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EXCLUSIVE: BILL SHORTEN MISSING PRESUMED DEAD!

October 23, 2013

Bill_Shorten_DSC_3004

****A STUNNING GUTTER TRASH EXCLUSIVE***

Bill Shorten, the former right-wing Union poster boy hack, and unapologetic backstabbing self-serving survivalist is missing presumed dead.

The mealy-mouthed loyalist to himself, hasn’t been seen in public since he narrowly won a leadership ballot against Anthony Albanese some time ago.

Despite holding the position of leader of the Opposition, the once media attention seeking MP has retreated from the media spotlight fuelling speculation that he has become a paranoid recluse.

Concern for Mr Shorten’s welfare spread fast in Labor ranks when Mr Shorten failed to launch scathing attacks on a plethora of Coalition gaffes including Joe Hockey’s half a billion dollar budget blowout, the Prime Minister’s abject failure to recognise the impact of climate change and the role of changing weather conditions in the current unprecedented bushfire crisis.

“It’s like he’s just vanished into thin air” said one Senior Labor source.

He had the opportunity to seize on Abbott’s failure to address the rampant MP expense scandal, and their hypocrisy in pursuing a vendetta against Peter Slipper over a few taxi vouchers, while squandering thousands of taxpayers’ dollars on weddings, over seas trips and personal libraries.

Mr Shorten’s office in Moonee Ponds refused to take calls from The Gutter Trash earlier today.

 

18 Comments leave one →
  1. egg permalink
    October 23, 2013 6:03 pm

    While our leader is out battling a common foe, it wouldn’t be polite or smart politics to put the boot in at the moment.

    It also gives him breathing space to talk with his colleagues about climate change.

  2. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    October 23, 2013 6:22 pm

    If anyone is looking for Shorten, perhaps try the bedroom of a 23 year old staffer.

  3. egg permalink
    October 23, 2013 6:28 pm

    ‘No more than scandalous gossip ToM, he is totally focussed on getting policy right.

    ‘Mr Shorten, at the first meeting of shadow cabinet yesterday, put every Labor policy except the Better Schools and disability insurance up for review.

    ‘This includes carbon pricing. The frontbench had an “initial discussion” regarding the government’s climate change policy and “reaffirmed” Labor’s commitment to reducing carbon pollution.

    ‘The shadow cabinet has scheduled further meetings in the weeks before parliament sits.’

    – See more at: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/policy/bill-shorten-puts-majority-of-labor-policies-up-for-review/story-e6frg6xf-1226744103753#sthash.EiFtczb4.dpuf

  4. October 23, 2013 6:34 pm

    He’s a short man he may have slipped under the wire

  5. egg permalink
    October 23, 2013 6:37 pm

    That is a blatant shortist slur.

  6. egg permalink
    October 23, 2013 6:49 pm

    “A lack of caution, cunning – canniness is probably the best word.”

    Bob Carr on Labor policy under Rudd and Gillard.

    See more at: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/bob-carr-to-quit-parliament/story-fn59niix-1226745022543#sthash.SB5K0gio.dpuf

  7. TB Queensland permalink
    October 23, 2013 7:13 pm

    WTF is Bill Shorten?

  8. TB Queensland permalink
    October 24, 2013 12:39 pm

    This is a good read … it should be about the Nation not politics …

    I blame the tories for starting the game and the ALP for dancing with them … it takes two to tango …

    http://www.businessspectator.com.au/article/2013/10/24/politics/folly-shortens-knee-jerk-attack?utm_source=exact&utm_medium=email&utm_content=481502&utm_campaign=kgb&modapt=

  9. October 27, 2013 9:20 pm

    ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘impressive work at the BCA’ ‘ ‘ ‘
    ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘Enduring prosperity for all Australians’ ‘ ‘ ‘ πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†
    Well that aint gonna happen.
    http://www.businessspectator.com.au/article/2013/10/24/politics/folly-shortens-knee-jerk-attack?utm_source=exact&utm_medium=email&utm_content=481502&utm_campaign=kgb&modapt=

  10. TB Queensland permalink
    October 27, 2013 9:42 pm

    πŸ˜•

  11. TB Queensland permalink
    October 27, 2013 9:43 pm

    A meerkat moment? πŸ™„

  12. October 28, 2013 12:33 am

    ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘Rank and file Labor members have every right today to feel cynically conned, because they have been; at the end of the day the MPs have got what the MPs always wanted, and the ruse of drawing the membership base into the process has been exposed as a sham.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘
    ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘Shorten begins with nearly two-thirds of ALP members opposed to his leadership; as own goals go this one is breathtaking for its sheer political stupidity and lack of foresight.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘
    http://theredandtheblue.org/2013/10/13/illegitimate-shorten-win-spits-in-the-eyes-of-alp-members/

    the teabags are having a nice gloat over shortman too

  13. Splatterbottom permalink
    October 28, 2013 8:43 am

    Shorten is not dead. That Frankenstein of the factions is back on the slab waiting to be zapped into action at the command of Big Bill Ludwig.

  14. egg permalink
    October 28, 2013 8:53 am

    πŸ™‚

  15. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    October 28, 2013 12:55 pm

    It should be funny when Shorten is being cross examined about union slush funds and the activities of hacks.

    How many times will he say – ‘I can’t recall’?

    Also – is it fair if the media starts to report on his horizontal activities and interests? I think so!

  16. egg permalink
    October 28, 2013 1:04 pm

    Albo deserves a rethink.

  17. egg permalink
    October 29, 2013 9:14 am

    Abbott reveals his political nouse with the return of bipartisanship.

    Channelling the Bolter

    ‘Note this detail of Abbott’s latest visit to Afghanistan:

    ‘The Abbott entourage arrived at the mountainous outpost in Tarin Kowt, Oruzgan Province, under an unprecedented security shield to call time on Australia’s longest ever war… [Abbott’s] sentiments were supported by Bill Shorten who joined Mr Abbott on his fourth visit and the first ever bipartisan pilgrimage to the troops.’

    His strategy is clearly aimed at wooing the other side of politics into accepting bipartisanship on asylum seekers and climate change.

  18. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    October 29, 2013 9:37 am

    Did anyone listen to Shorten’s Afghanistan farewell speech on AM? I don’t think they played an edited version.

    Shorten travelled over there to deliver about 2 sentences. Was he restricted to 15 seconds?

    Pathetic.

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