who was once considered one of the more likeable personalities in Coalition ranks.

Alas it appears that you are now destined to become one of those ageing embittered jurassic members of the Liberal party, taking your place alongside Phllip Ruddock, Kevin Andrews and Bronwyn Bishop; those sorry individuals who have nothing left to offer other than a contemptuous grimace as they help themselves to another tax-payer funder sherry and chocolate swirl.

I suppose I should be a little sympathetic given that it is now clear that your leadership aspirations are effectively over.

On the other hand, fuck it. You chose this.

Have a nice day.

reb.

 

 

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36 Comments leave one →
  1. January 11, 2013 8:53 am

    Hear! Hear! Just one more NO Coalition non-entity. And he can’t even count!

  2. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    January 11, 2013 9:36 am

    Joe Hockey has always been a boof head, he’s no longer an avuncular one

    It really is quite sad that Hockey was ever considered as leadership material. But then we have Gillard as Prime Minister, and Abbott as Opposition Leader, and that is a national embarrassment.

    Compare the current lot to the first Hawke Ministry, there are half a dozen or more who would make a claim to the leadership before Gillard. There is a shocking lack of depth in the parliament.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Hawke_Ministry

  3. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 9:40 am

    On the other hand, fuck it. You chose this.

    Goes for the rest of the rabble, churnbull included.

  4. January 11, 2013 9:45 am

    “churnbull included”

    Hmmmm…..

    I think the difference with Talcum is that he shows a propensity for progressive change… His stance on marriage equality for one thing sets him apart from the rest of the Coalition rabble….

    The rest of them just fall into line with whatever John Howard would’ve done…

  5. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 9:51 am

    His stance on marriage equality for one thing sets him apart from the rest of the Coalition rabble….

    imo., the outright lies he propagates against his own portfolio override any other issue.

  6. January 11, 2013 9:53 am

    fair enough…

  7. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 10:09 am

    haterz gonna hate 😉

  8. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 10:10 am

    hockey proves this article correct, missing (deliberately?) the ‘context’

    Responding to the report, the shadow treasurer, Joe Hockey, said the Howard government left Labor with a $20 billion surplus and no net debt. “It was not John Howard and Peter Costello who wasted billions of taxpayer dollars on dangerous pink batts and overpriced school halls – it was this Labor government,” he said.

    Read more: http://www.canberratimes.com.au/opinion/political-news/australias-most-wasteful-spending-came-in-howard-era-finds-imf-20130110-2cj38.html#ixzz2HcFfhcrp

  9. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    January 11, 2013 10:11 am

    He lies about telecommunications policy?

    I believe the NBN is behind schedule, over budget, slower take up rate… but other than all that apparently it’s all fine and the executives are giving themselves really big bonuses for being so successful!

  10. 2DT Shock Jock permalink
    January 11, 2013 10:38 am

    How can anyone be accused of lying about the NBN when the Government refuses to tell the whole truth in the first place.

  11. January 11, 2013 10:57 am

    But they paid for the best advice our money can buy.

  12. el gordo permalink
    January 11, 2013 10:59 am

    The troof is out there.

  13. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 11:00 am

    He lies about telecommunications policy?

    Hard to believe, isn’t it 😦

    http://delimiter.com.au/2012/08/22/turnbull-factually-inaccurate-on-nbn-costs/

  14. January 11, 2013 11:05 am

    Since when have “facts” ever mattered to the Liberal party……??

  15. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 11:06 am

    the Government refuses to tell the whole truth in the first place.

    Like?

  16. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 11:08 am

    I also like this one

    http://nbnmyths.wordpress.com/malcolms-myths/

  17. 2DT Shock Jock permalink
    January 11, 2013 11:13 am

    “Hard to believe, isn’t it”

    LOL

    TomR,

    So Turnbull is wrong because the NBN Co forecast of expenditure and revenue says he will be wrong.

    How amusing.

    This is all starting to sound suspiciously like the much vaunted forecast “Budget Surplus” that ended up never being quite achievable.

    Even when almost every commentator in the Country said Swan would never get there.

    Anyone at NBN Co. with a crystal ball and a spreadsheet should be taken seriously according to the usual TomR School of Logic.

    Has Mike Quigley of NBN Co figured out where Costa Rica is yet ?

  18. 2DT Shock Jock permalink
    January 11, 2013 11:15 am

    “Like?”

    Like releasing the complete financial analysis as conducted by Treasury and the Department of Finance.

    Not just small selected extracts.

  19. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 11:23 am

    Yes, that would make his claim ‘factually incorrect’ 2DT, particularly if he doesn’t bother to back up his claims with some figures

    He has made quite a few ‘factually incorrect’ statements, like this one, from the other link

    ” the internet is “going wireless”.”

    Just wrong on so many levels.

  20. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    January 11, 2013 11:33 am

    All the NBN costs were based on a slimmed down version of the trial sites and the costs of installing it in Telstra.

    Some things that changed to inflate the costs-
    • There is far more traffic management planning and activity – contractors with Telstra just got it done without too much attention to this safety issue. Planning the work and manning appropriate traffic management is costly.
    • Safety, and working in pits was not regulated. It is now. Again the proper, safe work practices are more costly than the previous haphazard processes.
    • Unions have now successfully pressed a number of contractors for higher rates and shorter hours. So people are working less, for more money than was budgeted. The rates are flowing on to the previously low cost subcontractors.
    • The rollout plan was always ambitious, and in practice is proving to be too ambitious.

  21. 2DT Shock Jock permalink
    January 11, 2013 12:00 pm

    ” the internet is “going wireless”.”

    TomR

    It might be an oxymoron in your case but I assume you have a smart phone.

    Perhaps you might like to keep Turnbull’s statements in the context that they are meant to be in.

  22. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 12:19 pm

    Perhaps you might like to keep Turnbull’s statements in the context that they are meant to be in.

    Which is precisely what I am doing, and you are ignoring.

    He is trying to imply that wireless can replace cable. It cannot. Wireless is a handy extension to the main infrastructure, but cannot carry the load of cable.

  23. armchair opinionator permalink
    January 11, 2013 12:46 pm

    He is trying to imply that wireless can replace cable. It cannot.

    But it sounds good to the same people who think global warming is not caused by human activity, no need to burden their ‘fantasy reality’ with inconvenient facts or anything.

    If you believe it, it must be true! 🙄

  24. armchair opinionator permalink
    January 11, 2013 12:57 pm

  25. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 1:04 pm

    If you believe it, it must be true!

    Priceless AO, considering 2DT’s response 😉

  26. armchair opinionator permalink
    January 11, 2013 1:11 pm

  27. 2DT Shock Jock permalink
    January 11, 2013 1:31 pm

    “considering 2DT’s response ”

    Response to what ?

  28. 2DT Shock Jock permalink
    January 11, 2013 1:41 pm

    Ha……..ha……….ha

    AO still follows her good old mate Sortius.

    The self appointed expert on the Australian Parliament’s computer network from a few weeks ago………………..who’s opinion proved to be catastrophically for his reputation……………WRONG

  29. 2DT Shock Jock permalink
    January 11, 2013 1:43 pm

    “IMF: Howard years were biggest spending. ”

    LOL

    Oh look they used figures supplied by the Treasury as usual.

    Oh look like good little chaps they left out the NBN as requested.

  30. 2DT Shock Jock permalink
    January 11, 2013 2:03 pm

    John Curtin’s government fighting the Japanese in WW2 is seen by the IMF study a proliferate spending……….?

    LOL

  31. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 2:30 pm

    Response to what ?

    This one

    It might be an oxymoron in your case but I assume you have a smart phone.

  32. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 2:34 pm

    Oh look like good little chaps they left out the NBN as requested.

    Oh look like good little chaps they left out the NBN as treasury rules dictate

    Fixed it for ya’ 😉

  33. armchair opinionator permalink
    January 11, 2013 2:42 pm

    The self appointed expert on the Australian Parliament’s computer network from a few weeks ago………………..who’s opinion proved to be catastrophically for his reputation……………WRONG

    There’s a lot of suspicious activity in abbott’s office. I think that abbott’s office deliberately uses an unmonitored computer whenever they want to ensure treasonous, seditious and grubby activities are not monitored. There should be no reason for any politician to have an unmonitored computer available to them, they are official documents that are created and they should be accountable with no avenue for secrecy.

    http://sortius-is-a-geek.com/?p=2652

    …It seems this problem has existed for some time, yet no one in Parliament House thought to correct it. Seeing as time stamps are vital for accountability, I am concerned that known bugs/problems are being exploited to cover up the time of creation of official documents. As I have noted in my last blog post, the same user was using Adobe Distiller with correct time zone flags for some press releases & transcripts, but not for others.

    …DPS has logged this issue with Microsoft to determine if this behaviour is by design or in fact an error…

    … While I am satisfied with DPS’s response, I do question the speed with which Abbott’s Office drafted & sent the statement on Peter Slipper. Between the press release being PDFed/saved & Abbott’s press conference in Brisbane there was a matter of 9 minutes for this document to be edited, clear legal & be read, understood, & recited by Abbott. This does seem to be cutting it fine at best, and after Warren Entsch’s statements regarding his knowledge of the Ashby/Slipper case & News LTD story, I can’t believe that someone in Abbott’s office had no knowledge…

    For now, I will have to say that there is a lot of suspicious activity regarding IT in Abbott’s office. There is no smoking gun (as I did claim in my last post), but more of a whiff of bullshit. The fact Abbott’s office blamed servers (which is incorrect) rather than Microsoft Word, claimed it was ongoing through April, then claimed they were unaware of the problem does make me believe there is some furious track covering happening…

  34. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 3:06 pm

    Thanks for the reminder AO

    Dear Mr Turnbull,

    I write this letter out of frustration & disappointment in your current discourse regarding the state & future of Australian telecommunications.
    ……..
    ……
    You speak of truth in politics, of ’one-line sound bites’, of the need for fact checking, yet you have spent the last year lying, using one-line sound bites, & denouncing those fact checkers you demand. When presented with evidence you are dismissive at best, downright ignorant at worst. When asked for your broadband policy documents, you refuse to hand them over to anyone. When asked for evidence to back up your claims, you attack the National Broadband Network.

    http://sortius-is-a-geek.com/?p=2673

  35. 2DT Shock Jock permalink
    January 11, 2013 3:50 pm

    “……….For now, I will have to say that there is a lot of suspicious activity regarding IT in Abbott’s office. ………..”

    Yeah just like the last time Sortius (the self appointed DPS expert got it wrong) got it WRONG.

    “… While I am satisfied with DPS’s response,”

    Well thank deity for that.

    I doubt the DPS could give a flyinf f**k about whether their response is acceptable to Sortius.

    Just more conspiracy theories from the Left.

    No proof………just theories

  36. Tom R permalink
    January 11, 2013 3:53 pm

    Just more conspiracy theories from the Left.

    Like gretch 😉

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