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EXCLUSIVE: BANDANA SHOCK- PETER FITZSIMONS DOESN’T HAVE ANY HAIR!

August 27, 2015

peter_fitz_m1854107

In breaking news and with thanks to our EXCLUSIVE sources, The Gutter Trash can reveal that Peter FitzSimons, the popular author, broadcaster and former rugby union player is in fact bald as badger’s backside.

The colourful entertainer, self-professed atheist and Australian republican supporter has in recent times taken to wearing a signature red bandana whenever he appeared in public.

For the last two years FitzSimons has worn the colourful headpiece to exclusive functions, fundraising events, media interviews and television appearances.

Speculation was rife in entertainment circles that the bandana was essentially a cosmetic disguise to carefully conceal a hefty mop of Rastafarian dreadlocks, which due to his high public profile Mr FitzSimons wished to keep under wraps so to speak.

Others suspected that it was to hide the lobotomy scars. Either way, it was a clever disguise that would otherwise have gone unnoticed unless he happened to point out that he was wearing it.

But the stark reality is that he doesn’t have any hair!    Who knew…!

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51 Comments leave one →
  1. Tom R permalink
    August 27, 2015 2:14 pm

    yabot wears red speedos ………………………. nuff said 😉

  2. TB Queensland permalink
    August 27, 2015 2:34 pm

    shit! I was going to say that!

    doo-doo-doo-dooooo

  3. Tom R permalink
    August 27, 2015 2:36 pm

    I DEMAND A PLEBISCITE!

    ONLY one in four voters believe Dyson Heydon should continue as unions royal commissioner.

    http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/national/dyson-heydon-still-weighing-up-his-options/story-fnjbnvyj-1227497372046

    shit! I was going to say that!

    nya nya nya nya nya 🙂

    (I like the mature debates we have on here 🙂 )

  4. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 27, 2015 2:38 pm

    “yabot wears red speedos”

    Forget the budgie smugglers! These are my idea of red speedos to feel good in.

  5. TB Queensland permalink
    August 27, 2015 2:45 pm

    Yer sure its not this, sb … ?

  6. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 27, 2015 2:51 pm

    No, that is utterly disgusting TB!

  7. TB Queensland permalink
    August 27, 2015 2:55 pm

    You have a way with words, sb, I like visuals … I’ll leave it up to the Blogmeister to censure it tho’ … 😉

  8. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 27, 2015 3:19 pm

    I think you mean “censor”

  9. TB Queensland permalink
    August 27, 2015 3:36 pm

    I meant censure … I think your Luger just backfired …

  10. August 27, 2015 4:00 pm

    //platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

  11. TB Queensland permalink
    August 27, 2015 4:27 pm

    That’s utterly disgusting, sreb!

  12. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 27, 2015 4:42 pm

    Peter F should just be graceful about the state of his hair, like all these people.

    https://www.google.com/search?safe=off&hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1100&bih=552&q=celebrity+toupees+before+and+after&oq=celebrity+toup&gs_l=img.3.2.0l3j0i5i30j0i8i30j0i24.2092.7304.0.12044.14.13.0.1.1.0.312.1985.2-7j1.8.0….0…1ac.1.64.img..5.9.1986.AC8XyU7qgRg#safe=off&hl=en&tbm=isch&q=celebrity+toupees+

  13. August 27, 2015 4:49 pm

    Mickey Rourke looks good for his age…

  14. TB Queensland permalink
    August 27, 2015 5:08 pm

    Which one is he?

  15. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    August 27, 2015 6:09 pm

    Let’s hope this is the next president of the USA!!

  16. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 27, 2015 6:44 pm

    Go The Donald!

  17. TB Queensland permalink
    August 27, 2015 6:49 pm

    And you thought the photo above was “utterly disgusting”, sb …

    Is that a Mohawk hairpiece?

  18. August 27, 2015 10:19 pm

    Yeah, the Press Club wheeled-out old `bandana-boy` to help eleventy to spruik recent `republic-distraction` to give eleventy some breathing space over continual crap `numbers`

  19. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 28, 2015 9:04 am

    “And you thought the photo above was “utterly disgusting”, sb … “

    To be clear, TB, it is the costume that is disgusting rather than the hunk in it. I’d certainly prefer to look like him than the Donald.

    But you must admit that the rise of The Donald is a fascinating phenomenon. If he is not the Republican nominee then the Republicans can’t win as he will stand as an independent and split the vote. And if he is the Republican nominee ……. ?

  20. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 9:28 am

    And if he is the Republican nominee ……. ? then there is possibility he will be the next potus seeing Hilary Clinton is going after the gun lobby.

    If there is one things Americans will defend to the death, literally, it is their right to massacre each other, kiddies and all!

  21. Walrus permalink
    August 28, 2015 9:34 am

    At this stage there are rapidly growing doubts that Hillary will even get nominated.

  22. Walrus permalink
    August 28, 2015 9:38 am

    “If there is one things Americans will defend to the death, literally, it is their right to massacre each other, ”

    Yep

    The old argument will continue to be trotted out that if everybody has a gun then they’ll be able to defend themselves better from a “shooter”.

    Like how many times has that happened ???????????????and how does that exactly work when a reporter has a microphone in one hand and her back to the “shooter” and the camera man…………………well he’s struggling to hold a camera in shot and focus.

  23. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 9:45 am

    I don’t know about the number of times they have come in handy for defense. It’s probably close to the zero mark. But I saw a report yesterday that said the number of mass murders by gun (over 4 people) is at around 6/week, almost one per day.

  24. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 9:46 am

    btw wally, welcome back, we were about to send out the search party 😉

    https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/daily-morning-awesomeness-35-photos-1146.jpg?quality=90&strip=info&w=899

  25. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 9:58 am

  26. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 28, 2015 10:04 am

    “At this stage there are rapidly growing doubts that Hillary will even get nominated.”

  27. TB Queensland permalink
    August 28, 2015 10:07 am

    But you must admit that the rise of The Donald is a fascinating phenomenon.

    No … but it does tell me that often its the dickheads who end up with so much money they really can buy anything – even stupid … it also tells you a lot a bout the American psyche …

    Lovely people … but so fkn paranoid (I have worked there) …

    TR, this is Wally’s “season” to make “hay” … TAX TIME!

  28. Walrus permalink
    August 28, 2015 10:08 am

    “btw wally, welcome back”

    Thanks TomR,

    I’ve been lurking trying to build up a new store of venom and shrillness. I was feeling rather rundown being very busy making $.

    Clients in Sydney still pouring money into negatively geared properties. But these days with rates so low negative gearing is just not as attractive as it used to be.

    Plus with all the welfare safety nets around the joint these days the sense of satisfaction of owning rentals and evicting single mums, widows, pensioners and orphans just does not have the sense of satisfaction that it used to have.

  29. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 28, 2015 10:12 am

    “No … but it does tell me that often its the dickheads who end up with so much money they really can buy anything “

    Like the Klintoons? Or the Bushes?

  30. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 10:17 am

    I was feeling rather rundown being very busy collecting grubmint subsidised $.

    Fixed it fer ya wally 😉

  31. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 10:30 am

    Holy shit
    [repeat to self]
    I’m not going to godwin
    I’m not going to godwin
    I’m not going to godwin

    “ABF officers will be positioned at various locations around the CBD speaking with any individual we cross paths with,” Mr Smith said.

    “You need to be aware of the conditions of your visa; if you commit visa fraud you should know it’s only a matter of time before you’re caught out.”

    http://newsroom.border.gov.au/releases/abf-joining-inter-agency-outfit-to-target-crime-in-melbourne-cbd

  32. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 10:36 am

    A fucking good question

  33. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 10:39 am

    And another good question

  34. TB Queensland permalink
    August 28, 2015 10:53 am

    Like the Klintoons? Or the Bushes?

    Well, they are rich and they are Americans … apart from his non-sexual encounters (erhem) Clinton was a pretty good POTUS the last Bush had a brain like one … and is probably responsible for the mess we call deash …

  35. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 28, 2015 11:22 am

    “and is probably responsible for the mess we call deash”

    So you think Obama cutting and running early and then refusing to do anything about Islamic Sate (other than call it the Jayvee Team) had nothing to do with their rise.

    Ultimately it is Islamic State’s religious views which drive their actions and those views are derived from the actions of the Prophet and Islamic scripture. This version of Islam is strong, vigorous and assertive. It resonates with young idealistic types who take their religion seriously. Islamic teachings are responsible for Islamic State.

    The West deserves to go down to these savages. It has lost all confidence in its own virtues. The victim studies movement dominates academia and the intelligentsia. The miserabilist view of history prevails – all that the West is about is colonialism, racism and sexism.

    “we call deash”

    This is funny. Deash is not its name – Islamic State is. Daesh is an Arabic acronym often used by those who don’t want to mention Islam because it might offend fuckwits who think that Islamic State has nothing to do with Islam.

  36. Neil of Sydney permalink
    August 28, 2015 11:47 am

    apart from his non-sexual encounters (erhem) Clinton was a pretty good POTUS

    I actually agree with that. Clinton was actually running surplus budgets and was well on the way to paying off all US govt debt. As soon a Bush was elected that was all destroyed.

  37. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 11:56 am

    So you think Obama cutting and running early

    You mean the same time bush was planning to? The coalition of the stupid were warned before they went in that removing the center of power like Sadam risked worst to come. Now we have seen that come true

    Deash is not its name No, it is what we call it.

    But who cares, we have #borderfarce to protect us form ourselves!

  38. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 12:05 pm

    Will we ever hear from yomm again, or will he be swept up in operation border farce, and returned to the corporate haven he emigrated from?

    Will reb be clutched by their claws and shipped back overseas to the isle of Young Einstein, never to he herd of again?

    what an absolute farce this cuntry has become. Fucken goosetsteps on the streets

  39. Tom R permalink
    August 28, 2015 12:30 pm

  40. Splatterbottom permalink
    August 28, 2015 1:45 pm

    “No, it is what we call it.”

    Speak for yourself, Dhimmi!

    “Fucken goosetsteps on the streets”

    Says the fucken goose shitting lies all over the blogosphere.

  41. TB Queensland permalink
    August 28, 2015 3:10 pm

    … offend fuckwits who think that Islamic State has nothing to do with Islam.

    It was a play on words … no caps — and mesh — deash … get it?

    And as you may have realised by now I have no time for organised religion whatsoever … rather than getting my knickers in a knot …

    I take a subjective view with IS, ISIS, ISIL, Daesh (whatever they you or any other silly bugger wants to call them) – just don’t tangle with my family!

    And why is TR a dhimmi? He votes for the ALP FFS! He’s under scrutiny right now! 🙂

    I want to know why the brownshirts are only in Melbourne ?

  42. TB Queensland permalink
    August 31, 2015 11:13 am

    Breaking News …

    Pete’s out and about sans bandanna – SINCE THIS POST BY, sreb!

  43. August 31, 2015 11:17 am

    You heard it here first!!!

  44. Tom of Melbourne permalink
    September 1, 2015 1:54 pm

    This should be hilarious!

    Mark Latham, the man the ALP recommended to us as the best person from their ranks for Prime Minister, will go out of his way to present the very best of ALP thinking!

    THE Nine Network has confirmed it will film a pilot for a new late-night panel show hosted by Karl Stefanovic as early as next week.
    Nine has also signed former Labor leader Mark Latham as a panellist, the Australian reports.
    Featuring in the pilot alongside Mr Latham will be former Liberal minister Amanda Vanstone, actress Pallavi Sharda, entrepreneur Tammy May and chief executive of a not-for-profit organisation, Seb Robertson.

    http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/tv/karl-stefanovic-and-mark-latham-to-film-pilot-for-nines-new-panel-show/story-e6frfmyi-1227507669142

  45. TB Queensland permalink
    September 1, 2015 2:01 pm

    This should be hilarious!

    Yep, a bunch of no-hopers paid and somely no doubt to burble nonsense … from the “host” down …

    Pay TV is really scraping the bottom of the cesspit with that lot …

  46. September 1, 2015 2:10 pm

    “” former Liberal minister Amanda Vanstone,””

    I thought that she had taken up a post parliamentary position in some plum role in Sicily as the Minister for Judging a good spag bog?

  47. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 1, 2015 2:37 pm

    Mark Latham, the man the ALP recommended to us as the best person from their ranks for Prime Minister, will go out of his way to present the very best of ALP thinking!”

    They have a habit of doing that. They knew Rudd was dysfunctional before he was elected. Then they sacked him because they said he was a psycho. Then they installed him as leader again. that is the ALP for you: the party of principle.

    Now it is Shorten because the union bosses over-rode the members.

    We don’t need a witch hunt to understand that lot so much as a cunt hunt. The party is full of them.

  48. TB Queensland permalink
    September 1, 2015 5:42 pm

    The party is full of them.

    Perhaps you could now describe – in your colourful way … the present bunch of retards …

    Just to maintain (your) balanced and fair apprehended bias … 🙂

  49. TB Queensland permalink
    September 1, 2015 5:43 pm

    HTF did handsomely turn into — and somely … ?

  50. Splatterbottom permalink
    September 1, 2015 5:54 pm

    “… the present bunch of retards … “

    Words fail me, TB. It is like watching the zombie cast of Shaun of the Dead pretend to be visionary saviours of our country as they slaver and slobber from one disaster to the next. I’m sure there is at least one decent person in that party but they remain well hidden.

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